Page 77 of Together

“With my sisters?”

“Okay,tryto have fun. Who knows, maybe they’ll be less bitchy about you being pregnant this time. I don’t like it that y’all are on the outs with each other. It isn’t right. You’re family.”

I hate bringing this on him. He has one sister and that’s it. Not much for extended family and with their parents gone, they’ve relied so much on each other. I always feel guilty when I complain about my sisters or parents but he always says not to hide it. He wants me to be able to complain to him rather than holding it in. It’s just that lately, I feel like that’s all I do. Complain, complain, complain.

My back aches.

I’m not sleeping at night.

I have to pee every five minutes.

I feel ugly.

Money is tight because I’m trying to save to buy a house. That complaint really gets under his skin because he’s made it clear that he’s more than willing to pay for anything the baby or I need. But, he’s not the only one responsible and I like that we’re partners in it.

And all the family stuff I whine about. My parents telling me I needed to move home so I have their help, then reminding me that I’m not married so I better not even think about moving in with Nik because it wouldn’t send the right message to the baby. What even is that? Are we living in the 1950s or what? Honestly. I laughed in their face for that one, but the sting settled in and festered into irritation. They don’t want to tell my grandparents because they’re afraid they’ll be disappointed. Again, are we in the 50s?

No way was I going to hide the pregnancy from my grandparents like a dirty little secret so I called them and told them myself. I didn’t leave out any details. Okay, maybe a couple because there are some things grandparents just don’t want to know about their granddaughters. But, they know that Nik and I were strangers but have since become close. They were a little surprised initially but they brushed it off and are happy for me. My grandma is making the baby a quilt. My grandpa asked if he could build him a crib. It’s safe to say they’re supportive.

It’s my parents and sisters that have been making me mad on a daily basis.

In an effort to move past their snide comments and judgment, I agreed to have dinner with my sisters tonight. I’d much rather be sitting at home watching Netflix or hanging out with Nik.

“I know, I know. They just make me so upset lately.”

“Don’t let their comments get to you, remember? Their opinions are only that. Opinions.”

I take a deep breath, staring through the windshield of my car toward the door that leads inside the restaurant of doom. That might not be fair. The restaurant itself isn’t full of doom. It’s actually one of my favorites. Maybe that’s why I’m nervous. I don’t want to have one of my favorite places ruined because of my sisters’ negativity.

“Ash?”

“I’m here.”

“You got this. I believe in you. And if they start up with you, call me and put me on speaker. I’ll have a talk with ‘em both.”

That would be a disaster. He might be encouragingmeto spend time with them but he wants very little part of it. They’ve been nothing but nasty to him and he doesn’t deserve it. For the most part, I’ve tried to keep him away from them for that very reason. What he said about having a talk with Grace and Lucy? He’s completely serious. The only reason he hasn’t given them a piece of his mind is because he doesn’t want to cause more troubles between us. But the offer is beyond sweet, nonetheless. And, honestly, if things don’t change soon, I’ll be taking him up on it. For now, though, he just needs to know one thing. “You’re the best, Nik. I don’t know what I would do without you. Thank you.”

“For what? Offering to talk with them?”

“No. For being you.”

“You know, maybe I changed my mind,” he says, his voice an octave or two lower.

“About what?”

“Maybe you should skip dinner with the sisters tonight and come hang out with me instead. I’ll make you forget all about their judgmental asses.”

“Tempting.” It is, too. He doesn’t realize how much more I would rather be sitting on the couch with him than… well, basically doing anything else. The day we were in the hospital waiting room while Josie was giving birth to Jay, I made a little joke along the lines of how I made a good choice for who my baby’s daddy is. But it really wasn’t a joke at all. He’swonderful.The best partner a girl could ask for, and I mean partner in every sense of the word. If only I could find the courage for the physical stuff we’ve been dancing around.

I don’t know how much longer I can hold out from not attacking him. I’m so dang horny all the time and being around Nik doesn’t help one bit. He’s the definition of a walking temptation. I know that giving in to our desires would be great. Beyond great, actually. Spectacular. Mind-blowing, even. But what about after?

Right now it is so good between us.

So good.

We’re much more than only friends but not friends who cross the line, even though we both want it. But I can’t get over the what-ifs that continue to circle around in my head like the animals in a carousel. We’re happy together as friends. There’s always this invisible boundary line holding us in our places. That line seems to be getting thinner and thinner by the minute, though.

I want him with every fiber of my being. We haven’t had sex since the night Jay was born and I don’t know how much more I can take.

---