Page 26 of Trust In Me

“Are you saying…” Bree’s words trail off as her eyes widen. Liam’s, on the other hand, are narrowed into a glare and he says the word I’ve tried not to say for the last few months.

“Shayla?” Liam asks, his voice lifting at the end, turning her name into a question, but he already knows the answer. He lived it with me.

“Yes. Shayla. The woman who gave birth to Hallie before abandoning her at five hours old and taking everything I owned. If I never hear that bitch’s name again, I will die a happy man. I will give you everything I have on the heist we did, and the Black Book. But, if this leads back to her or the Reapers, you have to know I’m out. I don’t want my daughter anywhere near her or them. Okay?” I state, trying to hide the shake in my voice.

I hate that I can’t say her name without my voice quivering like a little girl. I may not feel anything for her except pure, unadulterated hatred, but I despise that she once had my heart. I’d only ever trusted one person with it, and the whole time her and Whiskey were playing me. She took my heart and stomped all over it. Yeah, I’m bitter and angry, but there’s also a small part of me that’s grateful. Hallie’s the most important person in my world, and without Shayla, she wouldn’t exist. Hallie’s the only reason Liam and I didn’t wipe out the Reapers entirely. One day, when Hallie asks about her mother, I want to know this was all Shayla, that she’s the one who walked away. I will be the one to ensure she stays away. Shayla isn’t capable of loving anyone else, and I will do whatever I can to protect my girl.

“Okay, we’ll have a meeting tomorrow with Kian to go over all this. But I promise you this, Kel, I love Hallie like she’s family, because you are my family now. I hate the idea that anyone wouldn’t want that gorgeous little girl, so I can promise you, no matter what happens, Shayla will not come back into our lives. Now, let’s go home, shall we?” Bree says everything I want to hear, and I can't help but smile. I see her as family too.

I’ve had such an amazing day playing with Hallie, and I know it is, but it really doesn’t feel like a job. It’s just like hanging out with a very bossy friend, who can barely speak and loves to throw food at my head. The more time I spend with Hallie, the more I get to know her and her quirky traits. I know which cry is because she’s hungry, and which means she needs a nappy change. The more I look at her, the more I see Kellan. She has his eyes, and her cute button nose is just like his, but when she smiles, that’s not Kellan’s smile. That must be from her mum.

Obviously I know Hallie has something missing from her life, but you would never know it. I know I don’t know this woman, but I don’t think I’ll ever get my head around her leaving her baby and Kellan. Why anyone would leave such a gorgeous, sweet, and unbelievably caring person is baffling to me, but to leave Hallie…that’s just unimaginable.

Kellan doesn’t talk about it, and I’ve learnt not to bring it up, but that doesn’t stop me from wondering. Is Hallie going to grow up to look like her mother? Will Kellan hate the face of his daughter if she grows up to look like her mother? I don't know why I think that, I know Kellan could never dislike anything about Hallie.

Looking over at the clock, I’m shocked to find they aren’t here. I know they had a big job going on today, and it must be big if they needed Kellan on site. I think maybe that’s part of the reason I went out all day. I deliberately didn’t want to be stuck at home, worrying about what they could be up to. For other jobs, I’ve always rested a little easier knowing Kellan is safe behind his computer. This is a feeling I’ve never experienced before. I’m actually fucking terrified I might lose him, but he shouldn’t mean that much to me.

Hallie’s laying on her play mat, giggling at the mobile hanging above her head as she repeatedly swats it. The more she giggles, the more it makes me smile. There’s something infectious about this little girl…and her dad, for that matter. The doorbell rings and I scoop Hallie into my arms to answer the door. Shuffling her until she’s sitting in the crook of my left arm, her legs wrapped around my side while her hand grabs at my hair.

Using my only free hand, I fling the door open with a little more vigour than normal, but Hallie chooses that exact moment to tug at my scalp. I chastise her, which causes her to wrinkle her adorable nose into a frown.

Someone coughs, clearing their throat in an obvious way to get my attention. I look up and take in the woman standing on the other side of the threshold, but I don’t recognise her. Her face tries to wrinkle, but it looks like years of Botox abuse has made her skin so paper-thin it barely moves. Her thinning brunette locks are pulled back with a tight clip at the nape of her neck. Her face is covered with far too much make-up and the bright red lipstick she wears makes her lips look thin and pursed. Her nose is pointed and turned up in the air, like she’s smelt something really bad. I’m tempted to sniff Hallie’s nappy, worried I may have missed something. But, as I take in the woman’s tight Gucci suit jacket, silk shirt, and above-the-knee matching skirt, I realise her nose is turned up at me.

Everything about this woman exudes money, from the pearls around her neck, to the fancy manicure on her nails, and the Louis Vuitton heels she is wearing. I know branded clothes when I see them, and I’m painfully reminded that this woman looks exactly like my mum, and how I will be expected to look one day. I hated even thinking about becoming anything like my mother. She’s so down-trodden and controlled that she stood by and just watched as her only daughter went through hell. In my opinion, that makes her as bad as my abusers. I was her little girl, and she should have protected me.

She ignored the bruises and the cuts, she ignored the tears and told me to put more make-up on. She had the maid’s change the bloody bedsheets, telling them I’d unexpectedly started my period. She covered for him, for all of them, and she watched as her beautiful daughter withered away. So, seeing this woman standing before me, I can already tell she’s everything I hate.

Whilst I’m assessing this woman, her gaze roams over me too. She sees my baggy sweatpants, and tight black vest top that’s covered in drool, thanks to the beauty on my hip. I’m in my lounging clothes as I didn’t expect to see anyone other than my roommates, and they’ve all seen me looking worse than this. Granted, as this posh snob is judging me, I wish I’d opted to wear a bra, so my boobs wouldn’t look like they’re trying to burst free from my vest, and I’m sure she can see my nipples pebbling through the thin material.

I don’t know why I care. I don’t even know this woman, and yet I hate being judged by her. Hallie’s squeal as she tugs on another strand of my hair grabs both of our attention.

“Hi, can I help you?” I ask, and her face shifts even further into a scowl.

“Yes, I am here to see my granddaughter and my son. Now, do you want me to stand out here in the cold until I freeze to death, or are you going to find some manners and invite me inside?” she seethes, her words sounding like acid dripping off her tongue.

Fuck, if I didn’t like this woman before, I hate her now.

“Well, Kellan actually isn’t in at the moment. He didn’t tell me that you would be coming. Did you arrange a visit with him?” I ask, mentally chastising Kellan if he forgot to tell me.

“He’s my son, I don’t need to schedule an appointment with him. Now, kindly move out of the way, I will come in and wait for him. No doubt he will be home very soon.” She doesn’t even give me time to say a word, she simply begins striding into the house. I don’t have time to move for her, so she barges against my baby-free shoulder, as she pushes her way into the house.

She walks down the hallway, her head turning rapidly from side to side, and it becomes painfully obvious this woman has never been here before. As she makes it into the living room, which has Hallie’s toys dotted all around the floor, along with her playpen, baby mat, and a little ball pool in the corner of the room that she loves to sit in. Yes, the room looks messy, but to me it’s homely and well lived-in. The way this woman looks at the room, her nose upturned and her face scrunched in a mixture of disgust and a scowl, I instantly hate this woman.

I don’t know what it is, but there’s something inside of me screaming, telling me I need to keep Hallie away from this woman. It may be unfounded, but if it is I will apologise. As the saying goes, it's better to be safe than sorry.

“Well, don’t just stand there, young lady. Give me my granddaughter, and make me some tea. What kind of help has my son employed? You should be in a proper uniform. Set better standards than…this.” I don’t know what’s worse, her acid tongue or the way she glares at me like I’m dog shit on the bottom of her shoe.

“I’m not the maid. I’m a family friend who Kellan employed to be his nanny, but I also live here. I don’t know you, and I haven’t had any kind of heads-up from Kellan telling me you were coming, or that it’s okay for you to play with Hallie. So, I apologise if this causes any offence, but my job is to keep her safe. I can get you some tea, and I will call Kellan while I do that. If you would like to have a seat, please do.” I try to keep my voice as neutral and polite as I can. This is Kellan's mother, after all, I don’t want to offend her any further.

“You may not want to cause offence, but you have. She is my granddaughter, and you are keeping me from her. Don’t think I am so naive as to see what is really going on here. If you really were the nanny, you would be in a professional uniform, the house would be spotless, and my granddaughter wouldn’t look like she’s being raised by wolves. It’s clear you have something going on with my son. But, let me make this perfectly clear, young lady, that little girl has had enough women in her life that have let her down and abandoned her. I will not allow my son to be led by his penis on this one. You are not a replacement mother. She needs real parents, people who can care for her properly, and give her everything she needs. We both know that when you grow bored of my son, you will be out of here so fast. I will not allow my granddaughter to be put through that.” Her voice gets more and more animated the more she rips into me, and I honestly don’t know what to say. This woman has taken one look at me and judged me. No matter how much I argue with her, she will never see reason. I need to leave this for Kellan to deal with.

Clearly my fish-like expression, with my mouth bobbing open and closed while I think about what to say next, is too much for this woman. She rolls her eyes at me and perches on the edge of the sofa, her ass more off it than on. Seriously, she looks like she thinks she’ll catch some kind of disease if she sits on it properly.

Looking up at me, before I even get a chance to defend myself, her face becomes stern. “Make yourself useful. Fetch me some tea. Milk, sugar, and in a proper teapot. That is…if you have one,” she demands, her voice sounding every bit as snarky as her face looks.

I don’t even bother to answer, I just walk over to the kitchen. Sadly, because of the open-plan layout, there’s no reprieve from her watchful eye. I quickly place Hallie into her high chair, which we have positioned next to the stools around the kitchen island. I hand her some of her baby biscuits and she immediately shoves far too many in her mouth and begins to chew on them with her gums, squeals of excitement spitting bits of biscuit everywhere.

“Aww, pretty girl. Are you enjoying that?” I coo, as I rush over and fill the kettle.

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