Page 21 of Cruel Destinies

“Sorry. I needed a drink before I came. I figured, after what happened last time…”

I nearly choked on the too-hot and clearly ill-timed sip I’d just taken. I swallowed repeatedly to clear the discomfort, pushing the mug away from me on the table.

“Yeah, about that,” I began, my throat still raw.

He leaned forward, his expression descending from an amused smirk to a disconcerted frown. “I can’t apologize enough for that. I never…” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “I never feed live. It’s a point of pride with me. But I was so thirsty when you called last time. I lost control, and I took advantage of you. I’m so sorry for…everything that happened that day. I won’t let it happen again.”

I blinked at him a few times, trying to process everything he said.

He thought he took advantage of me? I’d wanted him long before that. Was his thirst the only reason he’d dry-humped me? Was that all it was? I had foolishly convinced myself that he actuallylikedme.

My gut knotted with shame and embarrassment. Of course, he didn’t like me. He didn’t have any interest in me beyond my magic. He’d asked me to bring his dead wife back from the grave, for shit sake! I had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time the other day. A heroin addict doesn’t discern whether a particular hit is attractive or not, or has a great personality. They just take whatever they can get.

Fuck, I was so stupid for thinking this was more than what it was.

I nodded obstinately. “Okay. Good. Glad we got that cleared up. Water under the bridge.”

His frown deepened, his brow pinching with dubious concern, making me realize there was very evident anger in my voice.

I flipped my hair over my shoulder and schooled my tone. “Anyway. That’s not the reason I asked you here. What affiliation do you have with other vampires?”

He cocked his head, obviously confused by my complete change of subject. “Um, well, that’s a bit complicated.”

“Okay, I’ll uncomplicate it,” I said, very much all business now that I knew that’s all we were to each other. “There was a big vampire attack in Chicago last Thursday, the day after I saw you. Were you involved?”

Julian looked away, his already pale complexion looking a little paler. “I’m afraid it’s better if we don’t speak of it.”

I took a deep breath. “Look, if I’m going to work with you, I need to know you’re one of the good guys.”

He looked me dead in the eyes, his expression solemn and sincere. “I am.”

I studied him for a long moment, waiting for him to crack, some emotion to betray him. Or maybe he’d pull the compulsion card. Not all vampires could compel others, but older ones sometimes could. And despite his youthful appearance, Julian had a bearing about him that seemed stuck in another century. Yeah, he was probably ancient—and somehow, that wasn’t creepy.

Still, I felt no different, neither swayed for or against my initial impression, just my gut saying he was telling the truth. But I wasn’t letting him off that easy.

“If you want my help, you’ll have to do better than that. I need an explanation, or you can have your grimoire back.” I kept my gaze on him steady and unwavering, desperately hoping he wouldn’t call my bluff because, honestly, I’d sooner die than give up the grimoire.

He looked at me for a long moment. I almost thought I saw longing in his eyes, but then I stubbornly reminded myself that the longing was really for his dead wife.Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Finally, he let out a breath then looked around the coffee shop as if someone might be eavesdropping before leaning close again.

“Yes, I am affiliated with those vampires, and yes, I was involved in the attack, but it’s not what you think,” he whispered.

I narrowed my eyes at him, my emotional outrage telling me I should walk away at the same time that my gut told me to hear him out.

“I left the vampires a decade ago,” he continued. “I hate everything they stand for, and I wanted to be better. But just recently, an old friend from the shifter school asked me to rejoin the vampires as a spy. You know him, I think. I caught his scent at your friend’s house along with yours. Caesar.”

I swear on everything that is good and pure in this world that my heart. Fucking. Stopped.

My brain must have stopped, too, because I momentarily lost the ability to form thoughts into words in my mind. I was too stunned, shocked into a vegetative state for several long seconds.

“He’s the contact I have at the school,” Julian continued when I only stared blankly at him. “He’s the reason I said I could get you in. If he knew how much you could help our joint cause, I’m sure he’d consider a placement for you.”

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit!

Not only had I hooked up with the two hottest guys I’d ever seen—probably on the entire planet—but they fucking knew each other! And obviously, neither of them knew about my affiliation with the other.

Shit just got a whole lot more complicated.

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