Page 33 of Broken

“He needs rest. You can come back when you have both calmed down. There will be no arguing while I am here. Now I have to change his bandages again because you getting him all agitated and worked up has caused some to start to weep.” Before Ryder even has a chance to reply, she is frog marching him out of the room. For a tiny woman, she has some fight behind her and she just earned herself one hell of a bonus. I hear the door slam and then feel her perch on the other side of the bed. I’m tempted to turn my head to look at her but I’m comfy like this and I think it will just hurt like a bitch.

“Now, you need to rest. Stop getting yourself so worked up. Plenty of time for arguing when you are back to full fitness. I am going to give you something to help you sleep. You will heal better and faster while you are asleep, plus you won't have to deal with the pain. Is that ok?” she asks gently. She has a kindness about her that I’m sure I don’t deserve. I don’t like the idea of her essentially drugging me to sleep until I’m healed, but I do know it's the fastest option, and the most painless.

“I agree, but only if you pass on these messages to people for me first. I have to keep things running while you make me into sleeping beauty after all.” She chuckles at my comment but agrees. It's not long before everything is fading into black.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Ava

Over a week has passed since I travelled home in a car with an unconscious and bleeding Grant. When Ryder found me after I had been for a walk with Mindy, I couldn’t be more glad to get away. She was so delusional and fake, going on and on about what a beautiful wedding I would have and how happy I will be. Like I don't see the excessive amount of concealer she is wearing on her right cheek, or that her eyes look sunken and dark, like the colour has been dimmed from them completely. She looks like a doll because that’s how she has been taught to be and she behaves exactly how is expected. All I can think when she speaks is that this is what Grant expects from me. This is what he wants to make me into and the thought repulses me. She is so scared, she has thrown away the person she used to be and now just exists, I don’t want that. This is like seeing a glimpse into my future and all it has done is made me more determined than ever to get the fuck away from Grant Blakeman.

When Ryder finds me, he is covered in blood and I start to panic, my eyes roam over his whole body to see where his injury has come from, but I find nothing. He grabs hold of my hand and flutters travel through my heart. Has he finally fought for me? Here I am, dreaming about wanting to get free, has he done it for me?

He politely says goodbye to Mindy and I do the same as he drags me quickly towards the front door. The car is already waiting with Vic on the driver’s side. Ryder opens the car door and I see Grant, laying across the seats on his stomach, covered in blood. All the blood makes my stomach turn and I find myself feeling worry on his behalf before I push that away. How can I feel sorry for a man who has made no effort to hide his desire to hurt me?

“Please just get in the car, Ava. We have to leave right now.” The urgency in Ryder’s voice snaps me out of the trance I seem to have found myself in. But as I move towards the entrance, I don’t know where to sit as Grant is taking up the whole of the back seat.

“I will lift him slightly for you to slide in and he will have to lay with his head against your leg. I’m sorry, Ava. I have to sit up front, on guard.” He moves his hand towards his gun as he says this and I know that I have no room to argue. The idea of having this man’s bloody head in my lap is pure torture.

I do as Ryder says and once Grant’s head is rested in my lap, I feel a whole range of emotions. I look down at his mottled body and what I see horrifies me. His back is almost shredded to pieces. It looks like someone has clawed at it and pulled away at the edges of skin. There is blood seeping out and Grant appears to have passed out. Maybe he’s even in shock, which wouldn’t be surprising with these injuries.

I can see a very ragged and sparse rise and fall of his chest, so he is breathing, even if he is struggling and it’s not as often as it should be. I am no nurse, but I am guessing that he has lost a lot of blood, the pain will have been too much for his body to cope with and he will have passed out from shock or pain.

I don’t need Ryder to tell me that Grant was beaten with a belt by his father, that much was obvious, but what I don’t understand is why. Looking down at Grant laying in my lap, he looks so small. All I can see is a little boy who has been beaten half to death by his father. It’s not hard to miss the excessive amount of old scars littered across Grant's body and I know that this is not the first time this has happened to him. None of this excuses what he has done to me and I will never forgive him, but staring at him now, I think I understand him a little more. My heart bleeds for the little abused boy who should never have known this much pain and suffering at the hands of a man who should have loved him. I can’t imagine my papa ever laying a hand on me. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

The drive back to the house is long and I keep telling Ryder he needs to go to a hospital and he keeps telling me we can’t. Once we arrive at the house, there are men waiting with a stretcher and medical equipment, they lift him out and a man, whom I assume to be a doctor, with a stethoscope around his neck, shouts orders at everyone as he instructs them to lead him quickly into the office. I sat there shaking, covered in Grant's blood and frozen to the spot. I hate what happened to him and I hate that I feel any kind of sorrow for the shit who hurt me. Then, as I see Ryder crouch down in front of the car, just the two of us as everyone else has taken Grant in, it hits me like a lightning bolt and a smile spreads across my lips. My heart starts to race and I take hold of one of Ryder’s hands with my own, which is shaking from adrenaline.

“This is it, Ryder. This is our opportunity. You have to let me go now. I can drive off in the car and be free. You can come with me. We can get far away from this place and be together. Please, Ryder. Help me.” I plead with him, laying my soul bare and showing him how desperately I need to get out of this situation. His gaze drops from mine and he stares at the ground. His mouth is not turned into a smile that matches my own, instead he’s grimacing. He looks to be in pain, but I know what he is going to say. I drop his hand and my heart breaks.

“I’m sorry, Ava. I have orders. I will keep you safe, but you have to come inside.” He looks up at me now with pleading eyes. He is asking me to walk into Hell with him just because he has orders to follow. He can fuck off if he thinks I am going that easy.

I lash out at him with a war cry, kicking and punching in an effort to get Ryder far enough away that I can close the car door and scramble into the front seat. The engine is still running. Vic is obviously expecting someone to move the car, but it’s perfect for my getaway. All I have to do is get Ryder away. If he won’t let me leave, I have to make him. My initial punches and kicks catch him off guard and he refuses to fight back, instead shouting and trying to reason with me. But he has no good explanation as to why I would willingly go back into that Hell hole and he knows it. He ends up restraining me, throwing me over his shoulder, and carrying me to my room, where he locked me in.

Every day since then, Ryder has brought me food and tried to get me to talk, and every day I have ignored him. I stay in my room, talking to no one and enjoying the fully stocked Kindle that he gave me on the first day. I may not want to talk to him, but I would be bored stupid sitting here all the time by myself. Of course, I wasn’t going to throw that back in his face.

The third day was different because Ryder was firmer. He came into the room and he stood differently. I could tell that this time he was talking to me as Grant’s employee, not as my Ryder. Not that there was amyRyder anymore. That ship sailed when he refused to free me. He instructs me I’m needed down in the dining room on Grant’s orders. I’m tense and not afraid to admit I’m more than a little scared of facing Grant. I know there is no way he can have recovered from that beating this quickly, so he will be weak, but I’m also sure he will blame me for his father beating him. He always seems to blame me.

Walking into the dining room, I’m shocked to see it’s not Grant sitting there, but instead it's an older lady with a bright grey perm. She looks to be in her late sixties and is dressed in an outfit that looks exactly like those that the queen wears, she even has a matching handbag. Looking at her smiling at me, she actually does look like a younger version of the Queen of England and I can’t help but smile.

“Hello, Ava. Please come and sit, my name is Daphne. I am here to go over the plans for the wedding with you.” Just like that, any like I might have had for this woman flew out of the window. I hear a groan from Ryder over in the corner of the room and I shoot him an evil look. He doesn’t get to be pissed off about this, he’s the reason I am still here. I am the one who gets to be pissed off.

“I’m sorry, Daphne. You have travelled all this way for nothing. I am not getting married,” I explain to the sweet old lady who is smiling at me like this should be one of the happiest events ever. But then her face changes and it contorts into something ugly. Her sweet, queen-like smile is replaced with a sneer as she looks down her nose at me. The change is such that she honestly looks like a different person and I have flashes in my head as I think about the Evil Queen who turns into the old hag in Snow White and that is exactly what has happened here. I should have known that nobody good would ever work for the Blakeman’s.

“Well, dear, if that is the case then Mr. Blakeman has told me that we should instead plan your father’s funeral.” This time it’s my turn to growl and I hear Ryder take steps towards us. No doubt he thinks that I am about to launch myself at this old hag, and I have to admit, the thought did cross my mind. I try to calm my breathing down but my heart won't be slowed down. This is what I agreed to. If I don’t marry Grant, Papa will die. I have seen so much death and destruction whilst I have been with Grant, that I know he will not hesitate to go through with it. But when I said yes originally, there was always a part of me that thought it would never happen for real. That something would stop it. I hoped that my knight in shining armour would ride in and rescue me, but that’s never going to happen. Instead, the knight is the one holding me prisoner. I sigh deeply, resigning myself to my fate. I feel a numbness settle over me as I lock away everything that makes me Ava. All my quirks, all my fight, and I lock it into a box. I vow that one day, I will set old Ava free, but for now, I have to switch off if I want to survive. I realise now why Mindy acts like the perfect doll, it's so she doesn't have to think or feel. In her mind, she is probably somewhere else, living the life she has always wanted to lead and that is exactly what I plan to do. Grant can marry my body, but my mind and soul will be locked far away from him.

The days pass in a blur.I spend time with Daphne, planning the wedding, talking about flower arrangements and cake like it is the most exciting thing in the world. Because it is, in the little world I have created for myself. I continue to be pleasant to everyone and act like the lady of the house would be expected to behave. I exercise, I read my Kindle and the days pass just fine.

Every day, Ryder tries to talk to me and every day, he gets more exacerbated by my response. Apparently, he wants to talk to Ava, not the robot version he is presented with. My heart that is firmly caged away still aches for Ryder. I can’t deny that when his fingers touch my skin, it feels like electricity and my heart starts to race. In the darkness of the night, when the whole world is sleeping, that's when I allow my fantasies to take over. I allow my brain a small time to travel back to that night, the best one of my entire life. I remember the way he touched me and the way my body responded. I basked in the words he spoke to me when he made me feel beautiful or when he was talking dirty to me. I allow my stomach to cramp, my thighs to clench and my core to heat up. It feels like he is really here with me and for that short amount of time, my body feels alive. My nerves are crackling and I feel like all of my skin is on fire as I let my thoughts return to the way he made my body come to life. He played me like I was an antique instrument that only he knew how to make sing. I gently allow my fingers to slide between my folds and as I circle my clit, I imagine it’s him. I call out his name in my head as I crumble into oblivion in the same way that he made me do several times over. Then I allow myself to fall apart for just one moment and I silently sob. Pleasure still hums in my veins, but it is being forced out by the pain and sadness. I long for a better life, one far away from here, but I don’t allow myself to hope. That died the night I realised Ryder would never choose me over his orders.

The next morning I wake up the same as always, but something feels different. Ryder is not in my room that morning. Normally, he comes in every morning when I wake up to try and get me to talk to him, but not today. This instantly sets my nerves on edge and I dress quickly to go down for breakfast. As soon as I enter the dining room, I know why Ryder didn’t come to my room, he is already seated at the dining table next to Grant.

Grant looks pale and has dark circles around his eyes, his movements seem slower and more reserved than normal, but his face is still the same. He still wears the same sadistic sneer that he always seems to have when he looks at me. Ryder has tried over the last week to tell me Grant isn’t really a bad guy, that he has reasons for acting the way that he does, but it’s all just a fucking excuse. I know that I have never done anything to hurt him and therefore, he should have no reason to want to hurt me. That’s what it boils down to for me. Simple. Black and white.

“Morning, Ava. How are you today?” Grant taunts at me. He gets pleasure in tormenting me, but what he doesn’t realise is that things have changed. He is no longer dealing with Ava, instead it’s who Ryder has so eloquently named, Robot Ava. If Grant brought me here to play a role, then I damn well am going to play it good.

“Oh, Grant, darling, I am so glad to see that you are up and about. I have been so worried about you. Haven’t I, Ryder?” I say in the most cheery fifties housewife style that I can muster up. As I practically run over to him and kiss him on the cheek before I take my seat next to him, opposite Ryder at the table.

I can see the matching look of shock on both Ryder and Grant’s face, and inside, I am laughing. When I was coming towards him, I saw Grant tense up and Ryder shifted forward, they genuinely both thought I was going to attack him. They never expected this, but this is exactly what Grant wanted. Ryder mutters some confirmation at my question whilst still staring at me like I have two heads. So, I carry on.

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