Page 53 of Feels Like Home

“No. We want tosee!”

“For real? That's kinda gross, isn'tit?”

“Not gross! It's so satisfying. You'll love it. Then you'll be addicted to it and want to do it all thetime.”

“Come on,” I tell her, dragging her to mybathroom.

“Now? In here? In front ofy’all?”

“Damn right. This is gonna be awesome. Don't take away our happiness, Carly. That's not what true friendsdo.”

Lauren, folks. Mastermanipulator.

I reach into the closet in the bathroom and pull out thebox.

“You have them on hand?” Carlyshrieks.

“Keep up, Carly. We said it wasaddicting.”

“Yeah,but…”

“Oh, stop being such a baby! Get yourself wet, ok? It won't workdry.”

“How wet do I need tobe?”

“Not like dripping — you don't want it to just slipaway.”

“Okay, holdstill.”

“Wait. Let me getready.”

What the heck does she need to getready?

“How do you need to get ready?” Tess voices my questionaloud.

“Just… let me take a breath. I've never done this before! I'm kind of nervous, and you guys are watching! You could turn around, youknow.”

Lauren scoffs and sticks her hand out to shake, “Hi, I'm Lauren. Nice to meet you for the very first timeever.”

“Okay, fine. Just tell me if I'm doing it wrong. I mean… look what happened the last time I took your advice with my hoo-hah! I almost had to live the rest of my life on the bathtub! I'm not going through thatagain!”

Seriously, someone needs to tell me thestory!

Tess brushes away hercomplaint.

“You need to get wet again since it dried up while you were delaying. It’s not like you need to be dripping wet. Just enoughto…”

“Fine! Okay, so I just need to get myself wetthen…”

“Christine?” I hear Andy’s amused voice come through thedoor.

“Yeah? We’re in here, Come onin!”

“Uhh, not sure I'm supposed to come in there.” I think his voice actually cracks at the end. He clears his throat. “Right?” His voice is full offear.

The girls and I look at each other, trying not to laugh. The conversation he must have overheard coming to me, and oh yeah… we need to make thisgood.

“Yeah, maybe you're right. We’re notexactly…”