Page 97 of Radiant Shadows

It hadn’t been my will to kill that woman, vampire or not. And I would never execute another person again.Thatwas not how this war was going to be won. I’d play along and bide my time. And then, I’d escape. Fuck prophecy.

Chapter 35

Tobias

“I can’t believe you imprinted on Arya!”

This conversation was wearing on me, and my frayed nerves had already leaked every ounce of patience I was capable of.

“Yep,” I said with a sigh.

“Holy shit,” Ashlyn gasped, shoving both her hands into either side of her orange curls. “That’s huge!”

“So is the part where I triggered my family’s curse, and she told me to fuck off,” I deadpanned, then I shot Niko an exasperated glance. “You really had to tell her all that?”

He shrugged. “When you’re moping around and pissing all over not only your one chance at happiness but also your life, yeah. I needed to call in the cavalry.”

I arched a brow at him. “If the accident-prone phoenix is the cavalry, then I’m more of a lost cause than I thought.”

“Hey!” she snapped.

“Dude.” Niko whacked my shoulder hard with the back of his hand. “She’s Arya’s best friend. If anyone could talk some sense into your soulmate, it’s her.”

I cringed at that vile, beautiful word.

“Thank you,” Ashlyn said with a nod at Niko, then looked back at me. “This is just a small speedbump, a hiccup, just like all the other times you’ve fucked up with her. She’s crazy about you. She always has been. We just have to explain—”

“Ugh, will both of you stop!” I shouted, my voice filling the small space of my room. “It’s over! Even if there was some minuscule chance that she could forgive me for manipulating her, tricking her, lying to her aboutsomany things, it’s impossible now. The spell didn’t work. The curse is still here, and Arya will never love me!”

They both stared at me with pinched brows for a long moment, and I hated the pity in their eyes—even if I was the most pitiful sack of shit I’d ever seen.

This entire day had been torture. The static charge to be in Arya’s presence was so potent, it had every cell in my body aching. The tug to go to her was so strong, sometimes it felt like the invisible tether was going to yank me right through the steel walls to wherever she was, crushing my bones in the process.

So many times, I’d felt zaps of urgency, convincing me that she was in danger, but I couldn’t tell if that was instinct or just my paranoia and desperation to see her. If I showed up and she was fine, she’d explode at me and only drive the knife into my heart further. But what if she really was being hurt, and I ignored the call? The not knowing was a torture all in itself.

But this would be my life now, this pain and delirium only escalating as I wasted away. I couldn’t help but wonder how long it would take for her lack of presence to kill me.

There weren’t any cases of estranged imprinted shifters dying because such a thing never happened. Whatever distance came between imprinted mates never lasted for long. They always found a way back to each other because both parties wanted and needed each other. There had never been such a thing as a shifter who rejected their imprinted mate.

The only thing we knew for certain was that the imprinted shifter died after their mate did. So then, would I survive inmisery as long as she lived? Only to finally die after she took her last breath?

Niko put his hand on my knee. “Look, all we’re saying is, you’re giving up too easily, and that’s not like the Tobias we know. You told me the curse got your mom, that she loves your dad, and he doesn’t love her back. But they’re still together because they respect each other, and I know your dad cares about her even if it’s not love.”

Familiar sorrow and resentment bubbled up inside me. “What’s your point?”

“My point is, even if you didn’t break the curse, it’s not too late to still have a friendship with Arya,” he went on. “You can still have her in your life. This curse doesn’t have to be a death sentence.”

My head fell against the headboard of my bed, and I let out a low, humorless laugh. “You’re suggesting I bear my soul to her for a chance at the friend zone only to spend the rest of my life watching her fall in love with other men?”

He scowled at my blunt summarization. “Yes, because if you really love her, you’ll do anything you can to ensure her safety and happiness. Real love isn’t about being loved in return. It’s about sacrificing your will for someone else, regardless of whether you get anything for it.”

I chewed over his words for a moment. Could I be content with loving Arya, protecting her, and making her happy, knowing that she would never feel the same way? Could this imprint ever be satisfied by crumbs of her attention while watching her give all of her affection to someone else?

The truth was, I didn’t really know what love was supposed to be. Draculs didn’t do love, at least not successfully. My mother loved my father, but I had never seen for myself if just loving him was enough for her. The sadness in her eyes had always told me theopposite. I had never seen a true example of voluntary, selfless love.

Suddenly, it hit me. I had not only seen an example of that, Ifeltthat for only one person in my life—Tamara. My love and devotion to my sister had never waned, even with the distance between us while she’s away at college. And even when we’d fought in the past, swore that we hated each other, I had never failed to come running the instant she needed me.

There was nothing in this world I wouldn’t do, wouldn’t give, to make sure she was happy and safe. That was because, despite our differences, we shared a bond that was unbreakable. My bond with Arya was the same, only more powerful.

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