Page 69 of All I Need

Walker: Everything okay? You left work kind of in a hurry.

Walker: Did something happen?

Walker: You’re making me nervous. Please reply so I know you’re okay.

Walker: You have dinner tonight with Courtney, right? If you don’t want me showing up at the restaurant, reply so I know you’re okay.

Walker: Last chance, Ellie, then I’m coming to find you.

Shit.

I quickly shoot off a quick text to him.

Me: I’m fine! I’m fine! Sorry. Just had some things come up.

Walker: Are we okay?

If me being a crazy pants is okay, then yeah. I saw Walker brush off that Brooklyn girl but she was just… ugh. It’s hard to come back from two failed relationships because the men in your life turned to someone so much… more than you.

How do I explain to him that it’s hard for me to see him being so clearly wanted by other women and not feel that irrational fear that he’s going to cheat on me just because of the attention he’s receiving from her?

Me: Why wouldn’t we be?

Walker: We’re going to talk this out. I don’t know what happened this afternoon, but tomorrow night after we close up the clinic, don’t make plans.

Double shit.

Me: I promise nothing is wrong.

Walker: Don’t make plans.

Me: Alright.

Walker: Have fun at dinner with Courtney tonight. If you need a ride, please call me.

Me: Brett already said he’d drive us.

Walker: I repeat. Call me if you need a ride home.

Triple shit. Why is it that him being demanding is such a turn on? And worse yet, why does it make me want to do the opposite to see what he’ll do?

“I hate that girl. It’s a terrible thing to say, that you hate someone, but it’s true. She’s such a pushy bitch,” Courtney grumps, causing me to hiccup through a laugh.

The margaritas have been going down far too easily tonight, especially considering that I’m not a big drinker. I don’t have a high tolerance for alcohol and now on my third refill, I’m already feeling pretty tipsy.

“It’s not her fault, though. I mean, have you seen Walker? He’s like… gah! All the heart eyes,” I draw an imaginary heart in the air then make my hands flash. She giggles and nods her head.

“I know. He so is. I love Brett, I really do. He’s sexy and un-fucking-believable in bed but damn… I bet Walker will be able to give you alllllll the orgasms.”

“Oh man, I hope so. Did you know that I haven’t had sex for over TWO months?” I shove two fingers in the air and she slaps the table.

“No way,” she cries out, eyes bulging. “You didn’t tell me that!” she exclaims like we’ve been best friends our whole lives and I’ve been holding out on her, rather than the basically strangers that we are. Inebriated and talking about sex like we’re at a high school sleepover.

“I know,” I sigh dramatically. “Although, Gary was baaad in the sack. I’m talking little wiener, saggy balls, skinny arms bad.” That’s not entirely true, but he doesn’t deserve praise of any other kind so I’m sticking with it. Plus, she’ll never meet him anyway so what’s it gonna hurt? Is it mean? Yup. Do I care? Nope.

“Eww. Why would you stay with him? Why did he have saggy balls? Was he old?”

“I don’t know!” I almost shout then slam a hand over my mouth. “And no. He didn’t really have saggy balls. He wasn’t old. Just… since he ended up being a lying cheat, I’m glad that I hadn’t had sex with him for a while. But honestly, it’s not like I don’t have a libido. I just wasn’t really missing out on anything with him. Now I know why he never pressured me, either. He was getting plenty on the side.”

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