Page 99 of Never Really Over

With her voice muffled against my shoulder, she cries, “I’m so sorry, Colt. I can’t stop living in the nightmares. I have them almost every night. The memory of that day so clear in my mind. We’d talked just moments before and neither of us had any idea what laid in store for us. I’m so sorry. You can’t understand how sorry I am. If I hadn’t been on that road —”

I interrupt her, pulling away but keeping my hands on her shoulders. “Listen here. Is your guilt going to bring Natalie and Mason back? Did the police officers charge you with anything? Did they suggest that you were at fault? I’ll answer all those for you in one word. No. Trust me, if I could bring Natalie back, I would, but only for Poppy’s sake. For Natalie? She’s in a better place and watching over us. And she’d be pretty damn mad at you right now,” I add on the last, earning me a tiny smile.

“Write your shit down, all of it. Anything that’s holding you back from living the life you really want. Being who you want to be to Poppy. And even to Stan,” I tell her with my eyebrows raised. “There’s something there and Layla’s on board but you can’t go there unless you get this,” I tap her head, “and this,” I tap her heart, “fixed. Layla and I burned our pain to ash and while it’s not perfect, it’s a hell of a lot better between us than it was.”

She nods solemnly. “I think… maybe I need to talk to someone. I don’t know if the burning thing is for me, but I know I need help. The nightmares, Colt. They’re awful. I won’t tell you more than that because I won’t burden you. Layla doesn’t know. She thinks I’m not having them anymore.”

“Something tells me she would want to know, Maureen.”

She shakes her head and looks away from me, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s not fair for her to shoulder that, Colt.”

“Life isn’t fair. We know that now as much as ever, but focusing on what’s not fair rather than all that we’ve been given will only make us bitter and angry, possibly depressed and sad.” She’s still looking away so I turn her to face me. I need her to see my truth. “That’s not a way to live. I’ve told you I don’t blame you and I meant it. Now, you just need to give yourself that same forgiveness.”

“How’d you get to be so smart?”

“I’m a genius, I know.” My smile is more of a smirk, but my reply makes her laugh.

“And so humble.”

“Are we okay?” I ask, lowering my voice. “I feel like I’m railroading you because I’m a selfish ass.”

“You’re far from selfish.”

I rub the back of my neck. “That’s where you’re wrong. See, if you’re not in a good place, in your head and your heart, then the rest of us can’t be, either. I’m ready for the good place. For all of us, Maureen. That includes you. Layla and I have missed enough time together, and while I’m not still hung up on that, the two of us are ready to see where we can take this.”

“Is this you asking me for my daughter’s hand in marriage?” she asks with a teasing note to her voice, but there’s a little bit of truth to it.

“That’s jumping ahead a few steps, don’t you think?”

She lifts a shoulder in a shrug then links her arm in mine, leading me back to the living room. “Just know my answer is yes when that time comes.”

I chuckle. “Good to know.”

Chapter Nineteen

Colt

Next To You

Me:I have a favor and it’s a big one.

Layla:Hmm. Sounds like I’ll be getting a big favor in return.

Me:Only if you accept.

Layla:Consider my curiosity piqued.

Me:It involves Dalton.

Layla:Now I’m even more curious. So what’s the favor?

Me:Dalton and Bridget want to come look at Natalie’s house. They want to buy it. He’s been asking for a while.

Even texting it makes me break out into a sweat and my pulse begins to race. I’m still unsure about doing this, but having Layla there will anchor me.

Layla:Of course I’ll be there. Day and time?

Me:Today at 3, after Tootsie Pop’s nap.

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