Page 53 of Trust In Me

Turning to Bree and Liam, I raise my glass to finish the speech. “Obviously, I’m supposed to thank Liam for asking me to be his best man, but let’s be honest, he didn’t really have anyone better. But, seriously, Liam is my brother in all the ways that matter. He taught me that family isn’t always the one you are born into, but the one you choose for yourself. I was only six years old when we chose each other, and it’s been us against the world since then. Now our family is extending even further, and I am so pleased to welcome Bree. You are one hell of a woman, Brianna O’Keenan, or should I say, Doughty. To the outside world you are hard, ruthless, and pretty fucking scary, but to your family, you are everything. You are one of the sweetest, most caring people I’ve ever met, and I am so honoured to stand by your side. Believe me when I say, it was hard for me to admit Liam had found a partner. Someone who he will turn to first, before me or his family. I’m not even ashamed to say I was a little jealous at first. That was until I got to know you. I know that nobody will fight stronger for Liam, nobody will stand by him and support him more, and nobody will love him harder. You are both lucky to have each other.”

Looking between them both, I smile and try to hold back the emotion I can feel is clogging my throat. “I’m not ashamed to admit for the longest time, I didn’t know what love really looked like. I had never experienced or felt it, until Hallie was born. Since then, my family has closed the gap and started to get along again, and we have widened to accept new people into the mix. I’m surrounded by love more now than I ever have been and that’s all because of you two. Your love shines bright, and I, for one, feel blessed to be a part of it. I don’t need to wish you luck for the future, or wish you a long and happy life together, because I already know that is guaranteed for you. You are soulmates, and you are not only lucky that you have found each other, but that you are strong enough to fight and hold on to each other.” I can’t help but look at Mia as I added that last part. That was not part of the rehearsed version, but it’s another example of where my mouth speaks before my brain can think through the consequences. But it’s all true. I do believe I’ve finally found love, but Mia isn’t strong enough to fight, or maybe our love isn’t strong enough. Either way, I’m sitting here with a broken heart, talking about love. It’s a fucking miracle I kept it this light-hearted.

Holding my glass in the air, I address the room. “I would like you all to raise your glasses, to help me toast the new Mr. and Mrs. O’Keenan-Doughty.”

Rounds of applause and cheers fill the room, and as they die down, Bree reaches over the table to take the microphone from me. This was most definitely not part of the plan, and I can see Liam looking concerned too. With a smile, Bree addresses the room. “Sorry, everyone. This isn’t another speech, although I would like to thank you all for coming to make this day so special. Please make sure you sign the guestbook over on the back table. Shortly, we are going to move this outside onto the deck for cocktail hour. This is so they can spend the hour changing the room around and getting things ready for the party to come. I hope you can all stay, and there will be quite a few people coming just for the evening event. Everyone is under strict instructions that this is a party, no business will be discussed. If we see it, you will be asked to leave. Eat, drink, and most importantly, please join us on the dance floor to let your hair down.

“Anyway, now I’ve got all that over with, there’s just one thing I wanted to point out, and I know it’s something I had been very undecided on up until about five minutes ago. I would like to announce that legally I will be changing my name to Brianna Doughty. For work purposes, I will remain O’Keenan-Doughty, but nothing would make me happier than to join the Doughty family. I didn’t grow up with any siblings, and I never really wanted any. Then I met Kellan, Finn, Evan, Freya, and Ryleigh. You may fight and fall out constantly, but when it comes down to it, you always have each other’s backs. Desmond, you may be a crazy bastard, but you are incredibly lucky to have such a great family, and I thank you for making me feel welcome.” She turns to face Liam, and the smile she gives him lets me know that the whole room is fading away, and it’s only them. “I know I said it’s archaic and sexist, but a girl reserves the right to change her mind. So, what do you say Mr. Doughty, can I share your name?”

Liam stands up, and places his hands on her hips, pulling her a bit closer to him. “You can share anything you want of mine, Princess,” he growls before pressing his lips roughly against hers. Hollers and catcalls, shouting about them getting a room and that children are present fall on deaf ears. They are happy and that is all that matters.

The rest of the evening passes by without a hitch, we even manage to fit a small detour into the schedule. Bree went to see Jimmy, even though Liam and I both told her it could wait, but once she gets an idea in her head, that's it. She had made the decision that Jimmy needed to die. He was being kept alive for this supposed information that he has, but he’s never shared it, only snippets. We were all starting to think there isn’t any info, and that he’s simply just trying to get us to keep him alive. But that all ends tonight. Bree basically gave him an ultimatum. She said that she will be back tomorrow afternoon, when she is finished with her wedding night, and then she will kill him. He dies tomorrow, no matter what. The only difference is whether he dies with a clear conscience or not.

As she is leaving, he calls her back, and I can see Bree is physically shaking. It’d taken all her effort to give that speech; she doesn’t look like she can take much more. Without thinking, I take hold of one hand and Liam the other, so she knows she isn’t alone.

Jimmy’s voice sounds hoarse and croaky, which given the length of time he’s been a prisoner with minimal water and company to talk to, it’s not surprising. “Brianna, I’m not going to beg for my life. I know you will do what you need to do. When you come back tomorrow, I will tell you what I can. You should go and enjoy your wedding. You look absolutely stunning, by the way.” He gives Bree a small smile, but she just turns her head away from him. It looks like she’s indifferent to his comments, but I can see the pain in her eyes. She’s fighting the emotion that is battling to get free. This guy was more of a father to her than Vernon ever was, that’s why his betrayal stung the most.

“Bree, you need to know that while Vernon is alive, he will always be a threat to you. He is power mad, and he has somebody backing him with very deep pockets. I overheard one of the guards mentioning that you have sent him into exile, and have cut him off under strict instruction to never return. That won’t ever be enough, Bree. As long as this backer has money, Vernon will have a plan. He isn’t gone, he’s just hibernating. Lulling you into a false sense of security, waiting for the day he can strike when you least expect it. He will tear you all down. He doesn’t give a shit who he hurts.”

Liam’s growl echoes around the room as he turns and bellows at Jimmy. “And yet you were willing to fucking help him. You didn’t care who got hurt either. You were prepared to let Bree die so that—”

Jimmy cuts off Liam’s rant and begins shouting over him. “No! I absolutely didn’t want Bree to get hurt. Yes, I helped him for reasons I can’t explain. But I was assured Bree wouldn’t be harmed.”

Upon hearing this, Bree spins around and steps closer to Jimmy, her voice low and deadly. “Well, I was hurt. I was beaten, tortured, abused, and sexually molested. But you know what, I could have coped with all of that. What I will never be able to get over is the fact that you murdered my baby.”

Jimmy looks like he has been slapped across the face, his eyes filling with unshed tears. When he finally speaks, his voice is low and barely audible. “You were pregnant?”

“Yes. I didn’t even know. But you and my father took that baby from us. You stole the life of what I’m sure would have been the most loved child. I can’t ever forgive you, or Vernon, for that. If it were up to me, he would be facing death tomorrow with you, but Gramps asked for mercy. He couldn’t kill his only son, and I can’t hold that against him. As a parent who has lost a child, I can only imagine how difficult that decision was for him. So, yes, Vernon has been given another chance, but if he remains a threat like you say, he will be joining you before you know it.”

Jimmy shakes his head, and I’ve never seen him look so small and defeated. Hearing what Bree and Liam lost at his hands, I think it may have broken him. Liam takes hold of Bree’s hands and leads her towards the door, but I turn around asking the question that has been on my mind since he mentioned it. I know Bree wants to get all the info tomorrow, but I have an awful nagging feeling in my gut. It is screaming at me to find out the answer. But, if I’m right and have already managed to guess what he’s about to say, we could all be in a lot of fucking trouble.

“Jimmy, before we go, you can give Bree all the details tomorrow, but I have to know…what’s the name of the person financially backing Vernon?” I ask, and Jimmy looks across at Bree, like he needs her permission to answer me. She gives him a nod, and with a big sigh, he says the words I was dreading to hear.

“Whitlock. Mortimer Whitlock.”

I groan as Bree, Liam, and I all look at each other with trepidation. It appears Bree’s father is a lot further involved in all of this bullshit than we planned. I’m not even the slightest bit concerned when Bree informs me that one day soon, we are going to have to take Whitlock out of the equation. Maybe then Mia won’t have anything holding her back from being with me.

It’s been a couple of weeks since the wedding, and I think for a while we all seem to go into a bit of a slump after such a beautiful day. The day itself was gorgeous, and to watch my best friend be so happy, it was amazing. I was only like five percent a jealous, hateful bitch. I honestly didn’t mean to be, but as I walked down the aisle towards Kellan, carrying his daughter in my arms, all I could think about was the future I’m missing out on. I pictured myself in a beautiful white dress, walking down to meet Kellan and Hallie, asking them both if they will accept me into their family. I know they would have done it in a heartbeat. I hate that we can never have that.

I didn’t miss Kellan’s sarcastic comment in his speech that was aimed directly at me. Telling me I need to be braver and fight for love. What he doesn’t realise is that I am fighting. I am fighting every fucking day to stay away from him, to not fall into his arms, because I want him to keep custody of his daughter. The love they have for each other will always come before mine.

All of that meant absolutely nothing when Kellan held me in his arms for the first dance. Bree and Liam started the dance to Ed Sheeran’s song, “Perfect.” As soon as the chorus started, Kellan took my hand and pulled me onto the dance floor. Other couples quickly followed suit, and it meant that all eyes weren’t on us. I was able to rest my head on his chest, with my arms around his neck, and our bodies crushed together while we swayed to the music. I have fallen asleep every night since picturing that moment, imagining how his hand felt against my lower back as he pushed our bodies closer together, and how his breath felt against my neck. Whenever the main part of the chorus rang out, he would sing the words softly into my ear, just for me to hear, with his lips almost touching my lobe.

“Darling, you look perfect tonight.”

“I see my future in your eyes.”

“Now I know I have met an angel in person…I don’t deserve this.”

Each lyric seemed to have more meaning to us and our situation, and we just held each other. Shivers rippled down my spine and I held back the tears that threatened to fall. I know Kellan, this was his way of telling me, without having to say the words, that he loves me. For a guy like Kel, who when I first met him would have been the first to confess he didn’t even know what love was, for him to feel comfortable enough to show me how he feels, I know this is a big thing for him. That’s why I let myself stay in the moment. We danced all night, to a whole host of different songs. We slow danced, we dirty danced, hell…we even did the Cha Cha Slide. It was the perfect night that ended with the perfect kiss.

To say I wanted to go back to his room with him was a massive fucking understatement, and it took every ounce of energy that I had to keep out of his room. I wanted to fall into his bed, to let him love me, and to show him that I love him, but it’s not that simple. I’ve spent every day since then wallowing.

Being apart from Kellan is literally driving me crazy. I can hear Hallie waking him up constantly throughout the night, and it takes every ounce of strength not to go and help him. Stubborn asshole that he is says he doesn’t need help. That nannies don’t come into the guy’s bedroom in the middle of the night, join him in bed to help with the childcare. He does have a point, but I’m more than just an employee. I’m supposed to be his friend too.

There’s also a very selfish reason for wanting to help him overnight, my nightmares have started to return and the fear is crippling me. I wake up screaming a couple of times a night, and combined with Hallie screaming, Kellan and I get no sleep. I know he hears me, there’s no way he can’t. Every time I expect him to waltz in and scoop me into his arms, to rescue me from the monsters in my mind, but he never does. Sometimes I’m mad at him for it, but I know that’s not logical. I told him to stay away, so I can’t be mad at him for doing as he’s told. Still doesn’t stop me from being any less lonely.

With the exception of the nightmares and Hallie’s very disturbed sleep pattern, things go back to normal around here pretty quickly. But I don’t think they will stay like that for long. It’s Christmas in a few weeks, which means the Doughtys will be descending for another round of chaos, and this time, I have been invited. Given that it is being hosted in my home, I’m grateful for the invite. I’m still not quite used to the big, loud family gatherings. I never had that growing up. In fact, with the exception of the times I was being abused, people rarely even acknowledged I existed, and after a while, I was pleased with that.

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