Page 84 of Gone for You

I giggle, bite my lip, looking at the tent in his dress pants. “Oh, I think it’s definitely worth it.”

“I’m not sure that really applies the way you’re thinking it does.”

“Okay, maybe not.”

“Liv, you’ve gotta know that I’m nervous, too. I understand your fears. My own mother left me without a second glance. My grandparents wanted nothing to do with me. There’s a reason I’m still single. Everyone but my dad has left me and that’s not something I’ve ever really come to terms with. It won’t be easy, but we can figure it out as we go. Together.”

“Together,” I sigh. “I like that.”

He nods his agreement before his mouth crashes down on mine and we move together to his bedroom. We struggle to remove the rest of our clothes while our mouths are still glued together, he unbuttons his shirt and shifts out of it while I reach around, straining to unzip my dress.

The button and hook on his pants is becoming troublesome and annoying. I let out a curse and he chuckles, moving my hands out of the way. With a quick flick of his wrist, his pants are undone and I get back to work, shoving them down his thick thighs along with his navy blue and white striped boxer briefs. He toes off his shoes and bends down, tugging his pants over his ankles before removing his socks.

Once we’re both naked, we fall onto the mattress in a tangle of limbs. My hands reach out, wanting to touch every inch of him as if it’s our first time together.

His hands roam over my body, caressing, massaging, tickling. Ethan’s touch makes my skin sizzle, my pulse race and my mouth to drop open as I gasp for air.

I kiss his shoulder, the soft, sexy, tender area near his collarbone. His fingers dance along my skin as they make their way to my center and my legs shamelessly drop open, my knees fall to the mattress. He plays around, teasing me and bringing me to the brink of orgasm before pulling away, twirling figure eights on my inner thigh. I do my best not to squirm but it’s damn near impossible. His feather-light touches are driving me wild with need.

I groan when his fingers come into contact with the most sensitive part of me. He’s learned how to work my body, knows best how to pull orgasms out of me in the most intense of ways.I let my hand drift down his chest, twirl a fingertip around his pierced nipple, and goosebumps pebble his skin. Pride flows through my veins knowing how I affect him. the tips of my fingers trailing over his tight abs before gripping him lightly. He groans, dropping his forehead to my neck and I smile, I’ve learned how to work his body, too. But even knowing, it’s exciting and addictive every time. I gasp when his fingers twist together, causing my grip to tighten as I pull.

He shifts and rolls over top of me. I can’t take my eyes off him as he takes himself in his hand, rubbing against me before plunging inside. I cry out as he fills me up, my back arching off the mattress and head pressing into the pillow beneath my head. I wrap my legs around his waist, hooking my ankles together, and grip his arms, my fingers digging into biceps. He flexes, neck strains, eyes bore into me.

“So beautiful. You’re mine, right?” he growls and I know he’s not saying it because it’s in the heat of the moment. Or because he thinks I want to hear it. He’s laying his heart on the line, letting me know how much he’s in. Emotion swirls in his eyes, tears spring to mine and I’m aware of how big this moment is.

I nod my head vigorously, the words getting stuck in my throat.

A tear slips out of my eye and he bends low, kissing it away.

I do love him. So much. And I think he loves me, too. I hope, anyway.

Our release hits us at the same time, his coming out in a roar and mine a whimper. And later in the night, when he’s holding me close, he whispers, how he plans to marry me and wants to raise children together and go on vacations and have date nights.

He promises life will be okay, that Owen won’t be an issue. That he would never do anything to hurt me.

“I’m falling for you, Liv. Hard,” he says in a way that sounds like it’s been on the tip of his tongue. “We’ll make it work together, you’ll see.”

“I’m so scared, Ethan. I want this with you, but my fears, they run deep. All I’ve seen is people leaving each other and looking for something different… I don’t know how to do this, but I want to try.”

“Don’t be scared.” He kisses me firmly before turning me so my back is to his front and we’re spooning.

And I know, as much as it kills me, I still don’t deserve him. I never will, but I promised I would try and I will.

A tear slips out, soaking into the pillow I’ve laid my head on for the last week. The tears won’t stop coming so I climb out of bet quietly and go sit in the living room. I sit on the couch, look out the window at the dark sky, tucking my knees to my chest.

I told him I was ready to stop hiding and I mean it. But here in the dark, my anxiety creeps in, the bitch that it is. I do my best to do what he asked me to do. To beat it back, dig deep and see that it’s okay for me to be so gone for him. I know I can do it.

His phone rings and I consider letting it go, even though it’s weird that it’s ringing at three in the morning. But as soon as it quits, it starts up again. I grab from where it’s plugged in on the end table and turn it over. The screen lights up withDadand my stomach drops. If his dad is calling at this hour, it can’t be good.

“Hello?”

Silence greets me for a few beats before, “You must be Olivia.”

A little tingle rolls down my spine with happiness that he told his dad about me.

“Yes, this is Olivia.”

“I wish I was meeting you under different circumstances but I really need to talk to Ethan.”

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