Page 32 of Trust In Me

Liam: I’m actually starting to reconsider my stance on not killing the bitch.

Ryleigh: That would be an easier plan. Finn wouldn’t need to go undercover then.

Freya: We are not killing Kellan’s mother. Yes she is a first-class bitch, but we are not killing her.

Kian: Stop being such a prude, Frey. You need to let loose more.

Freya: Screw you, caveman. You know nothing about me. I’m hardly a prude just because I don’t think killing someone is our best choice.

Evan: Why don’t we agree that we will try the talking plan first, but if that doesn’t work and we become absolutely desperate, then we kill her?

Kellan: I don’t think this is how family group chats are supposed to go, guys? I don’t think there is supposed to be a debate on whether we should kill my mother or not.

Bree: We are just coming up with options.

Liam: We need to make sure our Hallie Bear stays with you…with us!

Kellan: I know, and to be honest, at this moment in time, I am definitely on Team Kill the Bitch. But in the morning when I’m not as angry I will most likely have changed my mind. So go with your original plan. Have Finn find out everything he can, and we can come up with a proper plan after that.

Finn: I got you, bro. You know that.

Ryleigh: We have all got your back. We love you, Kel. You are family and always have been.

Kellan: Thanks, guys, I love you all.

I close the phone, and decide to turn off my notifications, as I can hear their messages still coming through. Looks like I’m going to have to mute the Doughty chat. Too many people in one place, all thinking they know best. I should have known they would all have my back. I may never have officially belonged in their family, but I lived with them for longer than I lived with my own mother. They are my family, and no matter how crazy they are, I still love them like hell. It literally warms my heart that they want to fight for my daughter just as much as I do.

Pushing all that aside, I decide that is a worry for another day. Tonight I need to spend time with Mia in my arms. I know when she wakes up we will need to talk, we both have a lot we need to say, even if we may not want to. Once all the serious shit is out of the way, I need to tell her how I feel. I need to know if she feels the same way. I know we are both broken, and embarking on a relationship will never be a smooth road, but I want to try, and I need her to try too. Or, at least, I need to know she wants to.

Waking up beside Kellan feels so natural now, we’ve got into the routine of making sure we fall asleep in each other's arms. It’s the only way I can even think about going the full night without a nightmare. I don’t know what it is about being encased in his strong arms, but it’s like my body knows I’m protected. That there’s no point even trying to hurt me because just being in his arms, having him near, keeps me safe.

Though, when I woke up this morning, something felt different. Maybe it’s the fact that a screaming baby didn’t wake me? I blink a few times, waiting for my eyes to adjust, and I can’t help but take some deep breaths because I can’t get over how hot I am. I mean, Kellan always runs a little warm, he’s like my own mini heater, but today it’s so much worse than normal. As my eyes return to normal, I suddenly realise why.

Holy fuck, we’re naked.

The room is darker than I expected, and when I raise my head slightly to see the clock on the opposite wall, I realise it’s only one in the morning. We must have fallen straight to sleep after that fucking mind-altering experience. I’ve never been more attracted to anyone than I am with Kellan. He’s just something else. So when the option for more presented itself, I quite literally jumped on it. But what surprised me most is he never tried to take things too far. He always listened to how I felt and what I wanted. Kellan made sure last night was all about me, and I loved it.

Even the moment when I started spiralling, he grounded me. I know it sounds stupid, but any orgasm that I was able to give myself—and they were very few and far between—they never felt anything like that. I’ve always heard people talk about fireworks going off, their bodies shaking, legs going limp, but I’ve never had that before. They were more like a limp rocket; lacking in impact, and over very quickly. But with Kellan, it was like a fucking firework display taking place in the middle of an earthquake. To say he rocked my world would be a massive fucking understatement.

I try not to do that girly thing, where I lay here wondering what this all means. I know I asked him to put a stopper on my past, that I would talk to him about it when the time is right, but I know as soon as he finds out everything, he won’t want me anymore. Why would he? He can do so much better than some abused, broken victim. Yet, he’s never once made me feel like a victim. Even when he brought up the fact that he knows who my dad is, he still didn’t push me to talk. He let me have this moment, our moment together.

“If you keep wiggling underneath me like that, I can’t be held responsible for what I do next,” Kellan growls from underneath me, and I can’t help the gasp that leaves my mouth.

Turning my head slightly, I look up at Kellan and the small slither of light brightens his far too pretty face. Fuck, he looks even better than he normally does. As I stare at him, I feel his hand that was previously pressed flat against my lower back, moving lower. Slowly, he slides the palm of his hand until he’s cupping my ass cheek, and before I know it, almost like I weigh nothing at all, he moves me until I am sitting on top of him, straddling him. My knees are on either side of his hips, and my very naked pussy is pressing against his hard abs as my tits hang freely. Don’t even get me started on the rock-hard length I can feel hitting my ass cheeks. If I was sitting just a few centimetres lower, I would have landed on his cock. I try not to squirm at the thought, but there’s no way for me to quench the indescribable feeling between my thighs.

His hands grip my hips, holding me in place, preventing me from moving about any more. As I look down, the way this gorgeous, tattoo-covered man is looking at me makes me feel like the most beautiful princess in the world. I bite my lip, to prevent me from saying something stupid. Currently, the only thing running through my mind is,Please can I swivel on your pole?And I would really rather not say that out loud, or I feel it may be the last time I ever see his fucking pole again!

“You look so fucking sexy like this. You have no idea how much I want to watch my cock sink inside you from this angle. But, I said last night was just about you, showing you pleasure, and I meant it,” Kellan groans, as his hands lightly trace up and down my thighs. The action itself is maddening. I’ve never felt this overwhelming urge to have a man’s hands all over me, but with Kellan, I want to feel him everywhere.

“Technically, it’s tomorrow now,” I reply, trying to sound as seductive out loud as I do in my head. Fuck, I’m not good at this. The whole flirting thing is new to me.

“We said tomorrow is for talking, and as much as I want to lose myself in you, we need to talk a bit before we do.” I can’t help but bring my hands that were resting on his chest up to cover my tits. I don’t think I can have any kind of conversation with him while I’m naked.

Before my hands even reach their destination, he takes hold of my wrists, encasing them with his big hands, before pulling them back to his chest. His eyes lock with mine, and I couldn’t avert my gaze even if I wanted to. His expression is fierce, and his normally bright blue eyes now almost look black as he sets my skin alight with one look.

“Don’t ever feel like you have to hide any piece of yourself from me, Mia. No matter what we talk about, no matter what you say, it will never change how I feel. I’ve had a taste of you now, and I will always want more. I know we have talked time and time again about how we can’t do this, and about how wrong it is. But I no longer give a fuck. I want you, and I very much plan on fucking having you.” His voice is just as fierce as his gaze, and it melts me. My stomach flips at hearing the words I have literally been fantasising about hearing from this man. But my life is so much worse than he can ever imagine. I find it very difficult to believe he will want me when he hears what I have to say.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Kellan. I know you think you know what my secrets are, but you don’t. I will tell you because I think we’ve reached the stage where I have to, you have to know, but don’t promise how you will react because you don’t know. There’s a million reasons why you shouldn’t get involved with me, where’ve they all gone?” I ask aloud, while internally I’m shouting at myself to shut the fuck up. He’s finally saying the words we’ve dreamed of him saying, and I’m literally blowing it. Why am I pushing him away?

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