Page 7 of Trust In Me

“Are you okay? I don’t know, your voice sounds kinda strained,” she asks with a small smile, as she shuffles around nervously trying to avoid meeting my gaze.

Taking a step closer, I reach out and place my hand on her chin, lifting her gaze until she has no choice but to meet mine. “I’m okay, just dealing with some ghosts, that’s all. Why can’t you look at me?” My voice comes out as a gruff drawl, full of lust and insinuations.

“Because every time I do, I think about that day at the warehouse, and I can’t keep torturing myself like that.”

Before I have a chance to reply, Liam comes bounding down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Mia and I spring apart, like we’re fucking teenagers caught doing something we shouldn’t. Even though my fingers are no longer touching her silky, smooth skin, it’s like I can still feel her under my skin.

“Hey, where’s Bree?” Liam asks, as he reaches the island in the kitchen, looking between the two of us with his disapproving stare.

“She’s by the pool. We’re just about to have some lunch. I made enough for you too. Kellan, could you grab the drinks please,” she asks innocently, as though she didn’t just cause my heart and my cock to ache for her.

I do as I’m told, and when we reach the table, Hallie is really screaming for her food. I notice Bree has changed her out of her swimming stuff, which means I’ve missed out on her pre-food nappy change. Bonus!

“Aww what’s wrong with my beautiful girl. Are you hungry? Come and give Daddy a cuddle,” I say, as I put the drinks down and free up my arms to take my baby girl. But instead of holding her arms out for me, as soon as she spots Liam, she reaches for him. I should have fucking known, this girl idolises him.

“Looks like someone wants Uncle Liam to feed them,” Bree says as she hands Hallie over to Liam with a smile.

“Oh yeah, it’s like I don’t even exist!” I moan, only half joking. I love the fact that she loves her uncle so much, I just wish she showed me that much love some days.

Doubt creeps in, and I try to hide it from everyone, but I worry she somehow knows what happened before she was born. That, for the shortest amount of time, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a father, or if Hallie was even my biological daughter. Hallie came with so much baggage, namely Shayla and the Reapers, but I can’t change that. No matter how much I may want to. I worry that’s why she doesn’t show me as much affection at times.

Pushing those dark thoughts aside, we sit together, joking and just talking about nothing as we eat the lunch Mia made for us. Liam updates Bree about Desmond, but he doesn’t mention to her that we’re familiar with the Reapers. He glosses over them, which I’m grateful for. I have a sneaky suspicion he’ll tell Bree everything later, but Mia doesn’t need to know. Not unless I choose to tell her.

“So, I’m treating Bree to a special date night tonight since she’s been moaning like hell about getting out of the house. You two, or should I say three, will have the house to yourselves. Since I’m feeling extra kind, why don’t you get a takeaway on me,” Liam says, with that cocky grin of his as he looks between us.

Mia drops her gaze, a blush spreading across her cheeks, and that’s when Bree chips in. “It will be good for you guys to hang out, as friends. Since we’re all going to be living together, getting to know each other, and becoming friends, it will be good for everyone.” I don’t know if I’m the only one who picked up on it, but the way she emphasises the wordfriends, it feels like a warning. Mia is off-limits.

Mia doesn’t look like she’s going to be the first to speak, her head is firmly down, trying to avoid everyone’s gaze. So, I take pity on her and reply. “Well, I’m not going to turn down free food and the chance to avoid cooking. We could always watch a movie together, if you like, Mia? I should be able to get Hallie asleep by seven, and then we can get food and a movie in before she wakes up for her next bottle. What do you say, fancy keeping me company, and eating food we didn’t pay for?” I ask, and as she lifts her head and our eyes meet, my heart begins to race, and it’s as though she sees into my soul. Her stunning chocolate eyes glow, and there’s a fire there that seems to set my body alight.

“On one condition, we don't have to wash up either,” she jokes, and Liam laughs, telling her they have a deal. I don’t know if my meddling best friend has just done me a favour or not. I know Liam wants me to get to know her so I’ll keep her as my nanny, but what he doesn’t realise is that pushing us to spend more time together before we decide if anything is going to happen between us is a mistake. It’s like we’re in a pressure cooker, and the more our emotions bubble and boil, the sooner it will explode. I promised him a few weeks ago that I wouldn’t shit where I eat, and I know he meant that I wasn’t allowed to fuck Mia. I just don’t know if I can stick to that.

I can, however, spend the evening with her, getting to know her. That I can agree to. Whatever else happens, we will just have to see.

It’s not a date. It’s not a date. Maybe if I repeat it in my head a few more times, I will start to believe it. I know Liam and Bree want this to be two roommates getting to know each other, a way for us to become friends, and hopefully secure my job as Hallie’s nanny. If only they knew about the kiss, and about the burning ache I feel for him. They would know that we can’t just be friends. It feels like something could happen with Kellan, and every logical part of me is telling me to walk away.

In truth, I need this job more than anything. Besides, living with a guy after a one-night fling would be super awkward. But, that’s all that could ever happen between us, one night, and even then I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Part of me wants to run away from Kellan and his wandering penis, but the other part of me actually craves him. It feels wrong to want sex when I’ve spent my whole life detesting it.

I try to block those thoughts from my mind, focusing instead on how I look in the mirror in front of me. You have no idea how hard it is to get dressed up, but make it look like I’m not dressing up and that I didn’t try. It even took me close to thirty minutes to make my bun sufficiently messy enough. Clearly I’m going insane. I suspected as much when I put make-up on, but tried to make it look like I wasn’t wearing any. After trying on numerous outfits, I settled on some skinny jeans and a strappy vest top. I look like I’m just chilling out, but underneath, I’m ashamed to admit I have on my best pair of black lace matching lingerie.

Yeah, I’ve definitely gone insane!

Looking down at my watch, I see it’s five minutes before seven, which is the time we arranged to meet. I bet he is still putting Hallie down, so I decide to head down to the living room. Why do I feel so awkward wandering around my own home all of a sudden?

Walking down the stairs as quietly as I can, I genuinely feel like I’ve gone crazy. I just need a few minutes of deep breaths before I jump into this. I know this isn’t a date, my head has repeated it enough times, but the truth is, I’ve never been on a date. Like, never. And yes, I’m a twenty-one year old girl who has no idea what a date even looks like. Is it any wonder I’m freaking out?!

As I reach the living room, I hear a soft tune that becomes more obvious the closer I get. As soon as I realise it’s Kellan singing, I’m hooked. I’m not saying he is going to win a Grammy anytime soon, but the guy can hold a tune. What really has me laughing is the fact that he’s clearly singing “Let it Go” from theFrozenmovie that Hallie absolutely adores, but he’s changing up the lyrics, using it as a way to tell Hallie to let go of her tiredness and to go to sleep so he can watch a movie that doesn’t rot his brain.

I slowly peer around the entryway to the open-plan living room and kitchen. I was hoping to catch sight of him without him realising I’m here, and thankfully he has his back to me. He is pacing at the back of the sofa and as he turns around to head back the other way, I catch sight of him and he takes my breath away. This gorgeous man is singing while swaying his daughter in his arms, but it’s painfully obvious Hallie is not ready to go to bed just yet. She isn’t grumbling or anything, she is literally just laying there in his arms, her big, bright blue eyes staring up at her daddy, like he’s the greatest guy in the world. Obviously, this look alone is enough to make my ovaries explode, but then I get a chance to look the rest of him over and see he too has made slightly more of an effort than usual.

Typically, given Hallie’s ability to throw up on anything, Kellan tends to just wear sweat pants and plain t-shirts around the house. I’ve seen him get dressed properly when he goes out on jobs with Liam, and he rocks the dark jeans look. But this is a whole new side to him. His dark blue jeans are faded and ripped in all the right places, and whenever he turns so he isn’t looking at me, I get a very delicious view of his tight ass in those jeans. He looks to have paired it with a t-shirt, and a dark blue shirt over the top of it. The sleeves of the shirt are rolled up, revealing the tattoos he has across his forearms, giving me the slight hint of what Bree told me is underneath. Apparently before I started living here, and Kellan was trying to wind up Liam, he would constantly walk around topless. Personally, I would’ve had no issues with that game continuing. I’m desperate to see what’s underneath. Believe me, I’ve fantasised about it enough.

Kellan’s hair is still a little wet from the shower, but running his baby-free hand through the strands leaves it floppy and styled in just the right way. He’s gorgeous, and I can’t fucking wait to spend the evening getting to know him, because that’s where our problems lies. Maybe when he gets to know the real me, not the broken kid I used to be, he will stop searching for answers in a past that doesn’t exist anymore.

“Please, Hallie, baby girl. Just close your eyes. Daddy needs to have a little bit of grown-up time before his head explodes. You would probably think that was funny, wouldn’t you, my beautiful little weirdo?” Kellan coos before kissing Hallie on the cheek. Her resounding giggle makes me laugh, giving away my hiding space.

I address Kellan, since I’m sure he knows I’m here. “Problems with the baby?”

Kellan’s responding laugh is a mixture of desperation and despair, and this time when I look into his eyes, I can see how tired he really is. He has dark circles under his eyes, and one is starting to look a little bloodshot. Even his rugged stubble looks like it’s probably not supposed to be there. It doesn’t detract from how handsome he is, but it reminds me this guy is a single dad doing it all alone. He gets up in the middle of the night with Hallie, and then looks after her all day when he isn’t working. Other than the small amount of time he lets either Liam or Bree look after her, he does everything, and it shows.

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