Page 72 of Trust In Me

“Kellan, I’m not fragile and I’m not going to break. But I need to know.”

Kellan shakes his head, and tears well up in his eyes. “That’s just it, Mia. You are breakable because I saw you broken. I watched the paramedics shock your heart twice to try and get you back with us. You died, Mia, and it nearly killed me. They got you back, but rushed you into the operating theatre. You needed to have your spleen removed, and they gave you a couple of blood transfusions. You were in a medically induced coma for five days. They weaned you off the anaesthetic drugs two days ago, and I’ve been waiting for you to wake up ever since. Every minute of every day, I begged you to wake up. Every minute you didn’t, I was forced to think about what life might be like without you. I can’t even tell you how fucking painful that thought was.”

My heart breaks for him as he bares his soul to me. “Kel…I’m so sorry. I’ve been out for seven days? What about Shay?” I mutter, shocked as it only seems like yesterday. He’s gone through so much in the last week and I hate that I put him through that.

“Yeah. The longest fucking week of my life. I’m so sorry, Mia. I wish I could have saved you before you got so hurt. I tried. Shay was touch-and-go for a while, she needed a lot of surgery too. But surprisingly she woke up a couple of days ago. She has a long recovery ahead, the way you do, but I think she will be okay.” His voice cracks at the end, and it breaks over what he’s been through, but I’m over the moon about Shay. Knowing she risked her life for me is baffling. Yet I’m so incredibly fucking glad she did. I wouldn’t be here without her.

“Kellan, of course I know that you tried your best. I would never think otherwise. I’m so sorry I put you through so much hell. Just know that every single day I fought to get back to you. I hate how we left things. I lied to you because I had to…or at least I thought I did. What Shay did…the way she broke us up, it was wrong. But I think she has more than made up for her mistakes.”

Kellan leans forward and rests his forehead against mine as his thumb strokes the back of my hand. “I know that, Mia. I know everything, but the past is in the past. I will forever be grateful to Shayla for bringing you back to me. I won’t put you on the spot because I know after everything you have been through you will need time, but just know that when you are ready, I’m right here.”

I can’t help but chuckle, only as I do that pain ricochets through the wound in my abdomen, and in my lungs too. Coughing, I try to catch my breath and Kellan pulls back, her brow furrowed in concern as my heart rate monitor beeps just for a second. Once I’ve caught my breath, the beeping goes back to normal and seems to fade into the background again. Kellan looks confused, and I know I have to explain myself.

“Kellan, I don’t need time. I am not emotional. But I am done waiting. I love you. I think I have for a while, and if you really mean that you want to be with me, then I don’t want to waste another moment.”

I’ve barely managed to get the last word out before Kellan slams his lips against mine. This is the real kiss I feel like I’ve waited forever for. Bruising, dominating, and full of passion. I waste no time granting him access to my mouth, and as soon as I taste him, a moan rips from my throat. I wrap my arms around his neck, trying as best I can to pull him closer without pulling any of my IV lines out. I let him devour me, as I ignore all the aches and pains I feel and focus on the way my core heats up just for him. Pain stabs through me as I writhe around, trying to sate the delicious ache I feel in my pussy. I have never been so fucking turned on by just a kiss. One of his hands is on my cheek, the other at the back of my neck, but they don’t even hint at moving. I want him to pull me closer, to touch me everywhere, but he doesn’t.

I can feel my body heating up under his touch. A loud alarm rips through the room and we spring apart, like teenagers caught doing something we shouldn’t. We are both panting, desperately trying to catch our breaths, which is something I’m struggling with. Each time I try, a shooting pain ripples through my lungs, and a ringing starts in my ears. Spots appear in my vision and I wonder if I’m about to pass out.

A nurse rushes into the room and appears to quickly assess the situation, looking at which monitor is beeping before looking at me. It’s obvious that I’m struggling to catch my breath. What I hope isn’t obvious is the way my lips are swollen after the best kiss of my life.

The nurse walks over to the wall behind me and reaches for the oxygen mask. As she starts talking to me, she moves to place the mask over my face. “Hi, Mia. I’m Rosa, and I’m your nurse. I’m very happy to see you awake. Just do me a favour please and take slow but deep breaths into the oxygen mask, as much as you can. You have had a slight dip in your oxygen levels and your heart was racing, and now we just need to get them back to normal. Clearly waking up was too much excitement.”

With a small chuckle, I clutch the wound by my side when it feels as though someone is stabbing my side. I respond to her as best I can through my mask. “Waking up to him is what did it,” I joke, nodding my head towards Kellan, and Rosa smiles.

Rosa doesn’t appear to be much older than me, probably hasn’t been qualified for too long. I see the way her eyes travel over Kellan’s body, and she appreciates how fucking incredibly hot he is. Kellan barely even realises she’s in the room, his eyes never leave mine.

As Rosa picks up my notes from the bottom of my bed, and begins to look them over, she replies, “You are a very lucky girl. Kellan has barely left your side since you arrived. No matter how much we tell him to go home, his answer is the same every time.”

“I will go home when Mia does,” Kellan says at the same time Rosa recalls his reply.

Fuck, my heart aches at how sweet this guy is, but I’m also concerned. “What about Hallie?” I can’t believe he would leave his daughter for a whole week.

“They don’t allow babies in the ICU, which is where you are now. Liam and Bree have been looking after her for us. Liam brings her to the cafeteria once a day and I sit with her for a bit while Bree visits you. It kills me to be away from her, but I know she understands. Getting you home with us is far more important,” Kellan explains, and I’m sure Rosa swoons just as much as I do. This guy couldn’t be any more fucking perfect.

“Your levels seem to be settling for now, Mia. But you need to take it easy. I can tell you’re in pain, so I'm going to get you some pain killers. It’ll probably send you back to sleep, but your body needs that. I’ll be right back,” Rosa explains as she puts some of the notes back into the folder at the bottom of the bed, keeping what I assume to be my prescription chart in her hand as she leaves the room.

“Kellan, I don’t want to sleep. I want to stay awake, with you,” I beg, as fear of what I might see when I close my eyes takes hold.

Kellan cups my face in his hands and pulls my gaze to him. “I’m not going anywhere. As I was trying to tell you before my kiss that set off the alarms…was I that good?” Kellan jokes, and I playfully slap him on the arm, trying not to laugh too hard because it hurts.

“Could you be any more big-headed?”

Kellan’s face suddenly turns serious, his cocky grin that I love so much becomes stern. “Mia, I’ve never said this to another person and meant it the way I do with you. I love you, so fucking much it hurts. You asked before if I want you, and the truth is, I’ve always wanted you. For the longest time I was convinced I didn’t know what love was, and that all women were just destined to hurt and leave me. Then I met you. Feisty, broken, but so incredibly beautiful. Your broken soul called out to mine. We’re made for each other, Flower. I’m done waiting, and I’m done with all the obstacles getting in our way. I want to be with you. I want to build a life with you. I know I come with baggage in the shape of a beautiful little monster who loves to throw bananas at you and pull your hair. But, when we love, we do it with all our hearts, and I know I don’t just speak for myself when I say this. Hallie feels the same, I’m more than sure of that. We love you, and we want you in our lives. If you will have us?”

Tears stream down my face and I have to wipe them from the oxygen mask that’s steaming up from all the emotion. My heart feels like it’s swelling to twice its size, so I can make room for theirs. “I would be honoured to be in Hallie's life. You know I love her, and I love you. I guess today is the start of our forever.”

I move the oxygen mask and lean towards Kellan, but he backs away and puts the mask back into place. “We have forever, Mia. I need you to get better and get off these monitors. Then I can kiss you as much as I want. Until then, you’ll just have to imagine how good it will feel when I take you in my arms, and press my lips against yours. The feel of our bodies pressed together as I try to pull you closer, feeling all of you.”

Fuck, I can feel my core starting to heat up, and the heartbeat that had been in the background starts to race again. If I don’t calm down, I’m going to set off another fucking alarm. Kellan chuckles, loving the way the machines are telling him how I feel. His cocky grin says it all, and I can’t hide the blush that spreads to my cheeks.

Thankfully, we are interrupted by Rosa, who gives me some pain meds. I know it won’t be long before I’m out for the count. I know I’ll sleep a bit easier, safe in the knowledge that not only will Kellan watch over me while I sleep, he’ll be here when I wake up. He will always be here for me.

* * *

Ispent almost two weeks in the hospital. After I first woke up, I had a couple of days in the ICU, where I think I slept more than I was awake, but the more I healed, the better I felt. That’s when my care was downgraded and I was moved to the normal ward. Healing physically was surprisingly the easy part, it was my mental health that struggled the most. Every time I closed my eyes, without the help of medication, nightmares crippled me. I was forced to relive my worst moments in every painful detail, and after a while it became overwhelming. The darkness that has always lived on the outskirts of my life was slowly inching closer, consuming me.

I cried so much, and I retreated from the people that love me. I saw the hurt on Kellan’s face the more I pushed him away during the day, refusing to talk to him. Yet, I still clung to him at night, desperate for him to never leave me.

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