Page 59 of It Must Be Fate

I start to cry again, a fresh wave of tears making its way down my face.

“Why are you crying?” he asks gently.

“I want to stay with you,” I say. My voice drops to a pained, raspy whisper with my next words. I wish I could take his hand and bring him back with me. “But I can’t.”

It’s an impossible thing to say and my tears are somewhat of guilt, because I need to get back to my husband. As much as I want to see Astor, Phoenix is the one that I can’t leave behind.

Astor’s smile broadens and brightens like I’ve just given him the best news he’s ever received.

“You’ve made the right decision, ladybug.” I didn’t realize it was mine alone to make. “It isn’t your time. He needs you.”

He doesn’t need to specify who he’s talking about. We both know who he means. Despair claws at that thundering organ in my chest because I need Phoenix as much as he needs me.

“It’s not the first time you’ve said that.”

He closes the distance between us until he’s standing so close I could reach out and touch him. “My death almost killed him,” he tells me. “But yours would put him in his own grave and nail the coffin shut. He can’t survive without you. He’s barely hanging on right now.” He pauses, his eyes closing and a frown pulling at his brow like he’s seeing something in his mind that he doesn’t like. When they reopen, he says, “You need to get back, I don’t want to have to see him here next.”

It yanks at my own sanity to hear that Phoenix isn’t doing well. I know that I stabilize him, that I bring quiet to the madness inside him. Hearing that he’s going off the deep end while I’m hovering between life and death is awful.

As much as I know I need to go back, I can’t bring myself to end this just yet. Whatever connection exists between us that brings Astor to me when I need him most, it’s rare and I want to make best use of the time I do have with him.

“And my niece wants to meet you.”

My eyes fly to his. I find them shining with tears. Happy tears that he’s shedding for me, for our family.

I bring my palms together and up to my lips. “Niece?”

He smiles that brilliant smile of his. “Yeah, my niece. Phoenix is going to spoil her rotten. You did good, Six.”

I make a sound that’s half-laugh, half-cry but entirely delighted. So Phoenix was right.

We have a daughter.

“She’s okay?” I ask. “She’s healthy?”

“She’s perfectly healthy. But she needs her mum, don’t you think?”

I nod, clamping my hands over my mouth as if they can physically restrain all the emotion from pouring out of me.

We have a daughter.

Fifteen years ago, the three of us would run through these very same woods, laughing and screaming and playing and fighting and loving each other, and today, Phoenix and I brought a daughter into the world.

Today, I saw Astor again.

Now I know that this was fate. That she was always meant to be born today and in this way so that her uncle could make sure I made my way back to her.

“Time to go, ladybug,” he informs me. “But I can’t take you back this way. This journey you have to make all by yourself.”

My breath falters in my lungs.

He extends a hand towards me.

I stare at it, at his small hand that’s only about half the size of mine, letting his words sink in.

He says them with a finality that tells me he doesn’t expect to see me again. I realize with a sick feeling of dread in my stomach that he gives me his hand like it’s goodbye.

I slip my fingers through his, surprised by the contact, surprised by how strongly his ten-year-old hand grips mine inreturn. He squeezes it in a way that carries all the emotion in the world.

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