Page 89 of Radiant Shadows

“I know it’s weird, and it’s been a really confusing and bumpy road to get here, but it works,” I defended. “Julian has become like a brother to me over the years, and if Shea needs me to accept him as part of our whatever this is, I’m here for the ride.”

“Mmm-hmm,” Kai hummed, his frown deepening. “So, like, do you and Julian trade off, or is this like atogethertype thing.”

Now my cheeks were burning. “Okay, can we just not go there?”

“Aww, come on, I’m really invested now,” Kai complained. “This is just kinda fascinating. The infamous manly Caesar Rex in a threesome with a vampire and witch! Now I really have seen anything.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head in mortification. “Just drop it, okay. Get your own sex life and then tell me how comfortable you are talking about the intimate details.”

Kai gave a knee-slapping laugh.

“Anyway, that’s where I want us to go,” I said loudly over his lingering amusement. “To Shea’s house. We can figure out our next steps from there.”

Kai’s laughter subsided and he shrugged. “Well, I’ve followed you this far. Where you go, I go. Just…leave me out of the weird sex stuff.”

“Kai,” I warned, inciting his laughter once again.

Ugh, this was going to be a very long night.

Chapter 33

Shea

I had no idea what to do with this revelation as I sat alone in my room, staring at nothing.

On the one hand, it was incredible—I was Julian’s lost love reincarnated! What the hell were the chances of that? I was unbelievably ecstatic about this news!

The vampire I’d felt so drawn to for so many months, had secretly—and not so secretly—longed to capture the heart of, was finally allowed to love me fully and without reservation. He no longer had to be burdened with guilt over Alice because Iwasher! Dare I say, we weremeantto be together.

It was almost unreal. I still couldn’t fully believe it, even though I’d done the magic and felt the results for myself, and Gram had witnessed it and confirmed it. And if I had a hard time accepting it, I could only imagine how Julian would react.

Would he be skeptical? Think I’d fabricated this story to make him feel better about being with me and hate me for such a thing? I would never want him to think I’d be so manipulative. Just the possibility of such an accusation made my stomach twist up like a pretzel.

And if he did believe me, would he be as happy about it as I was? Would he be sad that, even though I was Alice 2.0, I wasn’t exactly the same person he’d loved a hundred years ago? I didn’t share the history with him that she had, didn’t look the same or sound the same. Would he continue to mourn the person I no longer was and would never be again?

These questions were why I hadn’t reached out to him yet. I didn’t know the right way to approach explaining my discovery. And I had no way of knowing if he was busy with the vampires of Heritage Prep. Considering it was night, I didn’t feel safe reaching out. I didn’t want to get him in trouble—at least, that’s what I told myself.

And anyway, this news felt like an in-person kinda thing, not something you divulge over a phone call or communication spell. So, for now, it could wait. It would give me time to process it and figure out how I really felt about it.

Then there was the Caesar of it all. How would he take the news? Would he feel left out? Somehow less deserving of me because fate hadn’t woven this complicated tapestry aroundourcoming together?

Personally, I didn’t feel like it changed anything. Not the way I felt about him. The pull that drew me to him was just as powerful and irresistible as the one for Julian. Even knowing this, I couldn’t say I felt more compelled toward one over the other. None of us had used the “L” word yet, and I hadn’t really used it internally with myself, but I knew that’s what this was. And I felt it equally for both of them.

But I wasn’t sure Caesar would buy that. He was certainly more possessive than Julian, and I knew it had been a more difficult trial for him to agree to this threesome than it had been for Julian. Would this be the straw that broke the gryphon’s back? How could I convince him that he belonged in this triangle with me just as much as Julian did?

Ugh!

I let myself fall back onto my bed, getting a strange satisfaction from the smack of my head against the comforter and the whoosh of air that blew my hair before the landing. Why did thisshit have to be so complicated? I wouldn’t have it any other way, but seriously why couldn’t it all just be easy?

The phrase Gram always said wafted through my mind. “Nothing worth having is ever easy to get.”

Well, you know, sometimes it should be! Romeo and Juliet should’ve been together without their families being assholes, Hercules should’ve been allowed into Mount Olympus without the tasks, and Thomas Edison shouldn’t have had to waste so much time, effort, and material to invent the lightbulb. There, I said it.

The sound of the front door opening carried down the hall as I stared up at my ceiling, but it was the masculine timber of Caesar’s voice immediately after that had me bolting upward.

What was he doing here after dark? And on a day like this when so much had already changed?

I launched off my bed and beelined down the hall, my heart doing a little flutter at the sight of his athletic figure in the doorway beyond Gram. But he hadn’t come alone; a lithe Asian man was behind him on the porch.

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