Page 73 of Trust In Me

After a while, the nurses began to notice the depression was slowly consuming me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Kellan didn’t have a word with them. From then on, I started seeing a counsellor. At first, while I was in hospital, it was every day. Natalia, my counsellor, would come and just sit with me. She could see how terrified I was being alone. Ever since I woke up, I’d never been alone. While Kellan visits Hallie, Bree and Liam, or one of the Doughty siblings, or even Kian, comes to check on me. I‘ve never dealt with being alone, until Natalia forced me to send Kellan out of the room. She wanted to take away my crutch. She said I had to learn to walk on my own, and yes, there will be times when I fall, but it’s all about learning to pick myself back up again.

To start with, we didn’t just talk about Kyle and the kidnapping, we talked about my whole life. All the pain, hurt, and abuse I’ve suffered for such a long time. Natalia said she was surprised I was as put together as I am. Most people who have suffered the way I have are so messed up, they don’t know how to live normal lives. For a while, that was my biggest fear.

Here in the hospital, I’m in a little bubble. But the better I got, the closer I got to bursting that bubble. Then I would have to go back to everyday life. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of going home with Kellan and Hallie, and living my life with them, that’s exactly what I want, and I’m so fucking grateful I get that opportunity. What I worry about is if I’m capable of doing the norm.

After almost a month in hospital, healing both mentally and physically, Natalia decided I was fit enough to go home. I was on a stable regime of medications to get my anxiety and depression under control, and I would probably need a lot of therapy for a while, which luckily Natalia agreed to do. I suspect Bree and Liam had something to do with that, given Natalia is a hospital-based counsellor, and once I’m discharged from the hospital, I should have had my care transferred to the community support team. But the day I was due to leave, Natalia informed me she would be working with me on a private basis, and that I could ring her at any time. Having that crutch there, just in case, was just what I needed.

“Are you ready to go home?” Kellan asks from his position in the doorway. Hallie’s in her pram, giggling away like this is the best thing she’s seen all day. I love the fact that she’s so happy all the time. She has a sweet innocence about her, and I sure as fuck am going to make sure she stays that way for as long as I can.

Looking around the room that has been my home for the last few weeks, Kellan has already taken all my things, including all the balloons and get-well-soon cards and gifts that I received. Taking a deep breath, there's still a slight ache, but it’s nothing compared to what I felt before. Holding my head up high, I smile at my family. “You bet your ass I am. Let’s get out of here,” I say, as I walk over to him and press my lips to his.

I must’ve fallen asleep on the drive home, my body’s still not completely healed and is struggling with the new meds I’m on. I should have known something was up when Bree and Liam didn’t come to the door to greet me. I know them. Bree would normally have flung the door open and dived at me. Yet the house looks eerily silent.

Kel helps me out of the car, and ignores me completely when I tell him I can manage by myself. He just wants to help. Once I’m on my own two feet, he opens the door to the back seat and lifts Hallie out of her car seat. She gives a big yawn along with a bit of a grumble, before she rests her head on her daddy’s chest, her big blue eyes wide awake, but her body too tired. Looks like someone else had a small nap on the short journey home too.

Kellan holds the baby in one arm and grabs my hand with the other. “What about the bags?” I ask, indicating that I’m more than capable of carrying my own bags. But he doesn’t let go of my hand, and continues pulling me towards the front door.

“I’ll come and get them later.” Kellan pushes me towards the door, and I push on the handle, surprised and slightly concerned to find the door unlocked. Even though they knew we were coming, Kian would still have a mini fucking heart attack if he knew the door had been left open, even for a fraction of a second. He’s a stickler for security, and I imagine now he’s living with us, it’ll be even worse.

The house is in darkness and it's so quiet, which is my first sign something isn’t quite right. This house has never been quiet in all the time I’ve lived here. As I walk towards the living room door, the only noise is Hallie’s occasional grumble from beside me. Kellan indicates for me to open the door, which confuses me, given he is standing right there and could do it.

As soon as the door is all the way open, the light goes on and cries of “Surprise” echo around the room. At first, I’m not going to lie, I jump so far out of my fucking skin. They fucking terrified me. But feeling Kellan squeeze my hand brings me back to the present and I realise there’s no danger. Just a room full of people who are all gathered to see me.

Everyone rushed to greet me. Freya, Ryleigh, and Bree are the first to pull me in for hugs. I have grown so close to the girls while helping plan Bree’s wedding, and I now class them as friends. Once Liam pulls the girls away, he steals a quick hug and tells me he’s pleased I’m home. Kian, Shane, and Finn do the same. I’m even more surprised to see Desmond and Evan have been invited. The boys have been getting closer to Evan, and Liam is starting to rekindle a friendship he thought was lost a long time ago. But nobody ever expected that Desmond would want to be part of the family. From what Kellan was telling me, they are still all on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to double-cross them, but I think they are wrong. I see the way Desmond looks at his children, including Kellan, a bright smile on his face as he takes them all in. I see the way he laughs and jokes with Hallie. He’s enjoying being part of the family, and I’m not sure he would ever risk that.

We order pizza and the gathering drags on into the evening. Kellan is constantly checking on me, asking me if I need pills, or if I need to lay down. I love that he cares about me so much, but he is being far too overprotective at the moment. After the party, I will make sure he knows. He can love me, but he can’t smother me. I don’t need that.

The bell rings, and we all look around at each other in confusion. Kian jumps to his feet, and announces he will get the door. I guess being head of security, the job does fall to him. Particularly when everyone we know is already in the room with us.

Everyone listens, desperate to catch even just a glimpse of who it could be. There are raised voices, but not loud enough for us to hear what is being said. Until finally Kian comes stomping back in, an annoyed look on his face.

“Mia, you have a visitor. I have explained that as you only got out of hospital today, it would be better if he comes back another day, but he won’t be told,” Kian grinds out through gritted teeth, the cheeky smile he’s famous for long gone.

“Who is it?” Kellan, Liam, and I ask, all at the same time. I tut at the overprotective men in my life, and I hear Bree giggle from beside me. I’m sure I hear her mumble something about me having to get used to it. It’s how they are made. I know she’s right. Liam’s overbearing with Bree too. In fact, he’s even worse now she’s pregnant.

“Your dad.” The voice floats through from behind Kian, and he opens the door wider to reveal Whitlock standing on the other side.

“No! Absolutely not. I told you in the hospital that you had to wait until she’s better before you visit. In fact, I believe I said I would prefer you never visit at all,” Kellan growls as he stands from the sofa, putting his body in between Whitlock and me.

There are so many people in the room, a few I would guess have some kind of weapon on their person, and I know of where a few weapons are close by, so I know I am in no danger, yet still Kellan wants to protect me. He knows how much my father has featured heavily in the therapy I’ve been having. He’s to blame for the torture and turmoil I’ve endured, and Kellan is trying to save me from re-living that.

“Kel, it’s okay.” I grab hold of his hand and pull him to sit beside me, before I straighten my back, hold my head up high, and with a strength I didn’t know I had, I face my abuser. “What do you want? You can say what you came here to say and then you can leave.”

Whitlock walks into the room, and Kellan indicates he can sit in the spare armchair opposite. I hear Liam off to the side grumbling about how we now have more furniture we need to burn. It took a lot of convincing to stop him from burning the sofa after Kellan’s mum’s visit. Taking a seat, I’m actually shocked by how small my father looks.

All my life, I’ve seen him as this big, intimidating man. He stole my childhood and my innocence, and for years he terrorised my dreams. He was then replaced by new monsters, but I always seem to come back to him. He’s the original abuser, the one who started it all. The one I won’t ever be able to forgive, no matter how much therapy I have.

“I just wanted to apologise for all the hassle you had from Kyle. I genuinely believed when I arranged the match that you would be a good fit. I had no idea he was mentally unhinged. I am in the process of getting everything in place so I can wipe out the entire Fratacello clan. I believe I have located his father, and I will make them pay for the disrespect they have caused me,” he spits, anger lacing every word, and I can’t help but laugh.

“Fucking unbelievable,” I mutter, more to myself than anyone.

“You will do no such thing, Mr. Whitlock. I know exactly where every member of the Fratacello family is, and they have my personal guarantee that they won’t be harmed. They played no part in what Kyle did, and they hurt none of my people. He asked for forgiveness, and I granted him it. So, as your leader, I’m telling you to stand down. Failure to do so will be seen as a direct act of opposition against me and my leadership.” Bree stands tall, her voice loud and strong, and I can’t help but fucking admire her. She’s talking to my father the way I always wished I could. She has the balls to stand up to him. There’s no denying his face crumples into disgust, like he isn’t happy about the fact that Bree’s giving him orders, but my father isn’t a stupid man. He holds his hands out in surrender, and lets Bree see that she has won.

“Fine. But I’m not happy about them getting away without being punished.”

Bree simply shakes her head, her voice resigned. “They’ve paid a high price. They watched their only son get killed and allowed it to happen. They lost their house, their business, and their only son in one day. I think they’ve been punished.”

My father turns from Bree, clearly no longer interested in what she has to say, and he addresses me instead. “Will you accept my apology? I will learn from this and the next suitor I find will be a much better match, I promise.”

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