Page 71 of Trust In Me

“Hey,” Shay says, grabbing both our attention. “Yes, Kellan saying I can see Hallie is exactly what I want to hear. But you’re the one that’s making my life safe. Once they are gone, we can have babies of our own, that don’t have to live in fear. You are my whole world, Jamieson, and don’t you ever forget that.” Shayla reaches out and pulls Jamieson down to kiss her, but it’s short-lived as Shay begins coughing and gasping, as she struggles to catch her breath.

Her eyes flutter into the back of her head and her body goes limp. Whiskey’s cry sounds like a wounded animal, and it breaks my heart. Thankfully, the paramedics arrive and swoop in to look at both girls. They begin doing CPR on Shayla, whose heart has just stopped beating. Joker has to pull Whiskey away because he doesn't want to let go of her hand. They need to shock her, and so I take his hand from hers and grip it in my own. He looks at me, pain and anguish in his eyes, and I squeeze his hand in reassurance.

“We’ve got a pulse, but we need to move. Now,” shouts the paramedic, and I think my heart has finally started to beat again too.

I watch as they carry Shayla away, Joker and Whiskey tailing after them, and I turn to find Mia being loaded onto a stretcher. She’s paler than she was before, and she looks like she’s struggling to breathe. She looks exhausted, and I rush to her, taking her hands in mine.

“I’m sorry. I didn't choose Shayla over you. I wanted to help you, but I didn’t know what to do,” I mutter, not entirely sure why I’m feeling the need to explain my actions, but I do feel guilty for not staying with Mia. I don’t want her to think I chose Shayla because I have feelings for her, or anything like that.

“Kel, I told you to go and help her. You did a good thing. She needed your forgiveness. If anything happens to her, she’ll be happier knowing you forgive her,” Mia says, her voice faint and weak.

“You will always be far too good for me, Mia, but I hope you’ll always have me anyway,” I joke.

Mia smiles, but before she gets a chance to reply, we are interrupted by a loud beeping on the monitor. I look around to see what’s going on with Shay, but she’s already been taken to the ambulance. That’s when my world starts to collapse in slow motion. The noise on the heart monitor is coming from Mia, and the paramedics try to move me out the way, shouting about how her heart has stopped beating and they need to restart it.

Liam pulls me out of the way, and wraps his arms around me. All I can think is ‘not Mia too’. I thought Shayla was worse off, I should’ve been with Mia. I should have told her all the things I never got a chance to tell her. I swore once I found her I would tell her I love her, so why the fuck didn’t I do it? I told myself I was waiting for the right moment, that I didn’t want her to think I’m saying it just out of fear of losing her. As usual, I fucking overthought it, and now I may never get the chance to tell her. She can’t die not knowing how I feel.

Sobs rack my body and each time the paramedic slams his hand down into her chest, doing CPR in an attempt to revive her, I feel like he’s stabbing me in the heart. Each shock that doesn’t revive her, it kills me just that little bit more.

Loud beeping wakes me up, and as I try to open my eyes, pain overwhelms me. I’ve never known physically moving my eyelids to be painful, but my entire body aches. There’s a pounding in my head and a ringing in my ears. My mouth feels drier than the Sahara Desert, and I feel like I’ve slept for longer than I normally would.

As I try to force my eyelids open, to the bright lights burning my vision, I try to think back to what I last remember. My brain feels like it's shrouded in fog, and I can’t physically wade through it all.

My eyelids flutter and after a few blinks I’m able to focus my vision. I try to mentally scan my body, but the pain is literally everywhere. Though there’s a stabbing pain in my abdomen that feels worse than the other aches.

I scan the room and it’s not difficult to work out that I’m in a hospital bed. The loud beeping is coming from the heart monitor, and I have numerous fluid drips travelling into my arms. The pain tells me something really fucking bad happened, and I guess part of me always knew my life would wind up here.

Looking down to see if I can see any physical injuries, but instead I’m greeted by a mass of black hair laying next to my side. Kellan is sitting in one of the hospital chairs at the side of my bed, but at some point he’s leaned over to rest his head on the bed, and he’s fallen asleep. His hand is gripping mine, our fingers interlaced, and the warmth from his hand heats my body.

Memories start to flood back to me, like flashes of pictures in my mind that are used just to terrorise me. I see Kyle. He kidnapped me, beat me, tortured me, and sexually assaulted me. Then, he had the audacity to think I’d marry him. I thought of Kellan and Hallie. They were the people that kept me going when I didn’t think I possibly could go on. All I dreamt of was getting back to them, putting things right with Kellan, and starting our lives together. For a while, I never thought we’d get that chance. I was sure Kyle was going to kill me before I got to see Kellan again.

I remember having to be separated from him, of how much I hurt him. That’s when images of Shayla flash into my brain. For a while I hated her. She took everything from me for no fucking reason. Until she showed up in Kyle’s bedroom, declaring she wanted to help me.

Fuck! Flashes of her with the paramedics, covered in blood as they pressed on her chest, trying to get her heart beating again. I don’t remember much after that. I can’t remember if they got her heart started or not. The last thing I remember for sure is the tormented scream that came from Whiskey when he saw the girl he’s been in love with since he was a kid laying motionless, covered in blood. The look on Kellan’s face when he pulled me into his arms, as he watched the mother of his child get carried from the room was heartbreaking.

I saw how torn he was between helping her and being with me. Obviously, I wanted to be in his arms, stealing his body heat, but I knew he needed to be with Shayla. She needed someone more than I did. Fuck, I really hope she survived. I can’t deal with knowing she risked her life for me.

Squeezing Kellan’s hand, his head instantly pops up. His beautiful face looks pale, and the bags under his eyes make him look even more exhausted than he normally is. There’s a crease down his cheek from where the bedsheet rumpled up and pressed against him while he slept. Even with those little imperfections, when his gaze meets mine and his bright blue eyes glisten, he’s never looked more fucking beautiful.

When he realises that my eyes are open, and I’m staring back at him, the smile that spreads across his face is blinding. He reaches up gently, his hand shaking slightly, like he’s scared to physically touch me. He pushes a stray piece of hair away from my eyes, before leaning forward and pressing his lips to my forehead.

As he pulls back slowly, I reach up with my free hand, catching the back of his head, and pull him down to place his lips against mine. We’ve been apart for too long. I need to feel his lips on mine, and even though it’s a small, almost innocent kiss, it speaks volumes.

“Fuck, Flower. You scared the shit out of me. Please don’t ever do that again,” Kellan croaks, his voice thick with emotion, as his eyes fill with unshed tears.

“Water.” I reach out, trying to grab the glass of water that’s just a little too far out of reach. Kellan moves quickly, reaching over to grab the glass, bringing it close enough that I could grab it. Instead, he helps guide the straw into my mouth, insisting on doing it all for me. I roll my eyes and then groan because I didn’t expect such a harmless gesture to hurt so fucking much.

Taking some big gulps through the straw, I love the way the cold liquid feels against my incredibly dry mouth. After a couple of gulps, Kellan pulls the straw away, and I can’t hide the evil glare I shoot his way.

“You need to take it easy, Flower. Do you need pain relief? I can grab the nurses to let them know you are awake.” He starts to stand, but I tighten my hold on his hand.

“No, please don’t go anywhere.” I hate the terror that comes out of my mouth. Obviously, I’m in pain, and I wouldn’t say no to some pain relief, but I can’t bear to have him leave me when I’ve only just got him back.

Kellan sits back down and takes my other hand in his. “Okay, Flower. I’m not going anywhere. I just don't want you to be in pain.”

I give him a small smile. “I will get them soon. I know they will make me drowsy, and I’m not ready to sleep again yet. I just want to stay with you for a bit. I need to know what happened. Is Shayla alive?”

Kellan’s face scrunches and I want to reach out to straighten his face back to the beauty I love. He looks pained, like he isn’t sure if he should talk about it with me or not. Letting go of his hand, I reach out to cup his cheek.

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