Page 102 of Together

Until Ashley, I didn’t realize how different I was around others.

She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but she has to see it herself, too. I can’t be all in when she isn’t jumping into the pond with me. I can’t do that again. I won’t.

When her plate is empty, I take both hers and mine to the dishwasher and clean up the mess we made, wiping the counters and putting away the food in the fridge. When I’ve finished, I turn to face her, leaning on the island countertop with my hands spread wide and facing her.

I have a few options here. I act boldly. Or I wuss out and let her keep me on the outskirts.

Actually, I only have one option.

“I love you,” I say, looking into her eyes, glistening with unshed tears. “I love you. Not because you’re carrying my baby but because since the first night I held you, since the first night we played darts and ate crappy food and fell into each other’s arms, I’ve been yours. I fell hard but it wasn’t fast. It was a slow fall and I loved every second of it. But now I want you with me. I’ve been in love with you for months but didn’t have the guts to tell you.”

“Why?”

“You scare the shit out of me, Ashley. I can’t lose you. We haven’t had good luck in the past with relationships. We’ve been burned, we’ve struggled to find our footing and be our real selves for fear that we wouldn’t be loved. But it’s not that way with each other. We can be our true selves and know that we’re accepted.”

“How do you know I’m not pretending like I have in the past?”

“Because I know you. You haven’t faked anything since we first met,” I tell her, smiling. “Do you love me? Because I love you. A forever kind of love but it’s time you know. You deserve to know.”

“I’m scared.”

I nod, swallowing hard. “Me, too.”

“I won’t survive this loss.”

“There’s nothing to survive because there’s nothing for us to risk losing. I’m not going anywhere. I love you like Johnny loved June. Like Rip loves Beth.” I smirk, bringing up her favorite show,Yellowstone.She can’t deny that she gets excited for Cole Hauser in any role he plays, but inYellowstone?She’s mush. A puddle of hotness for him.

“That’s not playing fair,” she whispers. “You can’t bring up Rip.”

I grin. “All’s fair in love and war, babe. Do you love me?”

She whimpers. “It’s not that simple.”

“It is that simple. Do you love me?”

“We’re having a baby together.”

“We are. Thank the good Lord because I can’t wait to see you holding our baby boy. To be by your side, keeping my eyes on you.” I wink.

“Now you’re bringing up Chase Rice? You’re evil.”

The corner of my mouth tips up. She once told me that one of her ex boyfriends got pissed if she ever mentioned a celebrity crush. Because all her past boyfriends have been giant dicks, apparently. Insecure assholes, basically. “Do you love me?”

She closes her eyes, a tear falling and making a trail down her right cheek. “I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can. Do you love me?” I count to ten before her eyes open. I round the island and hold her face in my hands. “Do. You. Love. Me?”

“Yes,” she whispers. “I can’t help it. I’ve tried, but I’m a sucker for you.”

“Thank fuck.”

I crush my mouth to hers and lift her off the stool, wrapping my arms around her. Our son growing in her stomach between us, keeping us apart but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I love you, Nik,” she proclaims when I release her mouth for a beat in order to trail my lips down her neck.

“Best words ever,” I reply.

“I do, you know. I love you. But if Rip or Chase comes knocking,” she jokes and then squeals when I attack her, tipping her back a little while keeping my hands on her back to hold her up.

---