Page 1 of All I Need

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE shitting me!” I shout wondering how this could be happening. Again.

“Oh fuck,” Gary grunts, eyes wide when he finally notices me standing in the same room. He shoves himself back into his tuxedo pants and scrambles off my maid of honor, Crystal.

Her bridesmaid dress, the one we picked out together, is bunched up around her waist. She squeals and quickly covers up her lower half as Gary stands up.

I look down at my own wedding attire, the gown I fought against buying because I was too nervous that it was all too good to be true, suddenly feels like a weighted blanket dragging my body down.

Slowly, I drop to my knees, the fabric of my dress billowing around me as the realization of what I just walked into hits me. My stomach threatens to dispel the light lunch I ate earlier in the day and my nose stings, the telltale sign I’m about to start crying. Which pisses me off almost as much as the fact that I just walked in on my fiancé, the man I was moments away from marrying, screwing my maid of honor. Crystal and I have known each other for almost ten years. We shared a home, clothes—hell, even a car for a while when we couldn’t afford to own one on our own. Apparently, she thought the sharing part of our relationship extended to men as well.

Clearly, I’m not a good judge of character since this is the second time this has happened to me.

Though, the first time I assumed it was because I was young and naïve. I can’t say the same for now.

Tears threaten to spill over when I spot Crystal’s shoes in different corners of the room like they couldn’t wait to tear each other’s clothes off. The garment bag that held my dress is still hanging from the back of the door that Crystal hung it from when she carried it in here just a few short hours ago.

The wrapping paper from the small gift box I unwrapped when we first arrived. Gary had it waiting for me when we got here. A gold necklace, a heart pendant with a small diamond in the center. I felt so ungrateful as I opened it and wondered why that was the gift he chose for me. The necklace looked as if he found it in a pawn shop and if they’d had a decades’ section, it would have been smack dab in the 80’s.

It didn’t match my other jewelry for today so I had placed it back in the box without another thought. I scoff, realizing it should have been a major clue as to how little he gave a shit about me. Gary and Crystal have been silent while I’ve been going through my little break down. Stealing my nerves, I grab hold of the chair I collapsed next to and stand up on shaky legs and run my hands over the skirt of my dress and walk over to the door, opening it up and poking my head out to look down the hallway. Spotting one of my bridesmaids, I holler, “Allison! I need you to get me out of this.”

A look of shock crosses her face until I open the door to the room wider. She looks beyond me, sees my fiancé and maid-of-honor looking like they just got done with a fuck-fest.

“Ellie…”

“Now, Allison,” I shout at her, feeling seconds away from having a full-blown panic attack as I rip my veil off my head and throw it to the floor.

She rushes to my back and with quick fingers, undoes the buttons that held up my dress. With each release of the small pearl from the threaded loop I feel a sense of relief I wasn’t expecting.

When the buttons are finally undone, I allow the dress to unceremoniously drop to the floor. As the dress pools at my feet, the only sound I hear other than my own breathing is Gary’s sharp intake of breath. When I slipped on the white lace bra and panties set this morning, I knew he’d love it. It isn’t lost on me how sexy I look like this. At thirty-four, I work hard to maintain the natural curves my body holds. I’m not full of myself but I am aware of my body, of the curves I’ve been blessed with and the work I put into staying relatively fit.

My ashy blonde hair is styled in beach wave curls, flowing over my shoulders, kissing the top of my full breasts while the sides are pulled back with rhinestone-studded clips. The lavender scrub I applied earlier has left my skin soft but it’s the coconut oil I applied this morning that has left my skin glowing. The makeup applied by the glamour squad is a little heavier than normal but still tasteful, the goal to highlight my bright blue eyes. Bending down, I pick up my dress and walk over to Crystal and drop it at her feet. “Now I know why you wanted me to pick this dress so bad. You must have wanted it for yourself, just like you wanted Gary for yourself.”

Still in only my bra, panties, and sparkly peep toe heels, I face the fuckers who knew damn good and well what they were doing and how it would affect me.

“Crystal, what did you do?” Allison asks in a whisper.

“I didn’t…”

I don’t let her finish whatever bullshit she’s about to start spewing and whip around to face Gary. “I hope your dick gets gangrene,” I point to Gary and he covers his crotch area as if I actually have those kinds of powers. I wish. Then I turn my finger to Crystal. “And you. May you buy a bra that you don’t wash before wearing and it makes your tits look like a lotus flower pod,” I tell her, referring to a post that went viral several years ago. It freaked her the fuck out because of her trypophobia.

Her gasp makes me smile. It’s possible I’m being a bitch but I think the situation calls for it.

Allison giggles behind me. I look at her and she quickly covers her mouth, her eyes wide. She moves her hand and raises it in front of her. “Sorry, sorry. Not the right time, I know. It’s just… the lotus flower pod! That was the freakiest thing I’d ever seen. So gross.” Her giggles turn to full on laughter. I press my lips together because I thought it was pretty funny, too, but figure if I start laughing now then I’ll lose all my credibility. Allison takes a deep breath and blows it out. “Okay. I’m good. But know that was a good one.”

Gary reaches for my hand but I yank it back, holding it close to my body so he can’t get near me. “Ellie… fuck. I’m so sorry.”

“Because you got caught?” I ask, hands to my hips. “Just tell me one thing. How long?”

His face pales and Crystal whimpers.

“I don’t want to know, do I?”

Gary glances at Crystal and she bites her lip, shaking her head slowly, gaze pinned to the floor. She sniffs and he looks back at me. “I deserve to know,” I tell them. “You knew my fears. Both of you were there when Michael left me at the alter five years ago, which makes you two even bigger assholes in this situation.”

“New Year’s Eve,” he whispers and I close my eyes against the hurt.

Six months ago.

One week after he proposed.

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