Page 16 of Gone for You

“Well, now that I’ve spilled my sad story, tell me about your family.”

“They’re loud. Crazy. Sometimes annoying because they’re always in my business. But it wasn’t a fairytale either.”

“How’s that?”

“My parents got a divorce right after I graduated from high school. That day we met, when I stayed with Owen? That was because I was so sick of being around them fighting and I couldn’t take it another minute. For me, it came out of nowhere. My brother swears that he saw it coming even though he was already away at college when everything got bad between them.”

“Ugh. That blows. So they didn’t fight a lot while you were growing up?”

Shaking my head. “Not when we were kids, no. The fighting didn’t really start until later. I still look back at that time and am confused. They werekind ofunhappy, I guess, but then they seemed to rally. It was like they found a love for each other again. But then just as quickly as they’d found that love, it seemed to vanish. I don’t know.” I shrug. The sting of that time still burns. It’s been ten years but it happened during a time where too many things were changing – and it took me by surprise – so it hit me harder than it did Owen. I was getting ready to graduate high school, leave for college and… had just lost my virginity. I was very dramatic about everything because I was seventeen.

“That sounds rough.”

“It was at the time. They’re friendly toward one another now. Neither have remarried. What about your dad? He married?”

“Nope. Never.”

Wow. “Never dated anyone serious?”

He shakes his head. “He’s content being single.”

I want to ask but don’t know if I dare. Instead, I press on my lower lip with my thumb, bite down. “Wow.”

He barks out a laugh. “Just ask. I know you’re dying to know.”

“What do you mean?” I try to ask as innocently as possible.

His eyebrows shoot up.

“Oh fine! I can’t stand it! But what about,” I drop my voice to barely above a whisper, “sex. He’s just… never? I mean, how is that possible? Doesn’t he have… needs?”

He cocks his head. “Needs?”

“You know what I mean. Like, the need to be with a woman? Or maybe he likes men now, because that’d be cool, too. But yeah, I would think he’s what, at least like fifty? How can he go his entire life without,you know. I know I couldn’t do it, go without, that.” Then, to drive home my embarrassment, I make a hand gesture and follow it up by pointing at his crotch before mine again along with another gesture. He laughs so hard our waitress looks our way.

“Holy shit,” he wheezes through his words and laughter, wiping away a tear. “I don’t even know where to start.”

I touch my cheeks which are flaming with heat. God, please just strike me dead. “Shut up!”

“So I take it when you’re nervous you ramble?”

“How’d you guess?” I mumble grumpily.

“To ease your concerns over my father’ssexuallife,” he teases, “I’m pretty sure he managed just fine. He told me once he’d never bring a woman into our home until I was out of school. He wanted to focus on raising me. I know he dated a little bit. But, he had a regular “friend,” he says with finger quotes, “Aunt Jessie wasarounda whole lot, if you get my drift. I actually begged him to marry her once but he was adamant that he was happy the way it was.”

“So why aren’t they together now that you’re an adult?”

His face drops and I hate that I asked because I have a feeling what he’s about to say is going to be awful. “She, um, died. I was in my senior year of college and having a hard time. It was winter and the roads were shit. She didn’t care. When Jessie set her mind to something, nothing could get in her way and she was sure they needed to come visit me, no matter how much I protested and told them I’d be fine. They, of course, ignored me. She and dad, they, lost control, hit a tree and she didn’t make it.”

I gasp. I can’t help it. The look on his face, the sound of his voice, it’s clear his dad wasn’t the only one who thought the world of Jessie.

“Yeah. I struggled for a long time with guilt because even though I told them not to come, I knew they would. If they found out I was suffering in the slightest, they’d both move mountains to get to me.”

“And your dad? How did he handle it?”

He looks away, squints like he’s trying to focus on something in the distance. “Not good. Regret is a bitch and he has enough to fill an ocean. He wasted years under this crazy assumption that he couldn’t go after his own happiness because it would take away from me.” He laughs but it lacks any trace of humor. “Jessie? She was the love of his life and the only mom I ever knew. I have few memories of my childhood that don’t include her.”

“Ethan…”

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