Page 61 of The Other Guy

JACK

“I think I need to do some jumping jacks.”

She can jump on this Jack all she wants…

“Why is that?”

“Because I ate my weight in omelets and bacon since you kept forcing your food on me.” She groans while holding her stomach, stretched out on my couch with Toby by her feet.

“Oh, it’s my fault you’re feeling like a stuffed pig, huh?”

She lifts her head and glares at me. “What a lovely compliment.”

“You’re welcome.”

She groans again and I chuckle.

“I’m serious, Jack. I need to do something active. I may or may not have eaten a little too much and I need to burn it off.”

Well, that’s not helping my current state of mind. Lots of activities that I can think of to burn off our breakfast.

“I just feel… blah, you know? Like my stomach is kind of revolting against me right now.” Sierra stands up, albeit quite slowly, and stretches her arms above her head.

Then…

A noise emits from her that I’m absolutely positive she didn’t want me to hear.

She freezes aside from covering her face.

I stare at her and try not to laugh.

But the effort is completely lost because she apparently wasn’t done. This time after the sound I’ll never forget, though, she squeals, holds her stomach then bolts for the bathroom.

As soon I hear the door slam shut I burst into full blown laughter.

“Not nice!” she shouts.

Minutes pass and I hear the toilet flush. Then flush again. And some more incredibly unpleasant noises.

I look around the room and slowly make my way toward the bathroom hallway. Farting is one thing (which, obviously, didn’t bother me because I’m a guy and farts happen) but whatever is going on in the bathroom right now is far beyond that.

“Sierra?”

“Mm hmm?”

“You okay in there?”

“Mm hmm!”

Something tells me she’s not being entirely truthful. Could be the fact that the second mm hmm was said in a high-pitch squeaky voice. Could be the fact that I just heard the unmistakable sounds of bodily fluids rapidly emitting from her butt.

“You sure?”

“Jack, the polite thing to do would be to leave me alone for a few minutes of private time.”

“Private time, huh? Is it because I still haven’t put on a shirt?” I can’t help but tease her.

“Jackson!”

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