Page 60 of Never Really Over

“So what, I’m just supposed to change who I am so she’s more comfortable?”

“No. You’re supposed to forgive her. She moved, Colt. She didn’t cheat on you or kill someone or rob a bank. She followed a dream she had. She’s not expecting all of us to forget that she left but she doesn’t need to apologize for it, either. You weren’t engaged or married, she didn’t take off with your baby or some other crazy shit. You’re using the words she said as an excuse to punish her because you’re still hurt that she shook up your life. You won’t admit that you never got over her.”

That gives me pause.

“Yes, I did.”

She laughs right in front of me. “Liar.”

“I’m not a liar, Missy. And I have forgiven her for moving away. Why would I still be upset about that?”

She steps up to me and shakes her head. “I don’t think you have. Or, at least, not entirely. I think you haven’t forgiven her because she was your best friend and, in your mind, she bailed on not only your relationship, but your friendship, too. And then she said those things to you, and it hurt because you thought she had changed. She hasn’t. I’ve spent time with her and I wouldn’t lie to you or try to protect her. The old Layla is still in there, Colt. Give her a chance to show you or you’re always going to wonder. You owe it to yourself and then you can make the decision.”

‘Give her a chance to show you.’

That’s what I promised Missy I would do and I will. She’s right, though, which is something that took me a few days to realize. If she’s moving back and will be spending time with Missy and the rest of the girls, that means I’ll see her, too. My focus needs to be on Poppy and not worrying about the girl that got away, but I can’t stop thinking about how much she’s changed and something just doesn’t sit right with me about that.

I continue to think about it while I mow waterways and Poppy sleeps. One thing that’s definitely not changed is my attraction to her. She’s got this girl-next-door beauty and these eyes that I can still get lost in.

When she was here in those ridiculous pajamas and rain boots, walking around in the pasture I saw a glimpse of the Layla I once knew. Her eyes shone with happiness and her laughter was real.

I finish up the last waterway, pausing for a mama deer and two fawns to escape from where they were bedding down, and drive the tractor back to the shop and park it.

Poppy wakes up when I turn off the tractor. She looks around and frowns a bit.

“Sorry, Poppy, we finished. Want to help with something else?”

“Dada! Baba!”

I chuckle. “Okay, Tootsie Pop. How about if we get out and I’ll give you a bottle quick?”

Once we’re in the office, I give her a bottle and change her diaper and make us a quick lunch in the kitchenette I built in the office.

I know she’s going to want to go see the animals before I get back to work. As with most Iowa farms, we have a few outdoor cats that come and go and Poppy loves to feed them. After the cats are fed, she holds my hand and tugs me along to go see the goats then looks into the chicken coop to see if there are any eggs.

Satisfied with her bounty of three eggs, she turns to me with a big smile, presenting them up to me to carry for her.

“Should we bring these to the house?”

Her answer is turning in that direction, keeping her hand in mine the whole way. She’s getting better at walking, but still stumbles on the gravel.

I hold her while she places the eggs in their container in the fridge and she claps for herself before squirming to be let down.

“Want to play a little bit inside or go back to the shop?”

She seems to think on that before going to her bedroom, plopping down on the floor and looking through books.

I still have work to do out in the shop, but Poppy deserves to play how and where she wants so I’ll let her hang out here while I do some laundry and go through the mail.

After a little bit, I check on Poppy only to be stunned to silence.

She’s in her crib.

But I didn’t put her in there.

“What the…”

She also seems awfully pleased with herself.

---