Page 43 of Dark Embers

I sighed but did as Letti instructed, hating that she had a valid point. I closed my eyes and put myself in my mental happy place—deep in the heart of a dark blue ocean of my own imagination—willing myself to become what I really was. I imagined the water lovingly caressing my arms and cheeks, filling my lungs as if filling my heart.

And then it started. The bones of my ankles and knees popped and twisted as my legs morphed together, the pain of it forcing me to grimace. Without the aid of the salt water, transforming dry took much longer and was, therefore, more painful. I urged my body to change faster so the pain would end, scrunching my face with the effort. It was excruciating.

The pain caused me to lose my focus, and my legs began to separate.

“Alright, just get in,” Letti scoffed with no small amount of irritation.

I plunged into the pool, and the transformation continued through to completion. I was so relieved to be away from that pain but disappointed that I failed to shift without the water’s aid.

When my face surfaced, I could tell that Letti had a few belittling things she wanted to say but was holding her tongue, which was actually a pretty impressive feat for her.

“The key to controlling water is to visualize it as an extension of yourself.” Letti got right to the point. “If you want to will anounce of water out of the pool, imagine it’s connected to a limb that you just can’t see. Like an extra hand. Try it.”

I had tried and failed at water manipulation time and again, so I didn’t expect this afternoon would be any different. But I closed my eyes and imagined that my hands formed a cup in the pool in front of me, filling with the water. In my mind, I lifted my hands out of the pool, still holding the water, not a drop spilling out.

I peeked through one eye to see if anything was happening. The only thing I saw was Letti’s Barbie face pinched in a dubious frown.

“Were you even trying to do anything, or are you, like, having some kind of seizure or something?” Letti asked, her arms crossed under her chest.

I dropped my shoulders and sighed. “A seizure? I’m not mentally handicapped.”

“Well, it would sure make a lot of sense if you were,” Letti grumbled under her breath.

My fists clenched beneath the water as anger ruffled the scales along my tail. I really wished I could command the water to slap her hard across the face.

“What were you visualizing?” Letti asked. “Tell me exactly.”

“I was picturing holding my hands in front of me and forming a cup in the water, then lifting that water out of the pool,” I explained.

Letti scoffed. “Ugh. Why can’t you follow simple directions? I said imagine the waterisa limb, not that limbs you already have are influencing it. You can’t see the water as something that is being affected by you, it won’t work that way. You have to see it as if itisyou. Try again.”

The trout triplet was certainly in a rush today. Though she did let slip the occasional insult during sessions, her attitude today was excessive. I was getting ready to say to hell with it and walk out. Let the sea witch run off to her fancy, enabling parents.

But my pride wouldn’t let me. I wanted to get this right. I didn’t want to kick off the next four days of solitude with more fuel for self-deprecation.

I closed my eyes and tried again.

How was I supposed to make myself believe the water was a part of me? This pool was enormous. Not that I had any kind of weight sensitivity, but being the size of this pool would make me way beyond fat. That wasn’t a picture I wanted floating around in my head—my self-esteem was low enough already.

Then something occurred to me. I didn’t have to imagine that my body was literally the size of the amount of water I was touching. What if my soul just extended beyond my physical self to also inhabit the water? I definitely felt connected to water, and the part that hadn’t clicked until now was that it was a connection beyond the physical.

I visualized myself as my soul just floating in my body, radiating beyond my bones and skin and flowing into the water around me. I imagined feeling the water with my soul instead of my physical senses, and the thought sent a ripple through me.

Concentrating on just the water directly in front of me, I reached my soul forward and upward. A gentle gurgle and splash of water made my eyes pop open. The surface of the water in front of me was waving and rocking.

“All that effort for a tiny water bubble?” Letti mocked. “Well, at least you accomplishedsomething.”

The burst of joy sputtered out at Letti’s derisive words.

“What is your problem today?” I snapped. “This is the best I’ve done in any of our tutoring sessions, and all you can do is shut me down. Don’t you get that the closer I get to figuring this stuff out, the closer you get to not having to do this anymore?”

Letti’s brows rose, and she looked a bit stymied.

“I get that you’re happy to go home, but why is that making you even nastier than usual?” I went on.

She looked away, a bitter expression on her face. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“You’re probably right,” I said. “I don’t understand how someone who has everything she could want can still spew misery and hatred like an evil volcano.”

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