Page 134 of Feels Like Home

“What could have possibly caused this bizarre illness?” This from Josh; he winks atBarrett.

“Is she still upset about your moronic behavior? Or was it something else youdid?”

I almost roll my eyes at their ridiculousness. Instead, I shrug my shoulders and fain indifference. “Could be anything, really. But my best guess would be that it’s because she’s…” I stop and look around theroom.

“Yeah?”

“She’s…”

Josh falls out of his chair, the wheels on the bottom spinning around. He quickly recovers, setting it back up and taking a seat as if nothinghappened.

“Out with it, dammit!” Barrett hollers then presses his lips together tightly like he didn’t just have anoutburst.

“She’s pregnant, allright?”

The two idiots high five each other without taking their eyes off me. I chuckle, shake my head, and lean up to high-five their now outstretched hands in my direction. Soon they’re pulling me out of my seat and wrapping me up in a Barrett and Josh sandwich. It should be awkward — with any other two people it probably would be. But with them, it’s just what youexpect.

Barrett reaches into his desk and pulls out a bottle of whiskey and three shot glasses. Seems odd to me he had those at the ready, butwhatever.

“Shots! To the newdaddy!”

“Opa!” Josh shouts. I think he secretly wants to be European. He’s always trying out different accents and words, whether they’re British, Italian, or today’s choice, Greek. None of them really work, his British, Irish, and even Australian accents pretty much crossover, but he tries,nonetheless.

Barrett knocks back his shot without even flinching at Josh’s word. I chuckle but do the same. I feel the burn all the way down. How people can do shots without making faces is beyondme.

“You just happened to have thathere?”

He shrugs. “I may have brought it in when we started suspecting. And when you asked for the meeting, I had to fight back bringing in cigars,too.”

“Did I miss it?” The door to their office swings open so hard it hits the wall, and James’s voice booms from the doorway. He notices our empty shot glasses and narrows his eyes at Barrett. “Dammit! I did, didn’t I? I told you to hold himoff!”

“It’s okay, brother, better luck next time.” Barrett reaches into his drawer and pulls out a fourth shot glass, fills it to the brim, and slides it over to his brother-in-law. James tips it back then lifts his glass in mydirection.

“So, is ittrue?”

“What’s that?” I askhim.

“Don’t play dumb with me, man. Is it true? Are we expecting a little bun in Christine’soven?”

“We?”

All three men look at me like I’m dumb. “Of course, we!” Josh shouts like he’s offended, and the other two nod their heads inagreement.

“How is this a joint effort with you threeassholes?”

“Umm, because we’re going to be the little squirt’s uncles. Duh,” Barrett says as though it’sobvious.

“I’m a little disappointed and hurt that you even had to ask that,” James says, shaking hishead.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, praying this whole ordeal is going easier for Christine than it is forme.

“So, what’s the plan?” Barrett asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. What I thought would have been the worst day of my life, turned out to be thebest.

“Plan?”

“Man, you’re so out of it. Of course, plan. What’snext?”

“What’s next is we’re having a baby. She’s freaked out, too. It’s not like she’s that young, youknow?”

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