Page 125 of Feels Like Home

“Of?”

“You. Us. All of it, my feelings for you. They didn’t come on slowly, building over time. I think that day that I walked into Dreamin’ Beans after walking in on Heather, I started falling. Whether it was because I found this person that understood what I was going through or if it was something deeper than that. I like to believe it wasdeeper.”

She nods like she understands, which makes me feel like I could climb theHimalayas.

“Mostly, I was afraid of how badly it hurt to think I had been betrayed by you, even though you weren’t the one who betrayed me. What scared me the most? When I saw Heather having sex with that guy? I felt nothing. Well no. I felt disgust, but my heart? It didn’t hurt.” I watch as her eyes soften, but not with pity. “I wasn’t bothered. But the tiny thought that you had kept this secret, this information from me? That you could have possibly been fooling me this entire time I was falling head over heels in love with you? It felt like I was beingcrushed.”

“But…”

“Let me finish. Please?” My voice is quiet,pleading.

She nods her head and takes a single stepdown.

“I love you. I love you more than I ever loved Heather. But that’s not the point. The point is that you brought something out of me I thought was gone. No. That’s not right. I didn’t even know it existed in me. I think I knew I loved you when you came with us to the cabin, then again when you saved me in the haunted house. Again, when you peed on a stick right in front of me to prove that I was right. But I fell in love all over again when you stood up for Aidan. When you said he wasyours. When you didn’t back down. When you completely ignored me in that room because I wasn’t the reason you were there. Please say I didn’t screw up too badly. Please tell me that I still have you. Thatwestill have you. That we’ll be able to raise her together. When we met, I was in a dark place. I admit that. But you? You made it light. You made everything in my world shinebrighter.”

I take another step closer, and she moves down the stairs so she’s on the second to bottom stair, but she’s still taller than me. Which is just fine. I like it that I get to look up to her in thismoment.

“Christine. Don’t let me go. Please. I know I have work to do. I know I don’t deserve you, but I’m begging you to give me that chance to prove to you that I can be worthy. I know I’m asking you for blind faith here. And honestly, I can’t guarantee anything. But, I can promise you one thing. I won’t treat your heart that way ever again. I’ll never make you doubt me or my love. I’ll never let you feel like you aren’t the best thing that ever happened tome.”

She presses her lips together tightly and places her hand on her stomach. I tentatively reach out and do the same. Her stomach is still small, not much of a bump there yet. We haven’t told a single person aside from our kids that she’s pregnant. I know our friends are curious. She hasn’t exactly been feeling thebest.

“Okay, so maybe one of the bestthings.”

“Yeah?” Her voice is full of the tears that are falling down her cheeks, and her smile iswatery.

“Yeah, baby. I love you so damnmuch.”

“I’m still pissed at you, youknow.”

“It’s the red streak in the hair. It makes you fiery.” I smile, and she bites herlip.

“That’s it,huh?”

I nod my head. “Prettysure.”

“Andy, I mean it when I say I’m still a littlepissed.”

“Actually, you said you were pissed. In ten seconds, you went from full on to just a little. I’m taking that as ascore.”

She rolls her eyes at me while I smile up ather.

I feel a raindrop and look up at the skies that are darkening, but it’s not affecting my mood. Because she’s not pushing me away, and I feel like I’m about to win the girl all over again. That doesn’t mean I’m not willing to pull out all the stops,though.

“Baby, please forgive me. I’m so sorry for saying that you betrayed me. I’m so sorry for making you feel like less. For making you feel like I thought of you the same way as I think of Heather. For all of it. I can’t live without you. I’m not saying I won’t fall again, but I won’t stay down. I’ll always rise up toyou.”

“Andy…”

“Please,” I plead, placing my forehead on her belly. I kiss the tiny bump and wrap my hands around her legs. “Please. Please. Please.Please.”

It’s full on raining now, and I don’t know if she can hear me because my voice is barely a whisper, but I’ll continue to beg. Continue to apologize until she tells me she forgives me. Until she says that she’s stillmine.

She lifts my head, her fingers cold from the rain, hair dripping wet, mascara streaking down herface.

“I always will, Andy. I will always forgive you. We hit a bump. You acted like an ass. I knew you’d come around.” She shrugs her shoulders like it’s nothing to her. “I learned a long time ago that time is precious. Not forgiving someone is a hell of a lot harder in the long run. Holding on to that hurt and anger just blackens the soul. You will always be forgiven. You will always be myheart.”

I stand, taking her face in my hands, and waste no time pressing my lips to hers. My heart feels like it could burst straight out of my rain-soaked t-shirt. The feel of her lips, her tongue tangling with mine, her fingers gripping mywaist.

“Don’t let me leaveagain.”

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