Page 91 of Gone for You

“Sticks and stones, my dear. Sticks and stones.”

“Ugh. Why are you so chill? Shouldn’t I be able to throw something at you about how you deserve to live by yourself when I want to be left alone and it makes you want to leave?” I’m not sure if that made any sense out loud like it did in my head but I don’t have it in me to care. Instead, I yank the blanket from her and hide underneath once again.

“Because it’s a hell of a lot better for my heart to move on than stick in the past. Now. Go take a shower because you’ve just about stunk up this entire place.”

She rips the blanket off me entirely and throws it out of my reach. “Mom!”

“Livvy Loo!”

“Don’t mock me. I’m…”

“Broken hearted?”

“No.” She gives me the “mom look” that means she knows everything. “How did you know that?”

“I called Lily. I haven’t heard from you in a while and was tired of being ignored, figured she’d know what was up. You finally fell in love. And you were too scared to stay and fight.”

I gape and point at her. “I. Was. Not. In. Love. How would that even be possible when I didn’t evenknowhim until five months ago?”

“Oh honey. Bless your heart. And don’t point, it’s not becoming of a lady.”

“You aren’t southern. Whatever you’re trying—” My finger does a figure-eight over her face. “Doesn’t work.”

“Pish posh.”

I close my eyes, take a deep breath. “Pish posh? Mom. Stop. Just. Stop.”

“Okay then. Why are you fighting your heart?”

“I don’t know that I really am,” I admit.

“Honey, you know you’re in love with this guy.”

“Ethan,” I correct her, because he’s not just ‘this guy.’ “It has nothing to do with love, Mom. It’s about what I deserve – and clearly, I deserve this.”

“You’re wrong. It’s about protection.”

I sit quietly, hating that she’s right. Another reason that I don’t deserve him. I care more about protecting my heart from being trampled on than I do about him. I’m a horrible person. “Yes,” I whisper and she nods knowingly, though she looks sad. Full of pity.

“You think you’re protecting your own heart, right?” I give her an annoyed look, which she ignores and continues on. “But you aren’t. You think what happened between your dad and I is inevitable to happen to you. You’re protecting him because you think one of you will stray. And you couldn’t be more wrong.”

“I don’t want you here. I don’t want your help. I want to stay under this blanket for a while and ignore life.”

“And you’ve been doing a fine job of that. And you do want me here.”

“Well, this has been fun,Mom.Your visit has been wonderful and uplifting but I’m sure you’re busy and have a lot on your to-do list.”

She smiles. It’s full of mischief and makes me squirm.

She pulls out a pad of paper and Sharpie from her purse and starts writing. “Shower. Clean up this apartment. Eat something healthy.” She stops writing and leans over to sniff me then rubs some of my hair between two fingers. Winces and scrunches her nose. “Possible second shower. Probably clean more. Laundry. Then talk.”

I swallow hard. “Talk?”

“Yup. Long overdue talk. And look at you, you’re just about ready for that shower, being half naked and all.”

“I was hot. And itchy.”

“Itchy because your clothes are gross and dirty. Hot because you’re a wee bit feverish on account that you’re sick from being in this apartment without seeing the light of day for who knows how long, eating what looks to be only takeout.”

---