Page 55 of The Other Guy

SIERRA

Bad whiskey. Bad. Bad. Bad.

Why did I think it was smart to drink so much last night?

I groan and place a hand on my forehead to stop my brain from exploding through my skull. I’m not so far gone that I don’t know where I’m at.

Jack’s guest bedroom.

Dark red sheets that smell clean and fresh.

Toby nowhere to be found.

I gingerly shift my feet onto the floor then unceremoniously slide off the bed, landing on my butt. Crawl across the floor, through the open door, down the short hallway to the bathroom.

“How ya feeling?”

“Dandy,” I grumble as I push my way into the bathroom.

Jack laughs lowly. “Coffee is ready. Bacon, too.”

“Toby?”

“I got him.”

I don’t respond as I shove the door shut behind me.

The last time I drank as much as I did last night was when I turned twenty-one and thought I’d die the next day. I do my business and wash my hands. Then my face and brush my teeth. Gag a little bit but manage to hold back the vomit.

I stare at myself in the mirror, at the dark smudges of mascara under my eyes and decide a second wash might do me some good. I splash cool water onto my face and shiver but feel a little better.

I lift the collar of Jack’s t-shirt he let me wear to bed last night, bend my head low, and sniff. Sigh when I’m blessed with him. Allow myself one more deep inhale, closing my eyes to get the full effect of the spicy, musky, natural manly scent.

“What is wrong with me?” I whisper, irritated with myself.

Straightening, I tug down the hem of his t-shirt.

Last night I fought every instinct I have not to climb him like a damn tree. Especially when my inhibitions were lowered because of alcohol. A lot of alcohol. After the almost kiss that Toby interrupted, I had equally hoped the moment wasn’t lost and prayed it was.

Okay, maybe not equally, because I really wanted him to kiss me. The sexual energy was zipping and zagging between us so strongly that it was almost impossible to ignore.

In all my twenty-seven years, I’ve never once felt this way about someone. This pull. I want to fall into his arms, curl up into his side on the couch, stretch out on his bed with my head resting on his chest, cook meals together and… nope. I can’t think that way. That’s wanting something more from Jack Cole than I can give him and that’s not fair to him. Jack doesn’t scream one-night stand, or even the stay together but never marry type.

He wants it all.

The house, wife, two point five kids.

And that’s just not me.

Sure, I want love, but that passionate crazy love that my parents had isn’t for me. I can’t allow that. It’s easier to have lukewarm feelings for someone because that’s safer. Easier. Might be a little more boring but that’s okay. At least my life wouldn’t be filled with highs and lows and screaming matches because our tempers are flaring. And those screaming matches turning into screaming of a different kind. It’s too much.

No.

I rest my hands on the sink and suck in air. I won’t allow something like that to happen.

And Jack? While I don’t really see the screaming fights happening between us, I do see the other side of it. The side where we make up in grand fashion. Where we can’t keep our hands to ourselves. I felt it last night, and I never feel it. I avoid the spark and go for safe and mild.

Raising my eyes to look in the mirror, I narrow them at the reflection. I’m a freaking liar if I think I can avoid something between Jack and me. Or that I want to. I’m also guilty for keeping a giant secret from him. I just don’t know how to tell him that I was living with the guy who was giving over a dozen women his number, cheating on me with every single one of them. It’s embarrassing and… well, mostly just that. He deserves to know but I can’t seem to find the right words. When I showed up here last night, I fully intended on telling him. That was the entire reason I came over, but then Toby made himself at home and Jack was looking like Jack, sweet and sexy and then we had whiskey. One would think that once the liquor started flowing, I would have told him. But it had the opposite effect.

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