Page 50 of Second Chance

He could. He’s sure he could. Absolutely. It would be easy because it would be a lie. It wouldn’t mean anything, and it wouldn’t reveal anything about Tony and who he is and what he wants.

He wonders when it got so hard for him to be honest about these things.

For a long time, he thought he was waiting, biding his time. But along the way, he turned himself into someone who hides away every vulnerable part of himself. Every part of himself that makes himfeel, whether it’s Daniel, or the panic still thick in his chest at the thought of what happened in January when they both nearly died. When Daniel nearly hit the harsh waters of the Hudson and somehow, Tony was the one who dashed up against the rocks and decided not to put himself back together for months on end because no one but Daniel could see he needed to.

You gotta work on this, Anthony, he thinks to himself.Daniel deserves better.

“So, college man,” Charlie says, having reached the top at last. “What do you think of hiking?”

Daniel turns away from Tony with an easy laugh. “You know, some super pretentious people go on and on about the healing power of nature and how we need to get out there and forget our phones.”

He pauses a second for dramatic effect, and Tony knows before he says it, what Daniel’s going to say.

“I hate that they’re right.”

The group collapses into giggles, and they stay there for a while, looking out at the forest beneath them.

Chapter Eight

There’s a package of Milano wafers in the back of the cabinet in the tiny faculty kitchen in Daniel’s office building.

In a minute, or ten, or whenever Daniel gets to the office he’s supposed to be waiting in, they’re going out to dinner. Right now, the locked door means there’s no hot professor for Tony to wine and dine, and Tony’s starving—he packed one sandwich for work again today.

He fishes out the packet of Milano wafers and tries one. It’s inedibly stale. Tony fills up a cup of water at the water fountain to wash away the disconcerting mouthfeel of crumbly chocolate.

The door to the building swings open. Condelmuir, being unbearably pompous, boasts a very big door. Not only do all the buildings on this campus have names as if they house British royalty, no, some of them also look like it, and Daniel’s office building is one of the worst offenders. Wood paneling covers everything. The floorboards squeak. The windows in the entrance hall—an actual room—have pointed arches above them.

In this building, it would be hard not to be aware of the door bursting open.

The sound is quickly followed by voices—tight, raised voices. Tony would recognize Daniel’s voice no matter the tone. He ambles toward the entrance, trying to make it seem as if he’s casually walking in that direction.

No one is watching.

He feels ridiculous.

The door to Daniel’s office slams shut as Tony reaches the hallway by the door, leaving Tony to wave awkwardly at the uniformed officer standing in front of it.

Through the door, Tony can make out the gist of what is happening.

“You seem to believe an unfounded suspicion is enough for administration to accept unconstitutional searches.” Daniel sounds prissy, which is a clear sign he’s very sure he’s right and being ignored. He gets like this about Tony’s approach to washing the dishes (nine times out of ten, Tony doesn’t see a need for detergent). Tony doesn’t care that much about the dishes. He does enjoy how Daniel starts overenunciating his consonants and picking unnecessarily long words.

“A woman is dead,” an exasperated voice says though the door. Having seen her recently, Tony recognizes Detective Taylor’s voice instantly. “I’m not looking to infringe on anyone’s rights, Professor Rosenbaum. Just trying to make sure no one else dies.”

“I understand your concerns.” The dulcet sound of Daniel Rosenbaum at a level eight priss, minimum, cheers Tony. “But I don’t think a mass search is the way to go.”

“It’s the only way to go. And if administration doesn’t budge, I’ll have to use my warrant.”

Tony winces.

He wonders if Detective Taylor would see it Daniel’s way if she knew the murder weapon is definitely not on campus but rather in the junk drawer in Daniel’s kitchen. That would be a fun way to announce his presence. And torpedo his relationship, while he’s at it. It would also be a fun way to get arrested for obstruction of justice.

The officer skulking by the door crosses his arms, eyebrows rising. It’s the first he’s acknowledged Tony’s presence.

“Imagine a thousand of him, and every single one wants to debate you about the room searches,” Tony says. “Now you’ve got the student body.”

The officer frowns. “We’re trying to—”

“I know. I get it, man. But this is not the right clientele for that kind of law and order.”

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