Page 24 of Together

When I join them, he’s taken my seat next to her on the couch.

Josie looks content as she cozies up to Dean, his one arm over the back of the couch and around her shoulder.

It’s hard not to be a little jealous of the two of them. My first marriage didn’t last. We thought it was love but as it turns out, friendship, even if there was some attraction there, too, doesn’t lead to love the way we had expected. The chemistry was never really there, and if I’m being completely honest — and this is something I’ve been thinking about for the last month — the chemistry wasn’t there with Stacia either. I just never realized it until I spent time with Ashley and discovered what it was like to be with someone I trulywanted.I never knew what it felt like to have a desire for a woman so deep.

On the screen, Kevin is deciding that he’s strong and is going to defend his house and I’ve decided that if Ashley is pregnant with my child, I’ll do everything in my power to do what Dean has taught me to do. I’ll protect her and the baby, I’ll be there for her in any capacity she’ll allow. I’ll work my ass off to be the best father and partner for her to raise a child with. I know she won’t want me for more than that, her words as we stood by her car after Roy, the taxi driver, dropped us off at the bar that day have played on a loop in my head every single day since.

“It was fun.”

“Itwasfun. Maybe we should…”

“I’m going to stop you right there, Harry.” She’s back to calling me Harry again which can’t be good. That can only mean she’s trying to de-humanize the situation or something of the sort. “We can’t. I mean, the other night was fun.”

I raise an eyebrow at her.

“Okay, yesterday was fun, too.”

“So was this morning. And later this morning. And this afternoon.”

She blushes and I want nothing more than to reach over and run the pad of my thumb over the pink in her cheeks. But the soft smile she’s giving me tells me she’s about to deliver the don’t call me speech so I keep my hands to myself.

“Yeah. But…”

“But, you don’t want a repeat?”

“It’s not that, but it’s kind of that? You and I just got out of long-term fairly serious — or at least, we thought they were serious — relationships. For heaven’s sake, you proposed a couple days ago! To someone who definitely wasn’t me. Last night was not normal for me. The drinking, the sex with a stranger, all of it. And I need to wrap my head around that.”

“Did I pressure you?” The thought alone makes me sick, and it’s not from the alcohol. That’s out of my system now and I feel great. Or, I did, until this conversation, anyway.

“Not at all. But, the fact is, I wasn’t acting like myself the past couple days.”

“I’ve heard people say that alcohol sometimes brings out the truth in people.”

Ashley looks away, running her hands through her long, thick, dark hair. “I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t have a good time with you, but this is where it ends for us. I need to get my life back in order and I need to do that alone.”

“I’ll respect that.”

I might not like it, but I’ll respect it. Besides, what she said about acting out of character holds true for me, as well. I’ve never had a one-night stand, never slept with someone I hadn’t been dating and getting to know, and I rarely drink alcohol. At least not to the extent that I did last night. Probably why both of us got so incredibly trashed last night. Our systems aren’t used to it.

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry about? And please don’t say us having sex because that might hurt my ego,” I tease, grinning. “Seriously, Ashley. We had a great time, yeah?”

She nods.

“And I’m not going to deny that you’re right, the last couple nights probably shouldn’t have happened but I don’t regret that it did. It was fun and maybe exactly what both of us needed. A night to cut loose and lose ourselves in someone else. But…”

“There’s always a but,” she jokes.

“But, I also won’t deny that I wish things were different. I wish that I’d met you on a night that we both hadn’t just had our hearts broken and that we didn’t make sketchy decisions.”

“Yeah. If only, huh?”

“If only.”

I open her car door and she slides in, I lean inside her window after the door is closed and window is rolled down and kiss her gently on the lips. “Maybe things will look different for us in a few months.”

“Maybe.”

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