Page 113 of Iridian

“Of course,” Madeline said.

Of course,like healing me was a very normal thing, like she’d done it all the time, all my life.

“Let’s talk, shall we?” she then said, and every inch of my skin crawled.

My first instinct was to sayno,to tell her to leave so I could go sit with Taland until he woke up, make sure he was safe, but…

Icould.I could make sure he was safe through these soldiers, and I really, so desperately needed to know what had happened, how the fight had ended, if Selem had really taken over—Ineededto know.

“In my office. You can eat there, too. Come, Rosabel.”

Eat.

Could it be that my limbs were still shaking the way they were because I needed food?

Possibly.Probably.

I looked back at the room again, at the bed, hoping maybe Taland had opened his eyes, but he was still sound asleep, his face now clean. He looked…peaceful.

I would leave most of the soldiers with him. The ones in the room, and another five outside, I thought. And I was going to think the words clearly, too, except the moment I stepped outside, two of the soldiers on each end of the line they’d made in front of my doors moved with me, while the five remained. Ricardus took his place in front of the handles again, a mountain of a man that I knew nobody could possibly get through if they tried.

I didn’t need to think the words at all—I just needed to think like I normally didfor them to understand, apparently. Andjudging by the look of pure shock on her face, Madeline was much more surprised by the fact than me.

“Lead the way,” I said, and I noticed how her guards looked at the soldiers behind me. I noticed the one on her right, the same guy who’d smuggled me into the Iris Roe, had pushed me around to his heart’s desire.

I’d been mad at him then. I felt nothing now.

Together all six of us made our way to Madeline’s office through the empty hallways, and I found myself praying it would be over soon.

Chapter 28

Rosabel La Rouge

Taland, Taland, Taland.

When they opened the office doors for me and let me through, I briefly considered running back just to see if he was awake—and then I was shoved down that fucking tunnel again, and Madeline’s office was not the only thing I could see, but my bedroom, too. Through the eyes of the guard—Lind—who stood by the bathroom door, I saw the bed and I saw Taland, sleeping, exactly as I’d left him minutes ago.

Then I wasspit backinto my own body—that’s exactly what it felt like. Spit back out of that tunnel, and the office in front of me spun, and it was a miracle I didn’t lose my balance as I walked ahead.

Still, I was completely disoriented, and so I made a big mistake.

I looked to the left of the office knowing full well that that’s where Madeline’s oval mirror was mounted on the wall. The reflection shocked me all over again, paralyzed me in place. I saw my face and my wet hair and my pale skin and my whiteeyes, and they held me captive for a good second. No air went down my throat as I looked at myself, at what I had become. My heart pounded and my hands shook?—

“Rosabel.”

Madeline’s voice rang in my ears, pulling me out of my trance. Breaking whatever spell the sight of myself had put on me. I turned to find her waving her hand at the armchairs—the same ones where we’d sat when she brought me here from the Blue House. When Taland called her to come save me from his brothers.

Goddess, that felt like ages ago.

The new armchair—because I’d made the old one dirty by sitting on it, she’d said—looked even less comfortable than the old one had been. I didn’t want to sit in it—I would rather stand when speaking to her.

She looked so different to me now—like alittle childas she waited for me to respond. She looked…harmless, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why I’d ever been afraid of her. Terrified. In need of her love and affection—and most importantly, approval.

She was just a woman, wasn’t she? She couldn’t hurt me, couldn’t even come close. Not anymore.

“I’m fine right here,” I said, turning my back to the mirror slowly because I needed to be present, not lose my shit, and I needed to get this over with sooner rather than later. It wasn’t just her—this place was full of bad memories. Not just because of when I came back from the Iris Roe, but the last time I was here as well. I could still hear the sound of her pouring her whiskey as she held me down on that couch on the other side of the room and ordered me to tell her everything.

“Very well. You need food. Fiona will be here any moment,” Madeline said and sat in her precious armchair, with that cup in front of her, her tea still steaming, the golden design on it, theoversize saucer just teasing those bad memories I had of the last time I saw them.

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