Page 123 of All I Need

It’s something we’ve both worried a little about. We’re not exactly going to be young parents. In fact, in reality, we could be Amber’s parents. These babies’ grandparents. That’s not something that’s particularly enjoyable to think about.

But we’re healthy, determined, and we have each other. Not to mention a bevy of other friends and family who plan to smother us with love and help.

Rushing around, we throw on some clothes and grab the bags we’ve had packed for three weeks now. With a quick glance into the bedroom we remodeled, I do my best to tamp down the desire to throw up. Nervousness over the changes to come.

We climb into our newer SUV and rush to the hospital, not wanting to miss a single moment of watching our babies come into the world.

“We’re here for Amber. We’re the…”

“Parents. We’re the babies’ parents,” Ellie says, elation in her voice. The adrenaline is hitting her, she can barely stand still.

“She’s right this way, she let us know to expect you.”

The door is closed and the nurse knocks softly.

“Come in,” Amber says, her voice strained. “Oh thank God. I thought you guys were going to miss…” she grunts as a contraction hits her. “This. Holy crap, Ellie, this hurts!”

Ellie rushes to her side, gripping her hand tightly. “I’m so sorry. I would take the pain away if I could.”

Amber smiles, though it’s weak. “I know. Worth it, but dang, these two are fighting their way out.”

I move to the other side of her, careful not to get a look down below. I’m anxious to see our babies come into the world but there are some things a man just doesn’t need to witness from a woman who isn’t his wife.

“We’re right here for you. Squeeze our hands,” I say when I’m by her side.

Ellie has a cold, wet cloth pressed to Amber’s forehead and between the nurse, doctor, and Ellie, it’s like Amber has her own cheerleading squad. I stay mostly quiet, overwhelmed. I meet Ellie’s eyes over Amber and it brings an instant wave of comfort. We’ve got this. Together.

Standing on either side of Amber while contraction after contraction hits her with the force of a truck, we resist the urge to wince when she squeezes our hands so tightly I’m afraid she could break a finger.

“One more push, Amber,” the doctor says to my right.

She grunts, curling her body up and pushes with all her might.

The sound of the baby A’s cry fills the room and I stand straight, watching in awe as the nurse cleans the baby up, preparing for the next baby’s arrival.

I want so badly to move from my place next to Amber but she’s giving us her babies and has no one else. She needs our support.

Still, it’s killing me. To know one of my babies is here, ready to be held, loved on, kissed and adored. It’s been months of waiting and nervousness and worries but now that it’s time, I’m so ready to just get to the next stage. Get back home with our babies and start our new life together, sleepless nights and all.

With just a few more pushes, baby B’s cries are heard. Ellie bursts into tears. I have a sudden wetness coating my cheeks I didn’t anticipate. The three of us are crying and sweating, though I’m sure Amber’s cries and sweat is partly from pain also.

Once the babies are cleaned up, swaddled in a blanket with a tiny knit cap covering their little fuzzy heads, the nurse walks over to Ellie, places baby A in her arms then brings baby B to me. We hold them close. Smell their new baby smell. Introduce them to the woman who gave us our new life. Shower them with the love and kisses we’ve been dying to give them since we first saw the pair on the ultrasound, facing each other and cuddling.

“You’re a daddy,” Ellie whispers, eyes brimmed with tears and a smile that lights up the room.

“And you’re a mommy.”

We smile at each other, tears continuing to spill out of our eyes. We kiss, babies pressed against our chests between us. I’ve never been more grateful for the life I’ve been given. Here in this tiny room I have all I need and I don’t plan on ever letting it go.

Addison Paulina McKinstry graced our world at 5:13 AM

Followed shortly by her younger brother,

Bryant Paul McKinstry screaming in at 5:18 AM

Paulina was chosen as a tribute to her grandmother, of course. Paul, after me but a play on Paulina. Because we’ll forever be grateful for the woman who showed us unconditional love.

In only a matter of five minutes, our family of fourteen turned into a family of seventeen. Amber too will forever be ours.

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