Page 5 of Feels Like Home

She shrugs her tiny shoulders. “I never saw the need to tell anyone. And we found out about the cancer so soon after. Well,hehad just found out that day. It just seemed less important in light of the whole C word being thrown atus.”

“How did you stay with him? After that? And care for him when he needed it? My gosh, Christine. You must be the best person on thisplanet.”

“Nah, I’m just a mom. Y’know? Bri was only twelve years old at the time. I wasn’t going to have herlastmemories of her dad be of him cheating on her mom. And I didn’t want to be responsible for her having the wrong idea of what a husband is like. He was a great father and aside from that, he really was a great husband, too. Despite it all, I still loved him. He screwed up — literally — but that didn’t change the fact that he was my husband and I loved him. Might make me sound weak, but sometimes forgiveness is harder to give, and forgetting doesn’t happen, but it’s something that will eat you alive if you allow it to. I wasn’t willing to allow itto.”

“That’s the furthest thing from weak you could get, Christine. Seriously. Giving someone forgiveness for something they don’t deserve forgiveness for is the bravest, strongest thing you coulddo.”

“Thank you.” Her voice is soft, and a slight tinge of blush colors hercheeks.

“Do you… I guess, do you know who the womanwas?”

She looks at me briefly and looks away again. “Yeah, I do. She wasn’t a friend of mine, if that’s what you werewondering.”

I take a deep breath and lean forward, my elbows on my knees, hands clasped together and head lowered. “So now what do Ido?”

“What do youmean?”

I raise my head to look at her. “I’ve given her my life, Christine. I don’t know where to go from here. What my next move should be. What I’m gonna tell theboys.”

“What is your gut telling you?” She leans her side against the back of the couch, again her head resting on her hand, and I follow her lead but don’t turn to her. Instead, I rest my head on the back and look to theceiling.

“My gut… my gut is telling me to stay the hell away fromher.”

“And yourheart?”

“My heart is telling me to stay farther than the hell away fromher.”

She giggles, this light and tinkly sound that has me smiling, lolling my head to the side to look at her, despite the events that have transpired over the last fewhours.

“Well, Andy, you’re what? Thirty-four? Thirty-five?”

“Thirty-five,” I tell her, though I don’t really know why I clarify when I could have justnodded.

“Dang, you’reyoung.”

“Oh, please. How old are you? You’re about my age,yeah?”

“Oh, you’re good.” She smiles shaking her head, her dark hair falling over her shoulder in theprocess.

“What?” I ask, not being able to hold back the smile that is overtaking myface.

“I’m forty-one!” she exclaims, pointing toherself.

“No way!” My eyes widen. There’s no way she’s that old. Though, I suppose, since her daughter is a senior in high school it would make sense. But still… she looks younger than me! I take a few moments to look closer at her. She resembles Mila Kunis. Long dark hair, beautiful round face, flawless skin, her only difference is the eyes. Hers are a much brighter green, huge and sparkling withhappiness.

“Whatever. I’m old — just don’t go spreading that around. Anyway. Like I was saying, you’re young! You’re thirty-five. You have your entire life ahead of you,dude.”

“Dude?” I smirk, and she reaches over to punch me lightly in theshoulder.

“Stop interruptingme!”

“Sorry,” I tell her with my hands raised, smiling in her direction. I lean back farther into the couch and take another sip ofcoffee.

“I never imagined being here,” I scoff, scrubbing a hand down myface.

“You seriously didn’t know?” I can hear the disbelief in hervoice.

“Oh, I knew. Trust me. She’s not very sneaky. This wasn’t her first time, I’m afraid. But I know what you mean when you say you were keeping it to yourself for Bri’s sake. I kept quiet, not wanting the boys to be affected. I knew it would come to a head at some point, but I just never imagined having toseeit. Know what Imean?”

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