Page 22 of Trust In Me

Liam, despite being a world-class assassin, happens to be one of the most logical, mild-tempered people that I know. If he kills someone, they deserve to be dead. He never rushes in, and needs a mountain of evidence before even considering it, which is what he’s doing with Kyle. The Fratacellos are an influential family, and we really don’t want to go to war right now.

“Liam, we already know this guy’s a pervert who wanted to marry Mia when she was underage. That’s good enough information for me. But, I hear what you’re saying about not starting a war, I’ve had the same lecture off Gramps too. I will show restraint, unless he won’t listen to us.” Bree clearly means what she says, her family—us—are the most important factors to consider in any decision she makes. She won’t do anything that poses a risk to us.

“There’s no way this guy can be allowed to walk out of here still thinking he’s going to marry Mia. We need to make damn sure this guy knows she’s off-limits. If you aren’t prepared to do that, I will.” My voice is snappy, and a lot harsher than I intended, but the fact that Mia even exists to this guy is driving me crazy.

Liam begins to reply, and I’m only half listening as he waffles on about how much we need to follow the rule and be patient. It’s a speech I’ve heard too many times before, and focuses on how reckless and impulsive I am. The more he speaks, the more I drown it out. I’m distracted by my phone buzzing, it’s a text from Mia.

Mia: Look at this little angel. All dressed up in her winter coat ready to go to the library.

Attached to the text is a picture of my daughter wearing this massively padded winter romper suit that Bree bought her. This suit is so big and thick she literally looks like she can’t bend her limbs. She’s in a starfish position, lying on the bed in the picture, and it looks like Mia will have trouble even sitting her up in the pram.

I can’t help but laugh. She looks so adorable. Apparently, Liam was in the middle of saying something important and didn’t like being interrupted. “Why are you laughing? What did I say that was so funny?” His voice is snappy, but I just ignore him and address Bree.

“Look, Mia just sent me this photo.” I hand the phone over to Bree and she starts to laugh too. That just winds up Liam even more, who demands to be included. I show him the photo, but tell him to concentrate on the road too. He quickly glances at it before turning his attention back to driving, although I can see in the rear-view mirror that his facial expressions have changed. He’s more relaxed, his brow is no longer furrowed, and he actually appears to be smiling. I know how he feels, she has that effect on me.

I shoot a quick text back to Mia as I listen to Bree talk about how gorgeous she looks.

Kellan: She looks like a beautiful little marshmallow. Hope you have an amazing time. Thanks for keeping me in the loop.

I really mean it. I’m starting to trust her with my child, but that doesn’t mean my irrational fears concerning Hallie have just gone away. I still worry about her, and knowing she’s out and about without me or any real protection is killing me. In fact, the idea that Mia doesn’t know how to protect herself is now scaring the shit out of me too. Why didn’t I teach her about self-defence? Why didn’t I make sure she was armed before she left the house with my baby? Probably because normal people don’t do that sort of thing.

There’s a war going on inside my head. I want to protect them both, to know they are safe. But I also know it’s not normal to arm your nanny. Besides, I think if I try, she may run, and that’s the last fucking thing I want.

“Should we have armed Mia, or at least taught her to fight? I don’t know why it didn't occur to me until now, but I can’t have my girls going off on their own unprotected. I need to make sure they are okay. Fuck! Why didn’t I think of this before now?” I can’t sit still. All my muscles are starting to coil as fear and anxiety grips hold of my body. I can feel myself rocking back and forward, my right leg jiggling up and down of its own accord. I’m very aware I look like a crazy person. But the more I think about how much danger they could be in, the more it terrifies me. My breathing speeds up until I’m panting, feeling like I can’t quite get enough oxygen into my lungs. I gasp for air and my heart races as a fine layer of sweat covers my body. Fuck!

“Breathe, Kellan,” shouts Liam from the driver's seat of the car.

I feel someone touch my hand, but my vision is starting to blur so I can’t work out who it is. “Kellan, listen to me. Take my hand and listen to my voice. You need to slow your breathing down. Mia and Hallie are safe, I promise you. Can you hear what I’m saying? They are safe.” Despite the loud ringing in my ears, I hear Bree say the wordsthey are safe,and that’s all I need to hear.

I try to get control of my breathing, listening fully to Bree as she talks me out of the full-blown panic attack. I don’t know what came over me, I just started thinking of all the worst-case scenarios and my world felt like it was caving in. I’m going to subtly swerve around the fact that I called themmygirls. I have no idea where that came from, and I’m definitely choosing not to think about it.

A blush spreads across my cheeks as the car grinds to a halt in front of the warehouse. Bree is still holding my hand but hasn't said a word. She’s just giving me time to calm down. Embarrassment consumes me as I think about Bree knowing I have an anxiety disorder. Liam obviously knows, he’s been dealing with my freak-outs for as long as I can remember. I hate feeling anxious, and I hate the panic attacks even more. They’ve become a lot worse since Hallie was born. I realise my thoughts are irrational, but that doesn’t mean I can stop them.

“Bro, are you feeling okay now?” Liam asks, as he turns in the driver's seat to face me.

I give him a small nod and Bree squeezes my hand. I mumble an apology for overreacting and as Bree gives me a little laugh, I look up in confusion. She might not know how anxiety works, but surely she knows not to laugh at a man in crisis. I fix her an angry glare, my eyebrows furrow in a silent question, asking her what is so funny.

“I’m not laughing at you, Kel. I’m laughing because if you think you’re overreacting or being paranoid, I must be even worse. I hired four plainclothes bodyguards who are fully trained and fully armed just for them. If Mia and Hallie even step foot outside the house, they will be monitored at all times. Mia doesn’t know, as she probably would say she doesn’t need or want them. So I figured doing it in secret’s the safest way to keep everyone happy, and more importantly, safe.”

Shit, now I feel like a proper asshole for yelling at her. “Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me,” I exclaim, squeezing Bree’s hand and giving her a very genuine smile that I hope speaks volumes.

“Hallie means the world to me, Kel, and Mia is my best friend. Of course I’m going to make sure they are protected. I have no idea who our enemies are at the moment. Things have been too…I’m going to say stable because using the Q word would be a death sentence,” Bree whispers just as Kian knocks on the passenger-side window.

We get out of the car and welcome Kian, but I’m keen to get things started. “I’m assuming Kyle is ready for us?”

With a nod of her head, Bree begins walking towards the warehouse, and we all follow as Kian explains the set-up. “Yeah, I have him. He thinks he’s here for his loyalty review, which to be fair is sort of what we are doing. To make him think we are doing things right, I have the room set up like a conference room. You should note, he has four guards with him, but I have them sat in the waiting room. I have guns aimed at them, all I need is the word from you and no help will be coming for him. I have a full team set up around the perimeter and inside, as always, but you won’t have to worry about them. I will be liaising with them. Just so you know, Kyle’s been here waiting for around an hour. I figured he could stew a little, but it’s got him all riled up, so apologies for that.”

“You don’t have to apologise to me. If he’s angry and irritable, that will give me an easy opening to shoot him in the head,” I reply before Kian even gets a chance to continue speaking.

Liam groans, drawing all our attention to him, and we freeze just outside the warehouse's main door. “There will be no shooting. In fact, maybe you should stay in the other room with the security team and monitor things from there.”

I glance up towards Liam, catching Bree’s eye as I do, and I watch as she grits her teeth and her eyes narrow. She appears to be wincing, and she should. Her fiancé just walked into a steaming pile of bullshit. “Are you fucking kidding me? There’s no way you are benching me. I’ll sit there and behave while you put on this fucking ridiculous show, but if I suspect, even for a moment, that he’s not willing to let Mia go, I will end him.” I grind each word out, letting him know I’m very fucking serious. I may not be a fighter, and I’m certainly not the first to run into a fucking gun fight, but on this occasion, I want to be… No, scratch that, I need to be!

“Kellan,” Liam groans, but before he has a chance to say anything further, Bree puts on her boss voice and takes over the situation.

“Enough, both of you. Kellan, you can be in the room, but you will not go rogue. Nobody in that room cares for Mia as much as I do, so you are going to have to trust that I will make the right decision. And if the time comes that he needs shooting, you will get the first offering. Now, Liam, I have listened to everything you’ve said, because I know you’re only trying to do what’s best for me, but this is about what’s best for the business. Of course I don’t want another war, but there will be more wars. There always is in this business. But, the one thing that means more to me than anything is the people I love. Mia is one of those people, she is family. I would start a war for any family member. So, you have to trust I can do this, but you also have to stop being afraid for me.”

Bree gently strokes his cheek and I watch as my hard-ass friend melts into a puddle beneath her fingertips. I’m so stupid for not realising that’s what this was about with him. I thought he didn’t want to start a war, since we’ve only just got out of one battle and aren’t ready for another yet. I should have known this is more about Bree and keeping her safe.

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