Page 32 of Without You

Holding her attention, I ask, “You know what I’ve been thinking about?”

“What?” she asks, standing up and depositing our trash in the bin. I stand, too, and join her in walking out the door, my hand on her lower back.

“Us.”

We stop walking and turn to look at one another. “You kind of alluded to that earlier.”

“Here I thought you said I was mysterious.”

She shrugs. “Sometimes you just lay it all out there. Sometimes not so much.”

“How’s this. I’d really like to spend time with you, and not just showing you the apartment you’re going to be moving into. You’re going to be busy over the next few months, from the way it sounds, and I’m busy because I have this contract that is going to require me to work pretty insane hours, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find time.”

“We didn’t even talk about you. What’s going on with your new adventure?”

“New adventure?” I ask, leaning against the door of my pickup.

“Well, I’m not sure what else to call it.”

I take a risk and reach out to grab her hand in mine, pulling her close. She stumbles a bit and but unfortunately doesn’t fall into me. I’d really like to wrap my arms around her, but this is the second time we’ve spent time together. That’s pushing it. “Don’t try to change the subject.” She looks between us where our fingers are intertwined and I give her a gentle squeeze. “I know we’ve both got a lot going on but even with all that, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. The last month I kept hoping to bump into you again. It was driving me crazy to not see you and I gotta admit, I wanted to reach out to you the morning after we had coffee, not a month after. Are you feeling any of that?”

“I… I am, but I’m also a little worried.”

“Worried about?” I prompt her and she looks too nervous to answer. “And don’t say Hannah. For one thing, she’s not in this. Hannah’s married and thankfully moved on. She doesn’t live here. And, this is the biggest point, she doesn’t hold a place in my life anymore. I don’t think about her. I think about you.”

“I gathered that.” She squeezes my fingers. “I think about you, too.”

“Do you?”

“I do. And yes, I’d love to do all the things despite our busy schedules.”

Relief washes over me because for as much as we’ve tiptoed around it, she’s never just come out and said the words that I needed to hear. “Maybe this new living situation will work out then.”

“Is that why you wanted me to live above your garage? For an easy booty call?” she asks, and I can’t tell if she’s serious or not. And because I can’t tell, my next words come out carefully. If I’ve offended her, I don’t want to make it worse and I’m definitely not okay with her thinking that’s all I want.

“Do you really think that’s why I offered up my apartment?”

“Well, you’ve talked a lot about the things you want to do with me.”

She was serious. Or, at the very least, partially serious. That niggle of doubt is obviously there. “And that holds true. But that’s not why I offered it. You need a place to live. I have a place you can live. I also want us to go on dates and learn more about each other. Yes, I want to explore the attraction between us, of course I do, but don’t think for a second that’s all I want.”

Her shoulders drop. “I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“It’s okay.”

“When do you want me to stop over to look at the apartment?”

“Tonight okay?”

She nods. “It’s perfect.”

“Good.” I lean down and kiss her on the cheek because I can’t help myself then murmur, “I’ll text you the address. I’ll make us some dinner, too. No fighting me on that.”

“Okay,” she whispers.

“Okay,” I whisper in return then kiss her on the temple and get in my pickup before I decide against what’s right and continue to be the respectful man that I am and instead make out with her for everyone to see. Right here on the side of the street in the morning while everyone in Benton is going to work and dropping their kids off at school.

“I’ll see you tonight,” I say through my now rolled-down window.

“You will.”

By the time I’ve arrived at the shop, my smile is still planted on my face and stays there for the rest of the day.

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