Page 62 of It Must Be Fate

“I couldn’t… Not when I didn’t know if you’d be okay. Not when I didn’t know if she’d cost me you.”

“I understand, but now she needs her daddy.”

He hesitates for a moment, then presses a long, closed-mouth kiss to my lips. He pulls away and turns, going over to her crib. When he picks her up, she almost completely disappears in his arms.

“She’s so small,” he notes, wonder tinging his voice. “I don’t know if I’m holding her correctly.” His eyes lift back up to mine, softened by affection. “She’s as beautiful as her mother.”

Phoenix walks back to my side and gently places her in my arms. He stays braced above us as I stare down into her little face, looking at her perfect nose and tiny mouth. At the strawberry blonde tuft of hair crowning her head. At her ten fingers and their minuscule nails.

“Hi…” I say, my voice catching. We had already picked out names, but none of them feel right anymore.

I caress her cheek softly with the tips of my fingers. I know her name. I know it in my soul.

“Hi, Astra.”

A soft noise tumbles from Phoenix’s lips. When I look up at him, emotion shines brightly in his eyes as his gaze moves from me to her.

“Astra,” he whispers, his voice thick with unspoken feeling. “I love it.”

It’s only fitting that our daughter would be named after the other most important person in our lives. Wherever he is, I hope her uncle is smiling as he watches over us.

“Do you know what else it means?” I ask him.

He nods, bending towards me.

“Star,” he breathes, his lips finding mine. “It means star. Our very own little star.” He kisses her forehead next. “It’s perfect.”

***

Later, Phoenix will ask me how I knew it was a girl. I’ll say that Astor told me and I’ll tell him everything else he said. He’ll go quiet before pulling me in for an emotional hug.

Later, he’ll show me texts my dad sent him.

Callum:A little girl. Congratulations. You know what mine means to me.

Callum:Looking forward to her future husband putting you through even one tenth of the shit you pulled with me. I know I’m going to enjoy the show.

Later, the crew will burst into my hospital room, crowd around my bed, fuss over me, and coo over Astra.

Rogue will lean in and whisper with a teasing smile, “Almost dying. A little dramatic of you, don’t you think?”

I’ll shove him off with a playful smile and he’ll kiss the top of my head, whispering that he’s happy I’m okay.

Rhys will hug me with one arm and warn Bellamy to keep Rhodes away from Ivy with the other. She’ll point out that he’s only four months old and he’ll say that it’s never too early to start distrusting a Royal.

Nera will cry when she sees me and a doctor will appear thirty seconds later and wrap a blood pressure cuff around herarm. She’ll be confused and Tristan will say that all this emotion can’t be good for her or their baby and he wants to make sure they’re both safe and healthy.

Later, my husband will take me and my daughter home. We’ll spend our first night on either side of her crib watching her sleep and commenting on every perfect little piece of her. In that one night, the trauma of Astra’s birth will be quickly forgotten and we’ll be deliriously happy.

But that’s later.

For now, I bask in the fact that I saw Astor. That I made it back to Phoenix.

That Ilived.

***

Seven years after graduation

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