Page 101 of Together

Leaning a shoulder against the door frame, I watch her fold tiny onesies and other baby clothes that I didn’t know anything about until she came into my world. The baby shower her sisters hosted for her was insane. I’ve never seen so many gifts from people I’d never met. Thankful? Very much so. Concerned that we won’t be able to find a place to put it all? Very much so.

Grace and I haven’t talked much since she and Samuel split up. I’m glad that she and Ashley are working through it, but I can’t forgive and forget so easily. Grace said some pretty horrible things about not only me, but Ashley as well.

Ashley’s sitting cross-legged, her back straight, belly round with my son growing inside her, humming a song that I can’t decipher. Her long dark hair hangs in loose waves over her shoulders and down her back. The wrap around her wrist is already gone, her body mostly healed from the accident that could have taken her away from me. She’s not wearing any makeup on her face, having already washed it away from her day at work and honestly, she’s never been more beautiful to me.

All day long I think of her. There have been several occasions where I’m in my office, working on a bid for a customer, and I zone out completely. Rebecca, my assistant, will have to yell to get my attention. She smiles knowingly and I shrug. I don’t even apologize anymore. Why would I?

She must feel me watching her. The corners of her mouth tip up and her eyes flutter before connecting with mine. We’re a match, she and I. Dark hair. Dark eyes. Olive skin.

“Creepy,” she mutters. Happy and amused.

“Beautiful,” I counter.

She’s holding a dark blue sleeper, its edges trimmed in orange. It’s one I picked up. She didn’t fight me when I said our kid would be a Chicago Bears fan. She said that was fine, as long as I allowed him to come to his own conclusions later in life. The sleeper hangs from her fingers as she stares at me, wondering. Something flares in her eyes. Is it heat? Maybe it’s the same feeling I’ve been holding onto for the past months… hope. Ashley for more together. Her. Me.

“I’m a mess.”

I shake my head. “Mybeautifulmess.”

“Nik,” she whispers, her chin trembling. “You can’t say stuff like that.”

“Why not?” I push off the door and walk to her, crouching down so I’m eye level. I lift my right hand, my thumb making a trail over her cheek before sliding my fingers into her hair. Those intensely dark eyes of hers shutter closed, long lashes fanning out. Ashley sucks in a deep breath and shakes her head slightly.

She meets my stare again and she admits, “It makes me think things.”

“I’ve been thinking things since the first night we met,” I admit to her in a low voice. “You’ve just been trying to hide from it.”

“Nik.”

“Ashley.”

“I can’t do this.”

“Give me one good reason, Sally.” She gives me a small smile at the nickname and her hand finds her belly. I shake my head. “He’s on the top of the pro list, babe, not con.”

She moves, shifting to her hands and knees. I stand up and bend over, helping her do the same. “Thanks,” she breathes. “And to answer your question. No.”

“I didn’t ask for an answer. I asked for areason.” I wink and she glares.

“You don’t have to be such a smarty pants,Harry.”

“Give me a reason,” I demand.

“I’m hungry. Are you?”

I follow her to the kitchen and she opens the fridge, pulling out a container of leftover rotisserie chicken, shredded cheese, and barbeque sauce, placing it all on the counter. I get out the tortillas because I know she’s about to make a barbeque chicken wrap.

The two of us work together, making our wraps. We put them on plates, along with some dill pickle spears. A couple glasses of chocolate milk are poured and we sit at the island to eat.

I let her have this. Because I know that it’s a tactic to stall the conversation she’s too nervous to have. I finish my plate of food before she does, which is pretty typical for us. I’m a fast eater. She savors. Neither of us say anything while we eat and I don’t say anything when I’m finished but she’s still eating. Slower than usual, I might add, but, again, I let her have this. She needs it.

Her emotions are all over the place but more than that, she doesn’t fully trust herself. She doesn’t fully trust this love that we share. Maybe because neither of us expected this, we weren’t looking for a relationship the night we met. We were both broken hearted and needed to forget for a few hours.

But she swept me away. Her smile makes my day better.

Being with Ashley is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I had all but written off love when I walked into the bar that night. I had decided that I was done. I’d thrown my hat in the ring a couple of times and it didn’t work out but turns out, I hadn’t really given much effort. I thought I did, but this love that I have for Ashley? It makes me want to go all in. Throw not just my hat in, but everything I have.

She brought me back to life. Back from somewhere I didn’t even know I had escaped into. Ashley tells me that she was a liar, a pretender, a fake, in all her past relationships. Turns out, I was, too. Until I met her, I didn’t know what it was like to be completely myself with someone and not be afraid that they’d run for the hills.

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