Page 54 of Untruly With You

“You okay?” I ask again, my voice barely above a whisper.

Laine nods, her eyes locked onto mine. “Yeah,” she breathes, and there’s a vulnerability in her voice that I’ve never heard before. “I’m better than okay.”

We tread water, face to face, close enough for our limbs to collide as we move. The coolness of the water is invigorating, but it’s nothing compared to the thrill of her presence. Laine's eyes hold mine, my chest tightens. Almost involuntarily, I drift toward her. And it seems as though she’s doing the same, because soon we’re nothing but a tangle of limbs.

I thought I knew what I wanted.

I wanted to be an editor. I wanted to be in the city.

But now, it’s hard to imagine a world outside of this moment.

Now, all I know is that I wanther.

We linger for a time, both of us knowing the inevitable is coming. Both of us too scared to accept it just yet. I’m not sure how long we stay in that motion, dangerously close as we tread water. It could be seconds or minutes. Eventually, one of my arms finds its way around her torso. I have to kickmy legs fiercely to stay afloat. It’s worth it when Laine pulls against me so close that even the icy water can’t slip between us. She tips her forehead closer, and I take the invitation, furthering it as I drag my mouth against the spot where her jaw and neck meet. She shudders.

Her hands press against my back, holding me against her, and my mouth melts against hers. The heat behind her kiss courses through my body. We almost dip under the surface of the lake, both of us more interested in each other than we are in staying afloat. In a final moment of clarity, I tilt back, holding Laine against my chest, and kick us toward the shore.

“What about the canoe?” she murmurs, breathless.

“Later.” That one word is all I can think to say.

I always imagined that kissing Laine—reallykissing her—would be like a fire hose to flames, dampening my ever-growing want for her.

I was wrong. It’s like gasoline to a fire.

As soon as my feet touch the rocks along the bottom of the lake, I turn my attention fully back to Laine. She’s still unable to get a good footing, so I hold her up around me, looking to somehow get closer to her. Gone is caution and subtlety, the worries and anxiety.

My smile interrupts our fervent kisses.

Laine pulls back just enough to mirror my expression. Our chests rise and fall rapidly against each other. My brain is static.

“Laine,” I whisper, my voice raspy. “I can't pretend anymore.”

“What do you mean?” she asks, voice as bubbly as ever.

“I want to be with you. Really, wholly…trulybe with you.”

Laine's eyes widen in the moonlight's glow. Her lips part, but no words escape. Her grip on me tightens, and throughour wet shirts, I can feel her heart pounding as wildly as mine.

“I mean it, Laine,” I continue, my voice heavy with the raw words I've held back for too long. “I want to be with you,” I repeat, my voice set. “I can't keep pretending like what I feel for you is just an act.”

Laine’s eyes glisten. “Sutton,” she finally says, her voice filled with emotion. “You don’t want to be with me.” She looks up at the sky, as if the right words to say were written in the stars. “I don’t even know what I want in life. I’m a mess.”

With my thumb, I tip Laine’s chin down, studying her, appreciating her. “What a beautiful mess.”

With all the feelings I've harbored for Laine surging through me, I lean in and kiss her again. Laine's arms tighten around me, pulling me even closer, as if she's afraid that I'll disappear. I strengthen my hold, savoring the taste of her, the feel of her, the sheer perfection of her.

The crickets and owls continue their song, and the lake laps gently at our legs, as if nature itself is celebrating with us.

23

LAINE

I’ve never slept so poorly.

I swear Montanan crickets are louder than New York City traffic. Not to mention the constant rustling in the grass outside our tent, probably that garter snake back for revenge. And there’s the owls hooting their never-ending hoots. Of course, there’s also Sutton, dead to the world even as the clear sky lightens and the stars fade against their backdrop.

Instead of sleeping last night, my mind bounced between two very distinct tracks, like a wild game of ping-pong.

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