Page 9 of I'm Yours

Even if it wasn’t home to me, I’d still find Lakeside beautiful. Hanging baskets of bright, colorful flowers are a warm welcome in store fronts, the pine trees stand tall and proud along the shoreline of Flathead Lake but also all around. Despite how dry the landscape is, the grass is fairly green. It’s quaint and special, even the restaurants give off a vibe of home. Most places welcome dogs if you sit outside with them, which I know Emmy will want to take advantage of as soon as we get the puppy I promised her.

I pass the library and Emmy points it out, asking when we can go.

“As soon as we get settled, okay?” I know for a fact that my mom already has a lot of library trips planned with her.

“Okay!” she squeals again. When I told her we were moving to Lakeside, she practically starting packing up her room.

I’m smiling wide when I come to a stoplight. Look to my left while I wait for it to turn red and see a sign for Lakeside Dance Studio at the exact same time that Emmy spots it. She picks up on it thanks to the picture of a dancer in the sign and starts chattering a million miles a minute, asking if we can go and how it’s always been her dream to be a dancer.

It’s something I’ve been dreading since the first day she mentioned dance. It’s not that I don’t want that for her, but I’ve held strong to ignoring almost everything that reminds me of Sadie for twelve years now and it’s worked really well. Almost, anyway.

“Please, Daddy? Oh please! Oh please!”

“We can’t stop in today, pumpkin.”

“Why? It says Open!”

She’s turning her head to look, keeping her eyes focused on the small building just as the light turns green. I take off quicker than I should and she yelps.

“How about we call?” I ask her when I look in my rearview mirror only to see her staring out the window sadly. Her shoulders are slumped and head is hanging low. I know she wants to dance. She’s talked about it since she was three years old.

“Will you really?”

“I will.” And I’m not lying. I’ll call, see what their schedule is like and if they’re taking beginner students, and go from there. If it turns out that they can take Emmy, I’ll suck it up and bring her there. I can’t avoid everything that reminds me of Sadie forever.

It took me until the last time Katherine and I visited that I was willing to go eat in town with her, even though I doubted Sadie was still living in Lakeside anyway. Billy’s family moved away shortly after we graduated and I know he had plans that centered around a life Lakeside couldn’t offer him. But then again, so did Sadie. It wouldn’t surprise me if I heard they were living in Chicago or New York City.

When I decided to move us back here, I knew that I’d be driving right into an onslaught of memories. Fortunately, right now, I’m only remembering the good and not the heartache that drove me away from here, and her, over a decade ago. Besides, had that not happened, I wouldn’t have met Katherine and then wouldn’t have Emmy. And a life without Emmy… I can’t imagine it.

We make a pit stop at the storage unit I rented and meet the moving truck. I unlock the door and they make quick work of unloading the truck and stacking everything into the unit. I stare at our belongings for several moments. The life I shared with Katherine is now confined to a 10 x 20 concrete room. It’s amazing to me, that eight years of marriage led to this. I swallow hard, slam the door shut, and lock it up. I don’t turn around when I make my way to my pickup. No use in looking back. Only forward.

* * *

It’s the middle of August, so when Emmy starts kindergarten in a few weeks, she’ll be starting fresh along with the rest of her classmates. We pull in front of the lake house that sits nestled into the trees with the back overlooking Flathead Lake. Emmy’s practically bouncing out of her booster seat as the deep red cabin comes into view. With both of our windows down, we can hear the tires crunch on the gravel and smell the fresh air that I’ve missed so much. I park in front of the unattached garage that matches the house and she unlatches her seat belt and opens the back door as soon as the pickup is in park, leaving all her belongings behind.

“Wait for me, pumpkin!” I shout at her back but she’s already running to the door, twisting the knob. She turns around, scowling when it doesn’t open. Normally when we come here we’re visiting my parents so the door is always open.

“Daddy! It won’t open! The door is broken.”

I chuckle at her reaction as I pull out the key from the hiding spot my parents told me to look in. “Don’t worry, I have the magic key.”

With wide eyes, she stares at me like I’ve just cracked a code while I dangle the key from the ring looped around my middle finger. “Wow!”

It’s really amazing how something that seems so simple can impress her. It’s also amazing how I’d do just about anythingtoimpress her. I’ll never get tired of the way it feels when she looks up at me with her dark brown eyes filled with awe.

Mom must have been here recently because the flowers are blooming brightly in the pots next to the door and when I open the door, the smell of freshly baked cookies assaults me.

“Mom?” I call out but don’t hear anyone.

“Grandma!” Emmy yells, racing through the lower level looking around for her beloved grandmother. “Where is she?” Emmy asks when her game of Seek doesn’t turn out the way she’d hoped with no one hiding.

I notice a note on the counter and lift it up.

Figured you’d be hungry when you got here. Cookies are in the container on the counter and there are some hamburger patties and hot dogs in the fridge for tonight. So glad to have you home. ?

“Grandma’s not here. She left us some cookies though.”

“Yum! Can I have one?”

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