Page 47 of Second Chance

Charlie saves Tony from having to point that out. “And you want your post-hike beer. Provided by Blake G, which is why he can’t be here with us.”

“We’ll definitely be done in time for that.”

It’s a great day for it, clear skies and fresh air, not as oppressively hot and humid as it sometimes gets in September. If it were a little warmer, it would be unbearable as there’s so little shade, but the worst of it is the steep incline.

“This isn’t a real hike, huh?” Daniel huffs part of the way through, his cheeks now red and his hair starting to stick to the back of his neck with sweat. Tony still thinks he looks good, which is further proof of how very gone Tony is on him.

“No.” Tony only keeps his face straight because he’s wearing sunglasses, and Daniel can’t see his eyes. “It doesn’t count unless you need some rope and mountaineering equipment.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Daniel stomps ahead in mock fury.

Tony watches him go with no small pleasure.

He draws to a halt soon enough, anyway, at the ruins of the old Overlook Hotel. They’re more overgrown than the last time Tony was here, and the end of a summer season means jackass tourists have left trash in all the corners.

The ruins still make something ache in Tony’s chest.

“Never seen anything like this in the US.” Daniel surveys the surroundings quietly, taking it in the way he does with things he thinks are beautiful. Tony’s had that look directed at him, and it makes his heartrate pick up.

Blake, heedless of nature’s beauty and the awe it inspires in other people, walks right past them and through the door leading to nothing but rocks and dust.

“Never seen them in Europe,” Tony murmurs.

Tony sometimes wonders if Daniel would bring him to one of his conferences farther away or if they could go somewhere together to relax, like a real couple.

Daniel takes a deep drag from his water bottle. “It’s different. When I was in France, the ruins were…they’re a tourist attraction, you know? To remember history by.”

Tony swallows. “Ruins around here are just failures.” He thinks of downtown Kingston, of all the historic buildings in different states of disrepair. As proud as people are of being part of Kingston, no one’s pumping money into making it a real destination.

“It’s not a failure. It’s something manmade that’s been given back to nature.”

Tony could say something about the empty soda bottles in the corner, the paper napkins piled up and mixed in with the dried leaves. He can’t quite find the words, though, and then Charlie asks Daniel about Lobell and his work. Daniel steps off and into the ruins, and Tony follows.

Daniel talks about Lily as they walk on. Lisa and Charlie asked, so he explains the story so far in broad strokes. Tony tunes out the parts he knows already and only begins actively listening when Daniel describes this morning’s events.

“It was strange. She was upset all week, and today, it seemed suddenly as if she hadn’t even processed that she found a woman bleeding out on the floor of the science building. She kept asking me about her grade.”

“It’s the second week,” Charlie says. “How would she have a grade?”

“Oh, she took the class last year.” Daniel waves his hand dismissively. “She dropped out of the semester before handing in the final paper, so it counts as a flunked class on her transcript. She managed to make up the rest over the summer, but that one class wasn’t available. I think she’s hoping now the professor’s…gone, someone will reconsider. It was wild, actually. She was talking a mile a minute and kept laughing about the idea.”

“That’s cold,” Charlie says.

Tony frowns to himself. It doesn’t add up, not when two days ago, she was so grief-stricken she couldn’t attend the memorial, according to her boyfriend. But why would she pretend not to feel anything in front of Daniel? Perhaps as a smokescreen to hide her guilt after killing someone and taping the murder weapon to Daniel’s door? That seems unnecessarily complicated. To make him think she’s as stable and ready for the new semester as he did a week ago? Maybe Sean was reading her wrong on the day of the memorial. Maybe her reasons for not attending had nothing to do with grief and everything to do with egotism.

Tony thinks of how Lily looked in the rearview mirror of his car, all bloodshot eyes and panic.

“I wouldn’t call it cold,” he says. “It sounds like she’s a mess right now. Probably doesn’t know what she’s doing.” Leaving threatening messages and weapons on people’s doors, for example.

Daniel sighs. He’s caught the subtext. “I know, right? I tried to convince her to go to counseling, but she kept saying it was fine.”

Tony shakes his head to himself out of Daniel’s line of sight. So, Lily gave him nothing, and Daniel went to his go-to, trying to herd his students to counseling as if counseling has any more appointments left to give. Tony wonders if Daniel’s ever thought of going himself, if they really can help. He likes to think they can. Someday, when Gianna gets her degree done, she’ll be the one with an overcrowded schedule and not much she can do besides listen to other people’s troubles. He can barely imagine it.

“Well,” Lisa says. “It’s been less than a week. I think her mental health will stabilize if you give her some more time.”

Tony doubts it after everything he’s seen and heard about Lily, but it’s a nice thought.

“Yeah. You’re probably right,” Daniel rubs across his forehead with his shirtsleeve. “Something happens, and then you get a million emails about it, and everything seems so important.”

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