Page 53 of I'm Yours

I can’t speak for fear of what she’s about to tell me. I don’t know if I want to hear that she loved me or not.

“I lied about that.” She licks her lips and nods once.

“About not loving me,” I confirm.

“Right.”

“Why?”

She gives me a look that says I know the answer to that question but I’m not about to let her off the hook. “No, you don’t get to not say the words. I want to hear you say it.”

Tears are shimmering in her eyes and she sniffs but she still opens her mouth to explain, “Because I would have held you back.”

I stand abruptly and place my hands on the top of my head, scrubbing my hair roughly. I knew that’s what she’d say and I was right when I didn’t think I wanted to hear it.

“Why couldn’t you ever have listened or believed me?” I can’t look at her when I speak but I can’t stop. “You just… Itoldyou I was in love with you, Sadie. You knew how I felt. Why couldn’t you understand that meant something? That it was not about where you lived or how much money your family had? Iloved you.”

When I spin around on my heels she’s standing right there, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I know. I know. And I’m so sorry. I should have… I know I should have listened to you. I know that. But I can’t regret that decision.”

That’s the bitch of it. Neither can I. Because if she’d have been honest with me, I wouldn’t have Emmy. I would have never met Katherine. I loved her deeply. We had a good life. One that made me happy. I wouldn’t have met Justin or started a business or realized that Lakeside was where my heart ultimately lived. At the time, I escaped because my heart was broken. But if I’d have stayed, I don’t know what would have happened. Would I have seen Lakeside for what it is or felt like I was always missing out on something that could have been offered to me elsewhere?

“Fuck!” I shout, tugging on the ends of my hair.

A sob breaks through her when she cries, “I know! It’s not right. But it’s right. It makesno sense.At least it shouldn’t.”

Before I can think better of it, I attack her. My lips are pressed against hers so hard it’s as if I’m punishing her. And maybe I am. For lost time. For not believing in me. For the unanswered questions that we’ll live with for our entire lives. For me not knowing if I have the courage now to go after what I’ve always wanted.

My tongue begs for entry and her mouth opens immediately. She’s so much shorter than me that I have to bend down, her rising up on her tiptoes to reach me. My arms band around her lower back, pulling her flush against me as I explore her mouth. Our tongues tangle and dance, shivers roll up and down my spine and I can feel myself harden. She must feel it, too, because her hips swivel and she groans, turning her head and tightening her hold around my neck.

I didn’t plan for us to go at each other like a couple of horny teenagers, but here we are. I couldn’t stop it if I wanted to. And that’s the hardest part… I don’t want to. Kissing her is what dreams are made of.

Bending slightly at the knees, I lift her up and God bless her, she wraps those strong, slim dancer legs around my waist. It’s not lost on me how perfectly we fit together. It’s so right it should scare me but it doesn’t. Seconds ago I thought kissing her was what dreams are made of but I was wrong. Having her tight, small body flush against mine is. She’s so beautiful. Inside and out. She gave up everything for her family and I can hardly fault her for that.

I spin us around, pressing her back against the tree trunk on the opposite side of where we have the horses tied. My right hand cradles her head to protect it from the rough bark of the pine tree. Her nails dig into my scalp when my fingertips grip her butt and our tongues continue to collide. Sadie whimpers when I press against her, my hardness perfectly in line with the apex of her thighs that are clutched around my hips.

“Sadie,” I whisper, moving my lips down her neck. She squeaks and I pull back, noticing that her eyes are practically rolling in the back of her head. Smirking, I dive back in. Biting her neck then using the flat of my tongue to soothe the spot. Right where her neck meets her shoulders — it’s so sensitive, I remember that from our one and only other time together. And her ears. I know if I do this, I wrap my lips around her earlobe and suck lightly… yup. She’ll cry out. Just as she did just now. Her hips are thrusting up against me and I trail my hand lower, sliding around her thigh and squeezing.

“Oh my gosh, Reed,” she moans.

“Fuck.”

“I agree.”

I chuckle and she giggles giving us both a breather.

Around us, the horses can be heard stomping and whinnying and waves lapping against the shoreline. Slowly, I lower Sadie to her feet and bracket her head with my arms. She wraps a hand around my bicep and I lean down, my forehead resting in the crook of her neck. Her chest heaves and I can’t stop myself from staring. Her breasts are slightly bigger than they were when we were in high school and for a hot second I feel guilty about knowing that. For paying so close attention to her body that I recognize the slight differences twelve years later.

Her hand on my cheek pulls my eyes to hers. They’re searching. Curious. Scared. Turned on.

Slowly, she leans over and kisses me. It’s tentative and her eyes search mine, not falling closed. I love it. It might be my favorite way to kiss her.

She grins, leaning against the trunk of the tree. Both horses whinny louder, reminding us that they’re way over being tied up and we both chuckle.

“Looks like we have more to talk about now, huh?”

She bites her bottom lip and looks away. “Can I tell you something else?”

“I don’t know. Is it going to blow me away again?”

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