Page 21 of Life Lessons

Her face drops as memories assault her, as if she thought she’d been doing a great job at keeping it all a secret. Raising my hand slowly, I tilt her head up to look back at me. I can physically see her emotions swirling inside, the dam she’s erected around herself beginning to crack and crumble. Suddenly, I want to know it all. No holding back, I want every truth of what has broken such a fiercely independent person such as her. To know what makes her tick, what makes her laugh.

“My sister,” her voice barely whispers. “My twin.” There’s a wobble in her tone, those words are her undoing. I feel her sorrow lash through me as strongly as my own and I remove the coffees in our hands before pulling her into me. Tears drip onto my bare chest as I brush her hair in a feeble attempt at soothing. The idea of a hypocrite like me, who hates the world for his pain, is trying to fix such a loss with a few simple strokes is laughable. Yet it’s all I can do. I realize now how helpless others must have felt when trying to comfort me, and I made matters worse by snapping at them for it.

“My dad,” is all I can reply. Nothing else needs to be said, our truths out there for the other to acknowledge and that in itself seems like enough. Not to heal or change, but to know someone else in this shitty life understands a fraction of the pain we’ve endured. I ease her head up to place a kiss on her temple, needing to feel that connection. Only briefly, because the notion that this might continue is beyond ridiculous. I’ll give myself this moment.

I lose track of time, my body slipping downwards to mould around hers until a knock sounds at my door. Nightingale flies off the mattress as quickly as I do, my nakedness forgotten as I dive to the floor in search of some sweats. I turn to see Nightingale stripping and hiss to know what she’s doing, until she steps out of my sweatpants and chucks them at me in a bundle. She’s been wearing them this whole time?! I’m so fucking distracted by this girl, I didn’t even recognize my own pants.

Dragging them on, the knock sounds again, more persistent this time. I turn to tell her to hide, only to find myself completely alone in my bedroom. Not pausing to look for her, I cross my apartment and throw the door open with a bark.

“Who the fuck is ruining my morning?!” My eyes fall on Trixie fucking Musgrove, her expression venomous as she stares right back at me.

“Where is she?!” Musgrove tries to barge her way in until I block her way with my body and a growl. “I know you walked Abbie home last night. I haven’t been able to get a hold of her since leaving the club and she wasn’t responding to my knocking, so I’ve had the maintenance guy open her door and guess what?! She’s not there, nor has she been since last night. I swear if you’ve taken advantage of her, I’ll—”

“Trix?” Nightingale asks, appearing in the main doorway in last night’s dress. Holding the two coffees in her hands, she edges closer on bare feet with her eyebrow raised. “What are you doing at Mr Caine’s this early in the morning? Oh my God, did you...did you have a nightcap with my Maths teacher?!” Trixie jolts away from me, stuttering and blubbering while all I can do is reign in my amusement. She’s a sly one, I’ll give her that. I’ll have to keep an eye on her antics. Oh wait—no, no I won’t. I’ll look anywhere she isn’t from now on.

“As if!” Musgrove blurts. “I thought you were with him.” Nightingale scoffs a little too convincingly, handing her friend my damn coffee.

“Give me some credit. I spent the night with that douche canoe you set me up with. He was a complete asshole by the way so don’t ever set me up again, but at least he was hung like a horse.” I groan, the mental image of her with that cunt, or anyone else for that matter, filling me with an instant rage. My hard-on drops, my patience worn.

“Right, well, now that’s cleared up, get the fuck off my doorstep and think twice before making accusations, Musgrove. I have more self-respect than that.” I narrow my eyes at Nightingale before slamming the door closed between us. My heart is thrashing around in my chest, confusion making my head swim. I’m not sure if she just rejected me or I did her, or did it even happen at all? I hadn’t planned on consoling her, I’d planned to set some clear boundaries and move on with my life. Now everything’s fucked and I don’t know how I’m going to get through the weekend, never mind seeing her in class again.

Heading straight for the kitchen, I crouch before a cupboard and feel for my emergency weed stash taped to the back of the sink. Grabbing the whiskey on my way past, I ensure every window is firmly locked before dropping on the sofa with the resources I need for my self-destructive isolation for the next two days. If an answer doesn’t present itself to me through a fog of drink and drugs, then at least I’ll have a reprieve from my problems for a while. Right?

Fuck, that was too close a call for my liking. Not that I was thinking with my brain exactly when I decided to sleep with my Maths teacher, more like my vagina was leading the way on that one. But I definitely have no regrets. If I had been thinking it through all the way, I would have known how much of a risk it is for us both, more so for him. I will be labelled as the girl so fucking desperate for daddy’s attention that I seduced my teacher. But he is the one who will get the abuse, for breaking a position of trust, for seducing such a vulnerable young girl. It’s all bullshit. We both knew what we were doing. He may have been acting thanks to a little Dutch courage from all the alcohol he drank, but I think that was what he needed, combined with his jealousy, to finally make a move.

When I heard Trixie banging loudly on Jett’s door the next morning, I could have killed her. Of course, I stuck around to see if we could go again. I’m so fucking addicted. It’s like he’s a new drug and I am just desperate for my next hit. Literally. What worries me more is that she knew I would be there. Looks like my gossiping bestie, who appears all fun and carefree, pays a lot more attention than I thought. I will have to be very careful in the future. It’s not that I don’t trust her, but there’s more than just my life on the line here.

After she follows me back to my room, throwing hundreds of questions my way, all about last night, and the guy I went home with. I finally get a small break from her while she allows me to shower, but she still doesn’t leave. Taking my dress off, I almost feel a bit sad, like I’m removing the last piece of evidence that the night actually happened and showering will wash it all away. But I don’t want to forget and I sure as fuck do not plan to move on. How the hell can I go back to dating assholes, like that prick from last night, when I know that someone like Jett is out there?

Looking up at the mirror, I smile the brightest smile I’ve had for a long time when staring at myself in the mirror. All along my clavicle and the lower part of my neck are little hickies, and they all lead to the bite mark left by Jett on my shoulder. The couple that will be visible above my t-shirt, I can cover with foundation, but the rest I will know are there, no matter how many times I shower. He marked me, and now I’m keeping him.

After I shower and dress quickly, I throw on whatever I can find and return to Trixie, who asks what I want to do. Loaded question because what I want to do is go downstairs and sit on my Maths teacher’s big, hard cock until I fall into oblivion, but since I’m guessing that isn’t an option, I ask what she has in mind.

“So, you know how there is the practice sports day coming up next weekend before the real thing next term? Well, I need to take part in a couple of events. I need the extra credit after I missed a few classes. Now, obviously there’s a lot I am not good at, so I am thinking anything with a partner or team would be good, but all the partner shit is for a boy and a girl,” she says and I have no idea where her fucking loopy brain is going with this one.

“Get to the point, Trix,” I say, as I look around for my phone.

“So I need to find a guy to be my partner in the medley event,” she says, but her eyes refuse to meet mine. She looks even more flakey than she normally does, and that has me suspicious.

“What aren’t you telling me, Trixie?” I ask, fearing her response.

“Okay, so the medley is enough events to get me my points, but they need a certain number of sign ups to run it. Sam and Danny told me that participation in these events was lower than they expected, so it might not happen. But when I signed up they only needed one more to make the minimum number. So you need to find a partner too, as I signed you up,” she says, sheepishly.

At least she looks nervous because the audacity of this girl is unreal. If I wanted to take part in sporting events, I would. Fuck, Trix doesn’t know I used to do gymnastics, and I plan for it to stay that way. There’s no way I am competing in any event that requires me to bare my leg.

“Not happening, Trix. I’m sorry but you need to unsign me up because I am not doing it. What events do you even do in a mixed-sex medley?” I ask, confused as to why the hell I am even asking. There is no fucking way I am participating in a sporting event.

“So, it’s five events. The first is a three legged race, second a wheelbarrow race, third is a test of endurance as to who can hold their partner over their head the longest, fourth is a trampoline event, and finally there’s a bike ride followed by a sprint finish and you decide which one does the bike and who does the sprint. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?” she asks, staring at me with a pleading expression.

“No!” I retort, stubbornly. It actually does sound fun, and I don’t want to admit that my mind instantly goes to Jett and how long he could hold me above his head. He did a pretty fucking amazing job of holding me up whilst he fucked me last night. But, of course, I’m not going to be able to partner with him.

“Don’t be so grumpy. I thought sex would have put you in a much better mood,” she teases and all I can do is stick my tongue out at her. I don’t even want to go down the route of her asking me more questions about the sex last night. I hate lying to her, but it’s for her own good.

She smiles at me, like she has a pretty good idea why I really am avoiding the issue, she did arrive at his doorstep with a very clear idea that I would be there after all. So, I know I have to throw myself into this sports thing. At least I can get some time away from Jett to clear my mind, and work on a good game plan for how I am going to hold onto him, because it’s as clear as day that he plans to run from this. It’s a good thing I don’t mind chasing him.

“Fine, so what do we need to do?” I ask her with a smile that I am sure can only appear fake.

“I’m glad you asked. We need partners, and not just any partners. I need someone who can do most of the work because there’s a bloody reason I have missed so much PE. There’s only one place we will find jocks this time of day…in the cafeteria,” she exclaims, pulling me up as we go.

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