Page 63 of Black Wedding

“What about my father and Jimmy? I know you shot that asshole, Luther. Did he die?” I ask. My brain remembers him taking a shot between the eyes, but I don’t know how much is reality and how much is wishful thinking.

“He did die. A death too quick and good for him, if you ask me. I’m sorry I took that death away from you. As for your father and Jimmy, they’re still alive. Your father organised the whole thing. He wants the entire estate. He planned on taking Ireland from your Gramps and then forcing you to hand over London. He’s power-mad. Jimmy left you a video message, explaining his motives. You can watch it whenever you are ready. Your grandfather has them both secured in his house, waiting for when you are ready to pass judgement. When you feel up to it, you will get the London Family business signed over to you. As far as Vernon’s men are concerned, most saw what you went through and how you still came out strong, and they are rethinking their views on women. Most have come to pledge their allegiance, but I have Kellan vetting them first. I am so sorry, Princess. You had to get the shit kicked out of you so that people would see how fucking strong you are.” His statement is powerful, and it makes me feel about seven feet tall. Liam has this incredible ability to not only say the right things but to give me a confidence boost that I didn’t know I needed.

“My instinct is to put a bullet in both their brains,” I spit and Liam chuckles, causing my head to vibrate. With the added confidence he gave me, I sat up and turned to face him. His face is illuminated by the corridor lights and he looks more like Liam now. The messy beginnings of a beard have been replaced by the subtle splatterings of stubble that I am used to. The bags around his sunken eyes have also gone. They now look as bright and warm as they have always been.

“I will pass you the gun, Princess. It’s the least they deserve. But they are still your family. Nobody will think less of you if you decide to punish them in another way,” Liam adds with a smile. He acknowledges the tiny part of me that I tried to keep hidden. The little girl who has been let down by the two men who meant the most to her. How do I kill the people who helped raise me? But, do they really deserve to live?

I push that out of my mind but carry on the conversation, needing desperately to fill in more blanks. I know what I need to ask, but I’m terrified of finding out the answer. I take in a few deep breaths. The slight twinge I get from breathing in too deeply is just a regular occurrence now. I live for the pain, as it distracts me from the mental pain.

“Did he rape me?” I rush out, the words all mumbling together into one sentence, but I know Liam heard because he freezes. His hand that was stroking lazy circles around my thigh stopped its soothing motion. A rush of air releases from his mouth along with what sounds like a groan. Fuck, I don’t think I am going to like this answer. Flashes of Luther standing between my legs with his cock hanging out have been crippling my memory and driving my nightmares for the last two weeks. I need to know.

“No, not fully. I think he did use his fingers, and if I could break each and everyone that touched you, I would. I’m so sorry, Bree. You had some small tears from the force and scratches from his nails but no sign of full penetration. Something Vinnie confirmed. He said he will tell you anything you want to know,” Liam says so gently, but his words break me.

Tears flood my eyes, and no matter how much I try, I can’t keep them from falling. Liam tries to pull me into his arms without any trace of hesitation, but I pull away as the sobs overcome me. My whole body vibrates with pain as I cry for everything that happened.

“Don’t pull away from me, Princess. I am here. Let me be here for you,” Liam states, his face caring and steadfast. I struggle to believe that he doesn’t see me differently after what I have just been through.

“How are you not repulsed that someone else touched me?” I sob, holding my face in my hands as I desperately try to hide him from seeing my darkness.

“Brianna, look at me,” he states loudly, and I am shocked to hear him call me by my full name. I look up and see there is no pity in his eyes, only sadness. “I could never view you differently. No matter how many scars you have, physical or mental, they are your war wounds, and I am so fucking proud of you. You survived. That’s something a lot of people wouldn’t be able to do.”

His fingers lace through mine as I finally allow him to take my hands. The certainty on his face tells me he is very fucking serious. “I have a lot of scars,” I add, and his resulting chuckle makes me smile.

“Bree, there is something I haven’t told you about what happened. I wanted to make sure you were strong enough to hear it first. I’m sorry for keeping this from you, but please know I had your best intention at heart.” He looks so sombre, and I am starting to freak out, so I tell him to get on with it. “You were pregnant at the time of the attack. Just a few weeks along, but sadly the baby was too small to survive what your body went through. That sick fucker will burn in hell for taking something so precious from us, I promise you that.”

With each word he speaks, the pit in my stomach gets larger. My heart is racing, and I feel like I can’t catch my breath. The panic is overwhelming. I have suffered so much pain, but nothing can compare to the pain of hearing what he just told me. The tears fall freely, and I cry. Sobs wrack my body once more as Liam pulls me closer. I don’t need to see his tears to know they are there. I can feel the wetness leak onto my cheek. We both lost so much.

I’m not sure how long we just hold each other, but the tears dry up with time. Now that I know everything, I can compartmentalise it all. I know what issues I need to deal with and what I can put to bed here and now. I don’t think I will ever get over having a baby taken from me, that’s a pain I never want to experience again. But even as the loss begins to consume me, I know that with Liam by my side, we will get through this. Not to forget, but to learn to live again.

That’s when I remember the vow I made while I was unconscious. The one promise I made that I fully intend to keep. Pulling my head off his chest, I lean close to Liam, our faces so close I can feel his breath. “I wanted to tell you this on our wedding day, but better late than never. I love you, Liam Doughty. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am so fortunate that I will be your wife, and when we do decide to have a baby, I know how much it will be loved. You will be an amazing father. I love you,” I say and mean every word.

“Fuck, I have waited forever to say those words to you. I love you too, Bree. I can’t wait until we are ready to have a little flame-haired mini-princess who looks just like her beautiful mother. I can’t wait to marry you, Bree. This time, we will make it down the aisle,” he jokes, and I can’t help but laugh. The irony is that we never wanted a real wedding. Who knew that a marriage of convenience that stemmed from a kidnapping could become the real deal?

“You did tell me. I heard you tell me it every day. Those were the words that helped me fight every day to get back to you,” I explain, and without missing a beat, Liam pulls me in for a searing kiss. This is so much more than the chaste kisses he has been giving me since I woke up. This is desperate and heady, and my arms cling to him, desperate for more. I open my mouth, giving him the access his tongue demands, and I let him take what he wants. Ignoring the bruising and the pain, I pull him even closer, desperately craving his touch.

Just as things are about to go a whole lot further, the distant sound of a hospital call bell reminds us of exactly where we are, and I start to laugh. I feel like naughty school girl, doing something she knows she shouldn’t be, but fuck does it feel so right. I can’t wait to be discharged home. It’s time for me and Liam to start our lives together.

The text from Gramps yesterday confirmed that as soon as I’m out of the hospital and well enough, the running of London is mine. I have already been announced as leader. My Gramps is sending his young prodigy Kian O’Shay over from Cork to help me and Liam learn the business. He has been training under my Gramps for a while. He is loyal enough to want to help rather than take the lead. From what I have heard, he could be a good right-hand man, if I can trust him. Kellan is running a thorough check for me. I want all the information before I meet him.

I know I need to deal with my dad and Jimmy, and they will be dealt with when the time is right. But for now, I plan on going home and being with Liam. We have another wedding to plan. This time, there will be no announcements, and no big frills. Just me and Liam, and our closest family. I want to start my life with him, and I am done waiting.

I am ready to stand tall, to show all the people who don’t think I am capable that I can fucking rule. Liam will stand by my side as we declare our love to the world, then once we are married, he will stand by my side in business too. I thought I just needed him to get what I wanted and be given the power, which is still valid. I definitely could rule without him, but I don’t want to. He makes me stronger, better. If I was forced to be reckoned with before, then together we are unstoppable.

Ican’t believe that the time has finally come, yet again, only this time I know, we will come out of it together. Having Bree back home for the last few weeks has been a challenge. The girl has no idea what the word rest means. She constantly wants to be doing something. Kellan and I have literally been following her around, trying to do her jobs, or physically making her sit down. Of course, having the wedding to plan has helped.

I‘m so incredibly proud of how she dealt with the pain she went through. I know there are still moments when darkness overcomes her, and she goes in on herself, focusing on the breathing techniques her counsellor taught her. She has been much better after having someone to talk to about how she feels.

I have to admit, as I pull on the suit jacket, which is different from last time, I can’t control the flashbacks that overtake me. The pain I felt waiting at the end of the aisle, only for her to not show. The photo we have of the moment, the artificially created version, is one that we both still hold onto. It might not be our wedding day, but it’s still a day that has great significance to us. Most people wouldn’t want to remember that kind of trauma, but we do. We want to own it and use it.

This wedding is entirely different to the last. We are getting married in a large barn that has been decorated full of black and white flowers. It looks beautifully gothic. Nobody knew the location until I texted it to them this morning. They were all told a rough area, but we wanted the location to be secret. But standing here now, as I look over at the people sitting around me, I can see that everyone made it.

As I am looking over the people who we both love, and wanted to have here, I quickly realise that we can’t have it set up like this. Finn, my usher, has asked people to sit either on the bride’s side or the groom’s, depending on who they knew. But all I can see is the people missing from Bree’s side, which is why I tell people to spread out.

Paddy is seated on Bree’s side, along with his wife, Clodagh. She suffers from bad arthritis, and we didn’t know if she would be able to make the journey from Ireland, but I know Bree will be pleased she came. Next to him is Kian, the new kid from Cork who has been sent to help Bree and me learn the ropes. He seems like a nice kid, a bit rough around the edges, which is a given in our world. My good thoughts about him disappear rapidly when I catch him eying up my sister Freya. He’s fighting a losing battle there. Freya is not interested in guys like him. She’s always telling me there is no way in hell she will end up with a guy from our world. She will meet a good guy someday, that’s what she deserves.

When I say I want more people to sit on Bree’s side, Vinnie, or Shane, as he is now called, instantly stands to move to her side. Ryleigh doesn’t hesitate in moving over to sit with Shane. They have become really close since he started attending Ryleigh’s school. I’m pleased that he has someone he can call a friend. He had to leave his entire Marcushio life behind, but at least with Ryleigh, he will never need to lie. Kellan jokes that they will end up together, but I don’t think so. Ryleigh seems to want to give me a heart attack with her choice of assholes. Shane is too much of a good kid for her.

Finn, Evan, and Kellan remain sitting over on my side; they are my groomsmen, after all. Mia stands from her place next to Kellan and goes to sit next to Ryleigh. I watch as Kellan’s eyes follow her every move. It’s obvious how he feels, and I would be astonished if she didn’t feel the same way too. But at the same time, Mia has a secret, and we don’t know what it is. Until Kellan finds out, he will never trust her implicitly, which is what he needs for any relationship to work.

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