Page 2 of I'm Yours

Anger, hot and consuming courses through my veins at her suggestion, joking or not. “Not fucking funny, Sadie.”

“Oh, come on,” she teases, giggling, doing a final spin before sitting down next to me and nudging my shoulder. “It was alittlefunny.”

I roll my eyes and decide it’s best not to get into it with her. If I admit how badly it pisses me off to imagine her even with another man, not to mention, doing it for money, she’ll go running for the hills. Fucking woman, she drives me crazy. I don’t know if I love her or not, but it feels a lot like love. Even though I’m only eighteen, there’s something inside that tells me she’s the one for me. Maybe it makes me pathetic, but I’m willing to be patient and wait for years if it means she’ll eventually come around.

“I don’t know why you think staying here is bad. I love Lakeside.”

“It isn’t bad. I know that. I do love it here, and honestly, if I ended up in New York somehow, I’d miss this place and want to come back. It’s home, you know? I don’t think I could handle that many people around me all the time. And this,” she gestures out in front of her, to the beauty that Montana gives without even trying, “I couldn’t wake up every day and not have this.”

I don’t have to agree with her, she knows this is how I feel about our home. “So what’s the plan then?” I know what her plan is. Stay here. Work at the diner. Live with her mom and little brother in the trailer and every time I come home from school, I’ll pray that she’s finally seen her worth. There’s nothing wrong with working in the diner, but I know it’s not what she’s meant for or what would make her happy for the rest of her life. She needs something that would fill her soul.

Sadie’s slender shoulders shrug and she purses her lips, looking out at the mountains. “Oh, you know me, I’ll do my thing. Keep on keepin’ on. I just want to find a way to dance, that’s all.”

I have one more week with her before I leave for college three hours away. It’s not enough time, though, it might never be enough time. Forever with her seems about right. Maybe I do love her. I couldn’t be thinking about spending the rest of my life with someone and not be in love, right?

I scoot closer, heart racing. I want so badly to thread our fingers together, have the right to kiss away her fears that we don’t belong together. Assure her that college won’t change things because in my mind, they won’t. I might be leaving but I’ll come back often. “I won’t be far.”

Her voice takes on a sad, resigned note and she sighs. “Yeah, Reed. You will.”

“Sadie…”

“Reed, you’ll go to college and meet new people and go to parties. You’ll be busy living a different kind of life, and that’s okay.” She rushes to add the last part and I know she’s saying it as much for me as she is for herself. “It’s what’s supposed to happen.” She’s daring me to argue but I won’t. A part of me knows it’s the truth, even if I don’t like it. That’s what college is about, besides learning, of course. She looks at me with a wry grin and nudges my shoulder. “Besides, every single woman on that campus is going to take one look at you and freak out.”

“You saying I’m nice to look at?” I tease and now it’s her turn to roll her eyes.

“I’m not here to stroke your ego. Go grab Miss Prom Queen for that.” The look on her face can only be described as a sneer when she mentions Victoria. Who, in all fairness, is one of the sweetest girls in the school and has never, at least to my knowledge, treated Sadie with anything but kindness. Aside from showing a little jealousy because of how close Sadie is with me. Which means that if Sadie doesn’t like her, it has nothing to do with Victoria herself, but rather the feelings Victoria has for me.

It might not say much about me, but I love that she’s jealous. Love that she gets a little taste of me having to watch guys fawn all over her for years. Even had to endure the hell of standing by as she dated that dickweed Billy Richardson for a torturous five months, two weeks, and four days. Yup, like a complete creeper, I counted it down and did my best to be the supportive friend when she cried over their relationship ending.

Maybe there’s a reason I’m still a virgin while I’m getting ready to go off to college. She’s it for me. My one. My only. I can’t give myself to another woman when my heart has been tangled up in someone else for as long as I can remember. My friends give me shit about it all the time. Girls throw themselves at me at parties and get annoyed when I turn them down. But I don’t care. Not one single bit. Because my heart was gone for her the day I saw her for the first time during our freshman year. She’d just moved to our small town, the one I’ve lived in since I was born. New kids moving in isn’t common here so they’re always under a microscope, everyone trying to figure out the kid shaking up our normal and Sadie was no different. Though, I’m pretty sure no one paid as close attention to Sadie Jones as me.

Fuck me. Iamin love with her. A large part of me knew it, but I guess I was holding back from admitting it to myself because the thought of her not feeling the same way scares me to death. I feel my lips tip up in a smile, even as my stomach ties in knots.

I’m in love with Sadie Jones.

I almost laugh out loud for not understanding what my feelings for her meant. The warmth that would fill me every time she was around.

My grandpa used to always say something about risk and reward and not complaining if I don’t throw my hat in the ring. Dad always said he was a really philosophical man and most of the things he talked about always went over my head. But I think he basically meant, if I don’t try, I’ll never know.

Now it’s time to finally show her how deep my feelings for her go. She needs to know but even more, I have this innate desire to tell her. Surely if she knows I’m in love with her, she’d forget this idea of not being good enough for me, right?

I’ve never been shy about letting her know I think she’s beautiful. I’ve even asked her out on a date a few times. And even though I’ve told her I love her, I’ve never said I wasinlove with her. Hell, I didn’t even know for sure until about a second ago. Besides, if she knew, there’s no way she’d try so hard to keep me in the friend zone, right? At least, that’s what I’m telling myself because if she doesn’t return my feelings, I don’t know if I’ll recover. My heart is so invested in this woman. I’m confusing myself, my thoughts jumbling together.

She’s staring at me like she knows that something big is about to happen and it makes my skin tingle all the way from the top of my head down to the tips of my toes. Her chest is rising and falling and there’s a pink tinge to her cheeks. I’m shaking and so nervous I could throw up but I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t try. I lift a trembling hand to cup her cheek. She sucks in a breath and I lean over. I know she’ll feel like it’s coming out of nowhere but it’s not really. I’ve wanted to kiss her for years and I can’t wait another minute to feel her lips on mine. It’s been driving me insane and now my time is running out. If I don’t make my move, I’ll lose any chance I have. But still, it’s risky. I know that there’s a real chance she’ll reject me and if she knows my true feelings, that I’m in love with my best friend, it could end ugly and I could lose her entirely. The chance that it could end the way I want, though… it’s worth the risk.

“Reed?” Her voice is shaky, breath soft against my skin.

“Sadie. I know you don’t think…”

She shakes her head, my hand sliding against her cheek when she does. I watch her swallow hard and her eyes fill with tears. “It’s not what I think. It’s what I know.” She sees the road that separates the homes that have lakefront property and the ones that don’t as a divide. I’m sure there are some people, on both sides, who see it that way. But I don’t. Living on this side, especially for our “vacation” home, yes, it’s expensive, but had my grandfather not purchased this land when the prices were low, we’d never have a cabin here either. It wouldn’t be possible. If she really paid attention, she’d understand. But she has a clouded view, and always has.

I lick my lips and lean closer, resting my forehead against hers. I want to take the hurt away from her. The pain of feeling less than anything. Blood rushes to my head as I work up the courage to say the words that will change everything between us. “I love you,” I blurt out and she stills, her body going rigid. I guess Iamin love with her because saying those words out loud, they feel right. Like something I’ve been holding in for too long and now that I’ve said them out loud, that’s all I want to say. “In love with you,” I explain further and lean back so I can look into her beautiful eyes. And then… I watch as a lone tear I never saw coming makes a trail down her cheek. I swipe it away with my thumb.

“Sadie? What’s wrong?”

“I…”

“Yeah?” I ask, leaning closer, just wanting her to admit it.Say the words, I will her.Please. Just tell me you love me back and we’ll figure out the rest later.I can’t leave without knowing she returns my feelings. I can’t. I need to know that I can come back home to her and give me something to work for in college. Building a life that she’ll be a part of.

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