Page 45 of Falling for You

I’m so messed up.

Why would I do that?

What the hell is wrong with me?

Just thinking about my actions yesterday have me cringing, feeling like a bit of a psycho. Yeesh, that was weird. Right?

Though, I think about the kiss that had me jerking off before I went to sleep last night and can’t find it in me to regret my decision to go over there. It wasn’t as if any of my actions had been deliberate or planned out. I just happened to see her and couldn’t resist my next actions.

My phone in my pocket buzzes and I reach for it, look at the screen and stare. Blink to be sure I’m seeing what I’m seeing. My lip curls and I groan, good mood from remembering my night with Chloe vanishing.

Mom:I need you to come home.

What.

The.

Hell.

My first reaction is to ignore her message. If the sinking feeling in my gut is anything to go by. We haven’t spoken in years. Not since they knew about Troy and Amber’s relationship while she and I were dating and I was about to propose.

Definitely not since the day Troy and Amber got married and I was not only not included in the wedding — not that I would have wanted to be — but I also wasn’t invited. Hell, any updates on their lives, I’ve found out through social media. Dad retired from his job? Facebook congratulatory posts were my only clue. Troy and Amber made me an uncle two times over? Same thing. Only those announcements stung a little more. Knowing that I have a nephew and niece in the world that I’ll never have a relationship with is a hard pill to swallow. I know it’s not my fault, but it makes me feel like a piece of crap.

Troy never cared about me, though. After he slept with Amber, I called him out on always going after my girlfriends, told him to find his own. His only response was to tell me I was a nerd, to which I replied, “well, at least I didn’t have to pay people to do my homework in high school”. He threw a punch and I clocked him back. He stumbled back, surprised. Our mom pushed me away, told me to leave. And that was the last time I stepped foot in my childhood home. In fact, my parents haven’t tried to reach out once… and neither have I. I can’t lie and say I haven’t missed them, because they’re my family, screwed up as our relationship has always been. But that’s not to say that I have given any thought to making amends. It is what it is.

They didn’t have to choose one son over the other.

They just did.

So why now?

What could she possibly want? Or, rather, more likely, need?

Me:Why?

I’m a little surprised she still had my number. I had considered removing hers from my phone a while back, but thought better of it. Call it being hopeful, optimistic, or plain naïve, I always hoped someday things would change between all of us.

Mom:Your brother needs us.

Well, that settles that. I bark out a laugh, considering hitting block on her number right then. Of course it’s something about Troy. Why else would she be contacting me?

Me:Not interested.

Mom:Don’t be a jerk, Rex.

Me:Next you’ll ask me what he’s ever done to me to be treated that way. Want the list now or later?

Mom:He’s desperate.

Me:Of course he is. Why else would he need me?

My phone starts ringing and I’m not even surprised.

“What?”

“It’s been a long time, Rex, and that’s how you speak to me?”

“What would you rather me say? And why do you think that is, that we haven’t spoken in so long?”

---