Page 38 of Trust In Me

“Then don’t make me do the same,” I beg.

“She’s on her way over, so you better decide now.” Shayla nods her head to indicate Bree’s currently trying to prise Hallie away from the swing, while she holds on for dear life, her screams echoing around the park.

“You haven’t really given me a choice. Give me one day to end it with him. Tomorrow we’ll go back to him just being my boss, but give me one last night. Please!” Hopefully my plea will resonate with some part of her…that is if the callous bitch even has a heart.

“You can have tonight, but that’s it. The day after you graduate, you move out and cut all contact, or I promise I’ll go through with my plans. I will provide the judge with so much evidence, Kellan will never be able to see Hallie again. Do we have a deal?” she asks, holding her hand out for me to shake.

I look down at her hand, and back up to her face. I’m sure there’s a look of repulsion on my face because she quickly lowers her hand. “We have a deal, but let me make this perfectly clear. You will regret this. Whatever your reasons are for doing this, they’re all kinds of messed up, and you’re so fucking wrong.”

She shakes her head in disagreement before giving me a small smile. “It may not look like it to you, but everything I do is in Hallie’s best interests. One day, I hope Kellan learns the truth, but right now, I’ll settle for being the bitch in his story. As long as it keeps Hallie safe.”

She doesn’t wait for me to reply, which is good because I’m not entirely sure what to say. Instead, she walks off without looking back. But as she turned, I could have sworn I saw a rogue tear falling down her cheek. I don’t care if she thinks she’s acting in Hallie’s best interests, or that there’s more to her story. It doesn’t make up for what she’s doing to us now.

I can’t believe when I set off this morning, I had it all. The only thing I had left was to take things all the way with Kellan. I thought we’d have time to build up to our perfect future. If I’m being totally honest, I thought we’d have forever. I should’ve known life doesn’t work that way. I should’ve known I have no right to be happy.

“Who was that?” Bree asks when she reaches the table. Hallie’s screams have died down to a normal decibel, but it isn’t until she’s sat on my knee with the stuffed penguin Liam bought, her tucked under one arm, that she finally begins to calm down.

If I thought it’d be difficult saying goodbye to Kellan, I never even considered how hard it would be to stop loving this little girl. I’ve always known that with time it’ll be easy to fall in love with Kellan. Hell, I think I’m almost there. But with Hallie it was instantaneous. I challenge anyone to spend a couple of hours with Hallie and not fall in love with her. Every day she achieves something new, or she gives me a big, beautiful gummy smile, and I’m sunk. The thought of leaving her, after everything she’s already lost, kills me. I know that when I leave, I’ll be leaving a piece of my heart with each of them. I just hope I’m left with enough that it will still carry on beating.

“Nobody. We just made small talk in the queue. She’s a nanny too, in between jobs, and was asking if I knew of anyone hiring, that’s all.” The lie falls off my tongue easily, but it feels like acid. I hate lying to Bree. As she stares at me, suspicion heavy in her eyes, I don’t think my lie’s as convincing as I hoped. I need to make my lies a lot more convincing because I’m spending the afternoon with Kellan, and when I break his heart tonight, I need it to be convincing.

Pacing up and down the living room, my brain feels like it’s about to explode. Why the fuck am I so nervous about a bloody date? It’s not like it’s with a stranger either, it’s Mia. She knows me, and I know her. It’s not going to be one of those weird first dates where you have to try and hide all your annoying habits while attempting to function like a normal adult who can hold a proper conversation for a couple of hours. All while hoping the awkwardness will go away quickly.

“Will you stop pacing, you are wearing out the carpet,” Liam snaps from where he’s lounging on the sofa. His feet are up, and he’s reading something on his tablet. No doubt doing research for a new job that he will tell me about tomorrow. He knows there’s no point asking me anything while my anxiety is like this.

Mia and I agreed to not tell Bree and Liam about us dating, and I didn’t exactly tell him, he guessed. “Are you going to tell me where you are going on this date? It better be good if it’s got you this nervous,” Liam asks, as he places the tablet down and picks up the can of Coke next to it, taking a gulp while he waits for my response.

“You aren’t even supposed to know we’re going on a date,” I reply stubbornly, as I throw myself into the chair opposite Liam.

Looking down at my dark jeans, black Converse, and the tight white t-shirt that will pair nicely with my leather jacket, I wonder if I’m not dressed up enough. I mean, for what I have planned, it’ll be fine, but I’m not sure if Mia will expect me to be more dressed up. I should have asked her. When she asked me what to wear, I told her casual, so hopefully this is fine. I try to quiet my brain, demanding it stop bringing up such trivial things that aren’t even an issue until my brain makes them one. I hate when my anxiety does that, it’s crippling.

“It’s not exactly hard to miss the way you are together. It’s obvious you like each other. I know I said I was against it originally, but you deserve to be happy. I like Mia, and after learning what she’s been through, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how important it is she doesn’t get hurt.” Liam gives me that glare that you would imagine a father giving his son. Whenever Liam becomes a dad, he will have the role down, it comes naturally to him. This is why I feel absolutely no hesitation over leaving Hallie with him.

I know I told Mia that Hallie was coming with us, and that it wasn’t a date, but after a lot of panicking, I realised this was the perfect time to do the date we talked about. Bree and Liam were both off to take care of Hallie all night, and the weather was lovely. Why wait for the perfect time when it’s right here and right now.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the one threatening her about not hurting me? Why do I have to get it twice? When Bree finds out, I’m sure she’ll threaten to remove my bollocks, and she’ll be pissed about being the last to know.” Liam’s face falls and he bolts upright instantly.

“Oh fuck. What am I going to do? Never mind what she’ll do to your bollocks, what about mine?” Liam shrieks, his eyes darting around like he expects Bree to walk in any second. She really doesn’t like to be left out of the loop on things, and as her boyfriend, Liam is responsible for keeping her updated. But, technically, neither of them should know about this.

When Bree and Mia brought Hallie back in from the park earlier, for just a moment I considered not asking Mia if she wanted to make this our first date. I can’t really put my finger on it, but she looked different. When she realised I was looking at her, she schooled her face like she always does, but not before I saw the look of sadness in her eyes. I just couldn’t explain it. Bree said they had a lovely time at the park, and Hallie was fast asleep, so it can’t have gone too badly. Yet, Mia isn’t quite behaving like herself.

“Bree quite likes your balls, so I think you’ll be fine. Me, on the other hand, I’m fair game,” I answer Liam, who instantly relaxes.

With a small smile, he replies in his usual cocky manner. “Yeah, she will rip your bollocks off and feed them to you if you hurt Mia.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. “Oh, I already know that. Actually, speaking of dying…”

“What?” Liam interrupts, as I think of a way to continue this conversation. It’s one I’ve been meaning to have with him for a while now, but the timing has just never seemed right. Only, now we’re on a deadline, and I have to get the paperwork completed and sent to my lawyer, so there’s no time like the present. I think I already know the answer, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still nervous as hell asking.

“Since my mother started this custody bullshit, the judge needs to know the ins and outs of not only my life, but Hallie’s too. I’ve already identified you, Bree, and Mia as my support system, to help me with raising Hallie. So the judge knows I’m not doing this alone. Ryleigh, Freya, Evan, and Finn are also included as my family, and even though I’m not sure I would want Hallie spending any long periods with them—well, maybe Freya would be fine—but, they are still my support system. Besides, they were fucking adamant I put them down,” I add with a chuckle. One that is replicated by Liam.

“That sounds like them,” he adds, giving me the biggest smile. When I joined the Doughty family as a kid, I never thought I’d be seen as one of their siblings. I always thought they’d taken me in because I was Liam’s best friend, and nobody else would have me. But the longer I spent with them, the more I got to know the whole family. I became friends with each of them in different ways. Even Desmond and Von treated me like part of the family, even though the Doughtys aren’t exactly an ordinary family. I still got Christmas presents, and they celebrated my birthday. They became my family, and now they’re Hallie’s.

“There’s one thing the judge is very adamant about knowing. He wants to know, given that I’m a single parent, who will get custody of Hallie if anything were to ever happen to me. They can’t just hand her over to Shayla. That bitch signed away all her rights, and she can’t ever get them back.” My voice becomes sharp, like it always does when I talk about her. Hallie doesn’t need people in her life that are going to let her down, and I just need to prove to the judge that sometimes it isn’t the family you are born into that care about you the most, it’s the family you choose for yourself.

“Doesn’t fucking deserve them back,” Liam chunters, not necessarily to me, just in general. I don’t know who hates Shayla more, me or Liam.

“Anyway, I need to tell the judge what my plans are if anything were to happen to me. Obviously, Hallie doesn’t have any blood relatives I would want her to stay with. If it’s okay with you and Bree, I would like to put you down as her guardians. Both you and Bree will be named, if you are together, but if something goes crazy wrong and you are no longer together, then it will just be you.” I know I haven’t really asked him a question, that I’m more just telling him what my plans are, but I still wait for him to answer.

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