Page 34 of Life Lessons

Trixie grabs hold of my hand and squeezes to get my attention. But as she starts to speak, her and all the people around me are drowned out by Harriett and her high pitched voice.

“You all need to know that you are living and going to school with a murderer,” she screeches.

My world stills and I literally don’t know what to do. I’m looking around for Jett, desperately pleading in my head that I can find him, or that he finds me. He is the only one who can send my darkness away, and I have a feeling that now everyone knows my secret, it’s not going to be an easy task.

“But she isn’t just any old murderer. This cold hearted bitch went one step further, she murdered her own twin sister. Maybe it was jealousy, or maybe they had a fight. All I know is that if she is willing to murder her own sister, a twin no less, then none of us are safe. I, for one, am insisting that Abbie Night—or Nightingale, if we use her real name—be expelled and kept as far away from us as possible. Her father may have been rich enough to buy off the authorities, but he is not rich enough to buy us all off. Get Abbie out, is my message!”

Her words echo all around me as stupid people who know nothing about me start repeating the chant of “Get Abbie out!” Trix looks up at me with a confused expression and I can see her mouth moving, no doubt asking the questions I should have given her answers to long ago. All I can hear is a desperate ringing in my ears as my heart races. I can feel myself starting to panic.

Risking a look around, I see all eyes in the nearby vicinity are on me, and some have started to point me out to others. If I stay here it will start a fucking lynch mob and I need to get away from all these people. Their knowing stares, and guilty judging faces haunt me. Without even thinking or looking back, I stand up and I run.

“Still no sign?” I call, dodging tree trunks to catch up with Musgrove. She shakes her head solemnly, her bubbly attitude a distance memory. Through the walls of my metal tomb, I heard everything. What Harriett said, how she implied Abbie was responsible for her twin’s death. This only made me angrier until a cloud of red mist descended and I slammed my fist on the iron door until my knuckles split. An electrician passing through the service tunnels heard my protests and finally let me out, but it was too late. The event has been ruined, Danny and Sam are livid, but most importantly, Abbie is missing.

We continue to walk hastily, having been to Abbie’s flat, the dorms, the cafeteria, my classroom. Now we’re scouring the woods while I sneakily keep an eye on my bedroom window at the back of the teacher’s accommodation. Every moment she’s not in my arms, my heart squeezes tighter until I’m on the verge of a heart attack. But I can’t let it show. So instead, I crush my nails into my palms until they are littered with tiny crescent-shaped marks. A twig snaps to my left, making me spin around, but it’s only Harley looking for his lost sports partner. The word partner in my own head makes me want to punch him in the face for being able to get so close to Abbie in public, but I restrain myself. It’s not his fault I’ve set myself up for self-destruction.

“I’ve looked everywhere I can think of,” Harley mutters. Tugging at his curly blonde hair, he looks like a wounded puppy and it’s in that moment I realize, he cares about her. Maybe not in the way I do, but as a friend for sure. And if there’s one thing Abbie needs right now, it’s the knowledge she is not alone. She has a support group here, a friendship circle she can rely on.

“Okay, let’s stop and regroup.” Musgrove takes charge. “She wouldn’t have left campus because she refuses to drive. She could have run to town but I don’t think she’d have wanted to be around people right now.”

“Unless it was a tattooist,” Harley perks up. The two share a eureka moment look, but I’m not convinced. From what she’s told me during our midnight chats, Abbie puts a lot of thought into her tattoos and placements. She’s not the type to get a generic image recklessly inked onto her for life. The pair are busy discussing who’s car to take while I stare out into the woodlands, deep in thought.

I’m not hurt that Abbie wasn’t waiting in my bedroom like I’d expected. After all, she could have been, but I wasn’t released by the engineer in time to find her there so she moved on. It wasn’t like I could spend long investigating with Musgrove right outside the door and me darting around on the pretence of changing clothes. But if she didn’t run to mine and I’m to believe Musgrove that Abbie isn’t sitting on her bed while she gives me the run around, where else would she go? It’d have to be somewhere private yet comfortable for her to grieve all over again.

“I have another idea,” I interrupt the conversation happening around me. I fight to hide my eye roll, wondering why I didn’t think to check there sooner. But I don’t need prying eyes lingering when I eventually find her. “You two check out the tattoo parlour, I’ll head this way.”

“Wait!” Musgrove shouts as I’ve already begun moving. Turning back, my hands twitch impatiently. “Abbie won’t want to talk to her professor at a time like this; she needs a friend. Harley can go to town and I’ll come with you.” I share a look with Harley, keeping my poker face firmly in place. Shit, I’ve been so caught up in searching for Abbie, I had almost forgotten I’m not just another concerned party. I need to play this calmly, as if I’m merely acting out of duty.

“Believe it or not, I know something about grief whereas you don’t. Rather than a friend who encourages her to skip class for fun or shopping, she might prefer to speak with a professor who can relate to what she’s going through.” Musgrove’s narrowed eyes seem to see straight through me, her feet eating up the distance between us.

“That was one time,” she tuts, barging me with her shoulder. “Let’s go.” I huff loudly, stomping my feet and expecting her to follow. Finding Abbie is my priority, but I’d much prefer to do it alone. Musgrove likes to squeal and exaggerate and shit. That’s not what Abbie needs. What she needs is me, and only me. Traipsing through the woodland, we breach the tree line and Musgrove hangs back to wait for me.

“Why are you so concerned about her anyway?” she asks curiously. I avoid her gaze, veering left to head back into the main campus. “I’ve seen you sit in your classroom whilst full-blown fights have been happening in front of your desk and you’ve been more interested in the flavour of your coffee. What makes Abbie any different?”

That is the million dollar question. What makes her different from all the others? Is it because beneath her sharp tongue and sassy attitude, she has the intelligence to keep up in my class as well as keep our conversations flowing. I look forward to relaxing and talking to her almost as much as the sex. And fuck, the sex!

How can one woman still have me drooling after I’ve had her in every position possible all over my apartment? I had to order a gag to block out the majority of her screams as my dick is buried to the hilt inside her. I keep wondering when I’ll start to lose interest, but the opposite is happening. Most of all, I feel strange when she’s not around. Like a part of me is missing and the coldness inside starts to filter back in until the next time.

Breaching the tree line of the woodlands, Musgrove stays glued to my side as we pass the teacher accommodation. I lead her across campus, meandering the long way in hopes she’ll get bored and decide I don’t know where Abbie is. I don’t have such luck, the annoying multi-coloured pixie cut head sticking with me all the way to the music block. As expected, I can hear the mournful sound of a soul being poured into the keys of a piano. Ignoring the side eye hitting the side of my face, I throw the main door open and duck inside before Musgrove can.

Sprinting up to the second floor, I stop on the outside of the glass partition and see Abbie sitting inside. A moment passes where I can only stare. I remember the day I found her here for the first time, because it was the moment I realized there was so much more to Abbie Nightingale than her last name. If I’m being really honest with myself, it’s possibly the moment I began to fall for her.

Just like the last time, she’s cross legged on the piano stool, her shoulders slumped. Having taken her hair out of the messy bun I last saw it in, the electric blue and black waves cover her back. She’s playing lazily with one hand, her voice quiet and crackled with emotion as she sings softly. Opening the door without a sound, I creep inside.

“So you just, save a place for me. Save a place for me. I’ll be there soon...” Her beautiful, haunting voice sings the same Matthew West song I’ve heard her singing in her darkest moments. The times when she wishes she could be with Tille the most.

Lowering down onto the bench with my back to the keys, I remain conscious of Musgrove appearing on the other side of the glass. This is exactly why I’d tried to ditch her so many times on the way. I knew my instincts would be screaming to draw Abbie into my lap and let her cry every last tear into the crook of my neck. Instead, I fumble my thumbs awkwardly.

“Harriett will be expelled for this, I’ll see to it personal—”

“Where were you?” Her tone catches me off guard. Merely moments ago, Abbie seemed withdrawn and broken, but that’s not who is sitting next to me now. Back straight, level gazed, her voice as harsh as a whip. Shifting my body to block our spectator from view, I slyly try to take her hand but she flicks me away,

“I was locked in a damn cupboard, that’s where. Nothing but an iron door could have kept me from you when you needed me.” The words flow easily, the truth of them taking me aback but the flutters in my chest only resonate. I’ve merely survived for years without a focus, but nothing can stop me from caring for Abbie now. I’ve latched on and refuse to be shaken loose at our first hurdle.

“Locked in a cupboard, huh? How convenient.” Abbie stands and I grab her wrist to stop her from walking away. Pulling her back between my legs, I clench my jaw.

“It’s the truth, Longstaff’s bodyguard locked me in a fucking cupboard and I’ve spent the past two hours hunting for you.”

“Well here I am, so what do you want?” My eyes flick to Musgrove standing on the other side of the glass, staring at us with interest and Abbie scoffs. “Or am I only good enough to be hidden away as your dirty little secret?” Her blue eyes seem to look through me, the redness surrounding them making my gut plummet. I should have been here to catch every tear, I should have called Longstaff’s bluff. But I was scared. Not for myself, but for Abbie. She’s finally settled here, I don’t want a waste of space like me jeopardizing her chance at graduating. She could really make something of herself, not like the rest of the pinheads around here.

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