Page 61 of Black Wedding

“Thank you, I have no idea what to say. I didn’t know Bree was pregnant, and I’m not convinced she knew either, but I still feel like something has been stolen from us. Can she get pregnant again when the time is right?” I ask, hopeful.

“I am very hopeful, yes. However, it may prove a little difficult as we had to remove one of her ovaries because of the damage. Nevertheless, she could get some help with IVF, if it is needed,” he explains, and I give him a small smile.

“I would sell a kidney if it meant her getting anything she ever wanted. Please, can I see her?” I joke and then ask, and he chuckles.

“Well, I don’t think I can legally take your kidney, but she is fortunate to have a man like you who would do anything for her. We are just getting her settled in intensive care. You can come in one at a time to see her,” he explains, and it’s my turn to smile.

“That’s where you are wrong. I’m the lucky one because I found her. I will be staying with her, the visitors won’t be a problem. We want her to rest and get better.”

“Okay, a nurse will be through shortly to show you where Bree is. She will probably sleep most of the night, but that’s what we want. We want her body to heal itself,” he explains before walking out of the waiting room.

I wake up the guys and fill them in on everything except the baby. Bree deserves to know that before everyone else. I need to make sure the nurses know that it is confidential information. I tell them about the one visitor rule and that it’s not up for negotiation. I am going in and not leaving that room until she does. If anyone else wants to visit then they will have to break the one visitor rule, I will not compromise. Paddy tuts when I tell him that and storms out to find someone in charge. He will either throw money at someone, or he will threaten them. Either way, he will get what he wants. When he eventually returns, he confirms that Bree will have extended visiting allowed during the day only. I smile at his confidence.

The same nurse who hugged me earlier is back for her second shift, and she walks me to see Bree. I politely ask Paddy to give me a few minutes alone with her, and he agrees.

Walking into the room and seeing my flame-haired Princess looking so battered and bruised, not to mention so incredibly small on the hospital bed, breaks my heart. I sit down beside her and gently take her hand in mine. She doesn’t respond in any way, but I don’t care. I just want to be near her. So I talk to her. I tell her about all the shit that went down. I tell her as many times as I can that I love her and that I can’t fucking wait to make a life with her.

Time passes a lot quicker with her nearby. Everyone we know and love comes by to visit. The only one I had a problem with was her mother, but she assures me she had no idea what Vernon and Jimmy were planning. She only realised when it was too late, and by then, she was terrified of Vernon. I warned her that I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t kill her husband. She said neither could she. So I let her in. She didn’t stay long, uncomfortable with the silence.

Everyone who came spoke to her and tried to lure her into waking up. Hell, even my dad threatened her, but she still didn’t wake. Finally, nighttime came around, and the nurses stopped asking me if I wanted to go home. I don’t want to be anywhere that Bree isn’t. They turned down Bree’s sedative a few hours ago. The nurses thought she should be awake by now, so they called in the same doctor from last night, the specialist who operated on her.

In the meantime, having lost feeling in my ass about four hours ago, I very carefully, as to not hurt Bree at all or pull out any of her leads, climb into the bed beside her. I slide my arm under her head and around her shoulders, positioning her body up against mine. I hate feeling her so limp against me, but at least she is still alive.

Stroking the hair off her cheek and tucking it behind her ears, I gently pepper her face with kisses before telling her how much I love her. I need to tell her for real, while she is awake. I must have got very comfortable because I fell asleep, until suddenly someone coughs and startles me awake. I look at the girl in the bed next to me, and once the coughing stops, all I see is the most beautiful girl in the world. I reach over with my free hand, grabbing her water glass, and put in the straw to help her take tiny sips.

“Hey, beautiful,” I smile at her, probably the biggest, most genuine smile I have ever had.

“I missed our wedding,” she says with a hoarse cry, and literal tears streaming down her face.

“We can do it anytime you want, Princess. I am all yours forever,” I stress, making sure she knows how much I care for her.

“I heard you, you know,” she states, and I wonder what she is talking about. “I love you, too.” Her words go straight to my heart and make it grow impossibly larger.

Leaning down, I press my lips against hers but am careful not to press too hard given all her injuries. We sit together like that for hours. We talk, she sleeps, and she gets better, but most importantly, we get to laugh together. I have lost count of the amount of times I have told her that I love her, but I can tell you now, I won’t ever stop. She deserves to have me tell her this for eternity, and I plan to.

We touch briefly on the decision she had to make regarding Vernon and Jimmy. She says she wants to work that out when she gets home, but for now, she wants to concentrate on getting better. We also decide to use these few days to make sure we organise and, even better, a more personal wedding than before. You see, we are still desperate to marry each other, and we sure as shit don’t want to wait. Life is short, and almost losing Bree helped me to see that.

Now I just need to find the right moment to tell her about the baby.

I’m woken by the strangest sensation. It’s like I am not really in my body. Instead, I’m watching from above. Like my brain is awake but my body isn’t. The beeping from a nearby machine feels as though it is ricocheting through my brain. Each beep causes me a new boost of pain.

My whole body feels stiff, as though I have been in the same position for far too long. I try to move, but I can’t. I feel like I am completely numb all over. This is such a surreal experience, but I am ready for it to be over. I want to...no, I need to wake up.

I try to force my eyelids open, or even just move a tiny little bit of my body, anything to know that I am still alive because right now, I’m not all that sure.

As I do a mental checklist of all the parts of my body, making sure to try them all, I am distracted by a voice.Hisvoice.

“Morning, Princess. So it’s another day; I don’t even know what to talk to you about. The nurses say that I should talk to you the same as I do at home because they don’t know if you really can hear me. Fuck, I hope you can hear me. I hope my voice is waking you up and that you come back to me. I miss you so fucking much. I miss your laugh, you telling me to pick my clothes up when I leave them lying around, your touch…fuck, I miss how soft you are. Please, you have to wake up. I don’t know if I can live my life without you.” His voice feels so far away, but I can feel the pain and the heartbreak that echoes with every word.

I want him to know I am trying. I want to get back to our life...for him. I never knew that anything was missing in my life until I met Liam. It’s like there was a hole in my heart that I didn’t know anything about. But when I met him, I suddenly felt full. Like Liam completed me. I can’t believe I never got the chance to tell him I love him. I hear him say it all the time now. If only he’d told me while I was actually awake.

Time seems to continue like this for far too long. There are times when I can hear Liam. His voice soothes me like a child listening to a lullaby. That smell that is all Liam envelopes all around me and I can’t get enough. No matter how much breathing hurts, it’s worth it to inhale his intoxicating scent. There are times when I hear the voices of the people who mean the most to me, but I am so tired that I can’t focus on what they are saying. My heart swells just at the knowledge they have shown up for me, and I am desperate to get back to them.

I don’t know how long this routine continues, but each time I feel like I get a little closer to letting him know I am here. Every time I fail, every time they leave not knowing I can hear them, I become consumed with the idea that it won’t be long until Liam realises I’m a lost cause. I become convinced that it’s only a matter of time until he leaves me. Except that day never comes. If anything, I hear more discussion from others telling Liam that it isn’t healthy for him to remain in this room for too long. Still, he doesn’t leave. His hand never unlaces with mine.

After my last set of visitors for the day, Mia, Kellan, and Hallie, Liam sets in to tell me all about the gossip that I have missed. He lays on the bed with me, our hands clasped together, and for the first time in a long time, I feel warm. I would say it’s his body heat, but he has laid next to me every day since we first got here. The nurses have stopped telling him not to do it now, knowing which battles to pick.

Liam’s voice fills the room and it’s that soothing drawl I have come to depend upon. “I bet you are as shocked as me to see those two even being in the same room as each other after that shitshow of an interview. But weirdly, Kellan needed someone to look after Hallie while he helped me locate you, and he didn’t even blink. She was the person he called. I am sure they still argue, and Mia looks at Kellan with such frustration at times it’s laughable. I know if you were here, you would be telling me all about their sexual chemistry and how they might be good together, and I would give you a lecture that you do not meddle in our friends’ lives. Particularly their love lives. Hallie seems to really like her too. You know what that little demon is like. She is very picky with who she shows affection towards, but she seems to go to Mia with great ease. I’m just glad Kellan has help with Hallie while we are at work. There’s a really big fucking part of me that doesn’t want him to fuck her. He needs a nanny more than anything else. He has a tendency to just barge right in and not think about the consequences. I wish you were awake, baby. You need to see this and be involved in this. I really want to be able to tell you not to meddle right now.”

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