Page 93 of Falling for You

I notice how he doesn’t call her our mom, but that’s okay. I understand why. To him, she isn’t Mom. I want to ask if he had anyone in his life who he thought of as a mother. “You’re not ready yet, huh?”

“Sorry.” He takes a drink of his coffee and puts the cup back down on the table, staring into the dark liquid, shoulders hunched. “Not yet. Actually, I shouldn’t say yet because I’m not going to promise that I ever will be.” Raising his eyes to me, he says, “Is that bad?”

“No. I get it. Trust me. I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve never met my father, either. Honestly, I don’t know if I’d have ever gained the courage to meet you if it hadn’t just happened, so I’m the last person who will judge you for that.”

“We’re fucked up, you know that?”

“Yup.”

We settle in to, well, not easy conversation, but conversation while eating cinnamon rolls and sipping coffee. We share stories about our childhood without going too deep into our lives. He tells me about his dad, how he and Olivia met a long time ago but that the timing wasn’t right. I watch his face light up when he talks about her, the love he has for her making him practically glow.

When he smiles, I notice a dimple in his left cheek. It’s the same dimple I saw on his dad’s face when he came into New You. I can’t stop myself from staring at him, seeing small glimmers of the mom we share in small ways. The color of his skin and hair, eyes, of course, and his finger nails, as weird as that sounds. He has our mom’s finger nails. I stare at them so long I know he notices. Thankfully, he thinks I’m staring at his empty coffee cup.

“You want another one?” he asks, pointing to my also empty cup.

“Oh. Sure.” I agree, and watch as he goes up to the counter to get a refill.

Once he’s seated again, we take long sips, both sighing at the smooth taste of the dark house roast.

“You know, after the party a couple weeks ago, Olivia suggested that you and I be friends.”

“Did she? What do you think?” I ask, taking another bite of the warm cinnamon roll.

“I think it’s a good start. We both live here in Liberty. I’m not going anywhere.” He looks at me expectantly.

I shake my head. “Me either.”

“Thought so. You and Rex, huh?” I blush. “I take that as a yes. So, let’s start with friends. No pressure, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, then, looks like I’m going to have to be okay with my sister friend dating my best friend.”

“Looks like it.”

He lifts his coffee cup and I do the same. Tapping it against mine he says, “To new beginnings.”

“To new beginnings.”

* * *

It’s beenthree weeks since that first coffee date Ethan and I shared. Rex and I spent Thanksgiving together, just the two of us and it was perfect. Neither of us worked for an entire four days. We grabbed Chinese takeout for dinner, binge-watched Gilmore Girls — because he caved after I begged him to give it a chance — and even put up a Christmas tree in my house together. It was perfection.

As for Ethan and I, we’ve met up three other times, once with Rex and Olivia for dinner at Balance, and each time, I’ve felt more and more comfortable around him. But the turning point was just two days ago. I was at a sandwich shop with Ari and he came in. I hesitated in how to introduce him and he noticed. Luckily, he took over for me and simply said, “Hi, I’m Ethan. The brother.” Thankfully, I’d already told Ari the whole story so she wasn’t completely in the dark, but it was still a little awkward. Having him take control of the situation, but also claim me, warmed my heart.

Today, though, I know he’s nervous because Olivia has another check-up. She’s due in about six weeks and she’s having an ultrasound. So I texted him this morning to let him know I was thinking of them and to let me know how it goes.

My phone chimes and I anxiously grab for it. Suddenly feeling every bit of the excited aunt, I rush to the back room for privacy.

A picture of Ethan and Olivia fills my screen, both of them smiling and holding up a black and white 3-D ultrasound picture.

The next picture comes through and the caption reads: “Baby has your nose.”

And I lose it.

Completely.

Standing in the back room of New You, I crumble to the floor and weep, clutching my phone to my chest. Ari comes into the room to see what is going on with me and all I can muster up is showing her my phone.

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