Page 85 of Feels Like Home

“I’m not gonna pee myself. I’m not gonna pee myself. I’m not gonna frickin’ pee myself!” Ishout.

“Where are the boys? Are theyokay?”

“It’s every man for himself, Christine. They lost the right to have us save them when they left us behind. Just keep going,” I tell her, taking deep breaths and gingerly stepping around another corner, trying to keep my back against thewall.

I peek around once quickly, jerking back. I don’t see anything, so I take a step, only to have a mummy of some sort try to attack me. “Ahhh! Stop! Stop! No. You’re not real. You’re notreal.”

“Andy? Where are you? Are youokay?”

“It’s not real.” I keep repeating it, my eyes squeezed shut. She grabs hold of my arm, making me scream loudly again and jump out of my skin. My heart is pounding so hard, it feels like it could explode from my chest. I place my hand over my heart then feel for apulse.

She rolls her eyes at me. “Dramatic,much?”

I stop and look her in the eye. “I almost died,Christine.”

She scoffs then we step around another corner, moving some hanging bodies out of the way because, you know, that’snormal. As soon as I’m clear of the bodies, another one falls from the ceiling, right in front of us. I fall to the ground, taking Christine with me, and start army crawlingaway.

“Hurry! Hurry! Just keep going! We got this. I promise. We can do this. Just keepgoing.”

We step into a room that looks oddly normal, which of course makes me on edge. I have my arms around her, making it darn near impossible to walk, my legs on either side of hers, but I won’t letgo.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. We’re fine! Did you hear that?” I shout. “We’re not scared! We know you’re notreal!”

And even though I knew something was going to happen in the completely normal bedroom, I didn’t expect a herd of zombie clowns to come tearing through thewalls.

“Ahhh! Lord help us! No! Mother of shiiiiiit!Help!”

“Andy!Run!”

I take off sprinting, pulling Christine along withme.

“My heart! I can’t!” Christine’s panting, and it gives me an oddly satisfied feeling to know that she’s as terrified as I am, given the fact that she was so sure of herself just momentsago.

“I thought you justlovehaunted houses? Not so tough now, areyou?”

“I do love them! The getting scared part is the best! I never said I didn’t get scared while going throughthem!”

She barely gets the words out when another bloody zombie (never watching The Walking Dead again, thank you very much) comes at us, jumping into our path before lunging in ourdirection.

We both screech and jump away, her back slams into my front, and I wrap my arms around her. I would like to say it’s because I’m trying to protect her, but really, it’s just to keep it away fromme.

“We’re fine. We’re okay. We’re almost there.” She’s trying to assure both of us. “Did you pee? I haven’t peed. I didn’t pee mypants.”

Wearealmost there. Which means something scary as hell is about tohappen.

We come to an opening that looks like we’re at theend…

“Baaahhhh!!!!”

Something hits us both from behind, and Christine and I crouch down and swing with our arms at whatever is screaming at us and about to attack us, eat our brains and leave us fordead.

Clearly, we haven’t been watching too much TWD orsomething.

Then we hear the telltale signs of three little shits laughing atus.

24

Andy

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