Page 122 of Feels Like Home

“But explain to me why you would call Christine. Why not call me? You called her, but the school calledme?”

“Why does it matter? She was there for me. Just like I knew she wouldbe.”

“What do youmean?”

“Forget it,” Aidan mumbles, beginning to walkaway.

I grab his arm and bring him back to me, making him sit down with me on the couch. “I won’t forget it,Aidan.”

“Dad, I called her. She came. Because I wanted her there.” He shifts uncomfortably in his place, and I reach out a hand, touching his knee and shaking lightly to get hisattention.

“But notme?”

“It wasn’t that,” hegrumbles.

“Kiddo. It’s me. You know you can talk tome.”

He crosses his arms and glares in my direction. “It doesn’t matter. You left her. Like youcare.”

Ouch.

I wish so badly I could explain to them why Christine and I aren’t together. Why I felt betrayed all over again when I found out that she knew for years that Heather had a one-time affair with her husband. What bothered me the most was that betrayal hit me in the gut harder than when I walked in on Heather having sex with anotherman.

I guess if I were getting wishes granted, it would be that none of this ever happened in the first place. I’d wish that I wouldn’t be dealing with the knowledge that Christine is pregnant and I have no idea how I’m going to handle having a baby with a woman I’m no longer with. But wish I were. And still loved so deep down it’s rooted in my bones. A woman who, it seems, they still very much want in theirlives.

“I do care. But I care about you more. What’s going on with you? Why would you pick afight?”

“I already told you the story, Dad. It doesn’t matter! If you didn’t listen when we were in the principal’s office then it’s not like you’re going to listennow.”

I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly, trying to think of the words that will make the boys understandbest.

“I’m listening,” Ipromise.

“You’re not going to getmad?”

“I won’t. I just want the truth. Explain to me what happened today and why you called Christine to come to theschool.”

“I already told you what happened today,Dad!”

“I know you did, but I want to hear it again. Outside of the schoolwalls.”

“It wasn’t his fault, Dad,” Reece says as he steps forward. “Preston… he… he was egging him on. And I know we aren’t supposed to allow that to happen, but you don’t understand. He’s been picking at both of us since mom left. Always saying how our mom wasa…”

“Awhat?”

The boys glance at each other and do that annoying twin thing where they talk to each other without actually talking. “It’s not my word — it’s his, okay? So, don’t getmad.”

I clench my jaw and nod my headonce.

“Slut. He called her a slut. And a whore. And he said that we weren’t good enough. That even our slutty mom couldn’t love us or wantus.”

“Youknow…”

“We know! We know it’s not true! You tell us all the time that we’re enough and wanted. Whatever, Dad. You can say it all you want, but yeah, we heard. We heard how mom did that stuff with other guys. And last with… Preston. Nice name, right?” Reece’s voice comes outshaky.

Holy shit. They knoweverything.

And if they aren’t my kids, putting the two names together likethat.

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